The sun drags itself across the visual range of the classroom windows telling us it's almost time to go home. I have four assignments to do tonight and I don't even really want to go home in the first place.

With Nam Joon sitting beside me avidly participating in the math lesson, I keep my eyes on the sunlight and avoid communication of any kind. The teacher is too busy to notice that half her class could care less exactly how root probability is compatible with how many oranges Sun Kim gave his mother for Christmas- or whatever she's talking about and so a few of us, including Julie- is asleep with their heads down.

In between sections in our text book, Nam Joon passes me a note on a folded piece of paper. I stare at it for a second before picking it up and reading it.

"Is there something wrong?"

I sigh inaudibly and write back, sliding it back to him across the table top.

"Ani. Wae?"

And it comes back with, "Because you're the only one avoiding