The countless words of love that we’re whispered
Our promises that are breaking instantly
No, this is a dream, your eyes are telling me

Just hug me again

You think I don’t know you?
You’re lying right now

You still love me, you’re still the same

I’ll stay here now
Because I have so much to do for you
Because there’s so much I owe you
Because I’m so thankful

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I could barely sleep last night as my mind was so busy in mixing things and analyzing them to reach to an explanation, but nothing was done except for shedding more tears. I felt really bewildered especially after Baekhyun's words yesterday.

He told me about the apple-shaped birth mark which I have; he said that his granny has once told a story about a missing boy who had such one. He didn't remember what was the story exactly about , but he was totally sure that he once heard her talking about such thing.

What? A missing boy? What is that supposed to mean? That was an enough reason to make me sleepless the whole night. However, it was not the only one; oppa's weird actions have confused and disturbed me lately, too.

He was coming late to the house, and when I come back home after school, he won't be there as always. We were barely talking to each other, especially that I am having my final exams the next week. I gave up quarreling with him about his carelessness towards me, and I started training myself to be more independent and to care about myself better.

I started to realize things; now I felt as if I am growing up because I won't be attached to him to the rest of my life. That's not my wish, of course, but it is what I see and notice these days.

In the morning, I wake up hearing the shocking news. Oppa unusually was watching the TV, and I could hear a reporter stating that the police could reach to the ID of the victim who was killed by the explosion before a month.

I jumped up preparing my mind and heart to a possible shock; and I was glad that I did.

IT ISN'T HIM, the one who gave me the weird mobile. I am totally one hundred percent sure that he is someone else. That one had some special facial expressions with odd eyes. I got somehow relieved that he is still alive, and that made me almost sure that he is the other one who sent me that cheering message.

The weird thing was the eyes of oppa; they were lost, and I could see a the deep sorrow filling them. I now wanted to test him. Yeah! I got the nerves to test his honesty; just like I've tested my heart, I wanted to know whether I should trust him or pull out of his embrace.

"Oppa~ why are you looking at him like that? do you know him?" That was my test.

"No, of course not." That was all what he said in much confidence, as always, before leaving me alone looking to that face- the victim's- beyond a wall of tears that were being gathered in my exhausted eyes.

Therefore, that was the answer for me, I should NOT TRUST him anymore.

Yeah! I am going to do that to the one who took me in and loved me for 11 years. I may be called such a selfish and rotten kid, but I would never care because I believe that I have to do the same as he did. He left me lost, knowing nothing about his and my past. He lied to me more than once, AND...he left my heart broken.

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In the next day, I met my friends in the school's backyard before heading to the class. I tried my best to look as if I was totally alright as I didn't want to talk about anything related to my life. I just spent happy minutes with them joking around and playing as we have usually done.

I slept all the time in the class as I really couldn't sleep well last night, too. However, when the English class time came, I tried my best to get up as I wanted to see Kim seungsaeng-nim with a happy face, hoping that it would cheer me up today.

''Kim seungsaeng-nim is not coming today. He is absent...YEAH!" One of the students have announced and the others started cheering and ululating as a kind of celebration. But for me, my heart was boiling...WHY? WHY this time, in which I need him the most, he is not here?

Sohyun could see that; she could see how I was burning inside. Suddenly, she approached me, pulled me gently to her embrace and hugged me tight while patting softly on my hair. I felt it really well inside, and, in that moment, I was satisfied enough, and I didn't feel the need to oppa's existence. But still, I hated that fact as much as I hated him lying on me, as much as I hated Kim seungsaeng-nim absence today.

Although I couldn't figure that out, although I couldn't find a reason, I still felt that way in that exact moment.

"You are not good at acting, girl. Do you think that we didn't know that you are not feeling well today; we could feel that since the beginning but acted as fools for you, honey Ji. I knew that you will cry at the end, so that's why I am always here beside you." She said while softly looking into my weak eyes.

Then she completed as I could say nothing but cried more, "I don't really know what has happened to you those last two days, but I am sure there is something that made you so frustrated like this. You are totally free to express it whenever you want, Jiji."

I could not hide it more; I've told her and Baekhyun about the whole matter later while we were going back home together. They could see how I was really uncertain and uneasy. Therefore, Baekhyun has suggested to go to his granny and stay in her house for some days. He assured us that she will be certainly happy if we did so as she has once suggested that to him.

I asked them to let me think about it for some time, but I really felt that I didn't need to waste a minute thinking about it. I was glad that I won't see oppa today, I won't feel bad, I won't get confused or sad, AND I'd be happy without him. That was what I thought.

And yes, I've directly called him to just inform him of my plans. I waited some moments till he answered, and when I heard his voice, I could feel it was weak and trembling. My heart skipped a beat, and I got really worried. Even my hands started to tremble.

"Oppa~ are you okay? Why is your voice like that? Are you sick again?" I couldn't hide my worry as I asked him about his condition.

"I am not feeling very well right now, but don't worry, sweetie, I'll be just fine when I take up my medicine. Why are you calling me? You still in the school now?" He stated and I could feel myself boiling from the deepest point of my heart.

WHY? Why, in god sake, he is telling the truth now? Why he didn't tell a lie? Simply, he could say''I am fine; don't worry'' , and I would probably feel better.

"Uhhh... then take the medicine and take care of yourself, oppa. I just called to inform you that I am going to sleep out, in Baekhyun's granny's house, alright?"

"Alright, Ji, have fun and take care of yourself." I was sure that I could notice his hesitance while saying those words. Yeah! I am not cheering myself up, but I am certain that this oppa didn't want me to stay away of him. Or was it me who didn't want it?!

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"It's your destination, miss." That was what the taxi driver said to announce me that I reached the police station, where I asked him to drive me to. Before that, I actually could find Kim seungsaeng-nim's house address in his office with the help of my friends. Although they protested the idea in the first place, they couldn't fold their hands, and they helped me a lot to do what I wanted.

Unfortunately, when I arrived there I didn't find him in his house, and then one of his neighbors told me that two police men have come and taken him to the police station. I was totally shocked by the news, but that pushed me to go for him no matter what.

 He is still my teacher; if I didn't get the help I need from the one who should take care of me, then I should ask my teacher for help, shouldn't I? Shouldn't I?

If I got nobody to help me out, hug me tight, love me more, and in my sake fight, shall not I ask another one to do that? I am feeling weak now; I just show myself that I am totally alright, but I am not. Not AT ALL!

"Kim seungsaeng-nim~" I loudly called his name as I saw him going out of the building towards his car. Although he was really shocked to see me over there, he approached me and even widely smiled when he noticed my sad facial expression.

"What are you doing here? How did you know that I am in police station? Did...-" He started his nonstop questions as he sat beside me.

"I won't ask you anything, I won't act like a spoiled kid, and I won't confess to you, but please Kim seungsaeng-nim, I want to talk to you." I quickly stated as I thought that he will send me home after he gave that mouthful of questions.

 However, he drew a little sweet smile on his face and asked me to follow him; then I did. He drove us to a nearby cafe, and there he asked me what I wanted to drink. Yeah! He didn't order coffee for both of us as he did the last time, but I ordered coffee.

"What's up? Now tell me everything and don't lie." He quietly asked as he sat straight on his chair looking me into the eyes.

"Did...the manager of that orphan told you anything else about me? Please, if he wanted to hide it, can you please reveal it for me; I will be really grateful if you did." I started hesitant but ended it confidently as I reminded myself that I will do anything to know the truth.

He didn't look disturbed of my question, and that confused me. I thought that he would be shocked, at least. He gulped his coffee which has just arrived, and he then looked at me with a light smile stating, ''If he did I won't be hiding it from you, be sure of that, Jung Eunji."

 I could really tell that he uttered my name as if he was reminding himself of it, as if he was uttering it for the first time. I couldn't prevent myself of feeling confused and doubtful.

I wanted anything, anything that may help me to reach to what I want, but all what I got are more puzzles. I then held my cup of coffee and took a sip of it for the first time ever.

Some of my stupid tears started to crawl down till they reached my jaw, and my nose started to get red and to water a little bit. Kim seungsaeng-nim didn't notice it as I was hiding my face by looking down at my cup.

But then he noticed it and got bewildered; he asked me repeatedly, "Why are you crying?" And I could only tell him this, while crying, "It is so much bitter; it hurts me a lot. It has a bitter taste, the coffee."

He looked even more confused and asked, "Were not you the one who order it? Shall I bring you another thing? What do you want? Just tell me, and don't cry."

"No, thanks Kim seungsaeng-nim. I will drink it. Even if I don't like the bitter taste of it, I will just live with it and go on. I lived without a real mother and father but went over it. I lived knowing nothing about myself but went over it. I lived being called a and being looked down at by people surrounding me but went over it. I did all that, so why won't I be able to drink this cup of coffee?" I stated gazing at that cup and having no eye-contact with Kim seungsaeng-nim at all. I was actually crying, and I was also ashamed of myself for being like this in front of him.

After some moments, Kim seungsaeng-nim got assured that I stopped crying, and then he excused me to go somewhere. As he left, I started gazing at my coffee cup again, and my damn tears began falling down for the hundredth time today.

All of a sudden, a familiar smell approached me, and a warm touch of a hand was placed on my head and patted my hair. I couldn't define the identity of that person who did that as I was looking down at the cup. I even didn't raise up my head to see him, and I don't know why. I just thought that he is Kim seungsaeng-nim. And I never thought I would regret it that much. And now, all what I know is that I am the most stupid girl ever to not do it. Because after a minute, he left leaving me with a small sheet of paper and a great amount of anger and regret.

He was that much close to me but I didn't see his face. Even if he was covering it with a cap like the last time, I still should have given him a damn short look. Or, at least, I should have asked him the question ''Who am I?''.

Even when I realized my fault and stood up to look for him, he was gone leaving no damn impact after him. Then Kim seungsaeng-nim has come, and he was stunned as he saw me looking around myself like a little insane kid.

Before he could ask anything, I wondered,"Seungsaeng-nim~ haven't you see a man wearing black and covering his head with a black cap passing beside you when you came here?" I thought that the weird man would be wearing black just like he did the last time.

He was really startled, and then he sat putting a cup of cold juice in front of me and stated, "I didn't see anyone passing here. It is the afternoon already, and the customers rarely go to cafes in this time of the day. That's why you can see that we are almost the only ones here." He ended with a soft smile alluding me to sit down again.

I did that, but my head was totally sinking in an ocean of all kinds of thoughts related to that weird man. I was sure that he is the one who gave me the weird mobile before a month, and he was the one helping me to solve the enigma of my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Baekhyun's granny's house, I read the few lines written in the paper sheet for the eighth time, but now in front of my friends. It simply said, ''Jung Eunji, or let me say...Kang Chorim, go back to 11 years before. There was an accident that caught the eyes of the media and public for a short time before it was gone away. And to let you know, I am sending this message personally to tell you that I am always beside you, so don't cry again.''

"Why it doesn't contain a signature?" Sohyun commented and Baekhyun scolded, "As if it will help us."

"It may do! I mean, if he at least left the initial letters of his name, that would be a great help for us, I guess." She insisted explaining her opinion.

I somehow agreed with her. Why didn't he include his signature. It just means that he didn't want me to know his identity. But why? Why he doesn't want that? And then why is he helping me in the first place? 

"Alright, now let's focus on the important things first. The priority is obviously given to "the accident that happened 11 years before".The weird name here ''Kang Chorim''...let's leave it for later. You are adopted, and that may be related to this topic. Now...let's go back to the main point. Do you have any idea about that 11 years before accident, Ji?" He asked. But the beats of my heart didn't wait his question to get that much fast as I have just realized that... I know what happened 11 years before.

"It was when I first met oppa. Eleven years ago, he adopted me." With a shaky heart, I've stated that while trembling all over. That was shocking for me; I've actually read this message more than once but I didn't realize it till I read it in front of them.

They have also got shocked, and Sohyun slowly mumbled, ''So...does that...relate to your... I mean, hum...it cannot be, right? Maybe... it just...-"

"Don't prejudge! We still know nothing about that. Let's just make some research first; then we would be able to measure things better." Baekhyun cut her words looking at my face in worry.

Then Sohyun realized her mistake, so she hugged me and started to cheer me up as she noticed my dark expressions, "It sure can't be. I am just an idiot person who is always in a hurry." Whether she said or not, I was just thinking about the same thing...that oppa has, of course, done something bad for me.

And I won't calm down till I know the whole truth; I will know it!

"Guys, forgive me, but I want to go to see oppa."

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The ninth chapter is here~

It's getting to its , so please stay tuned. Some puzzles are being solved while others are being formed. I hope you like the development of the feelings of my characters and the plot of the story.

Enjoy reading!

Thanks^^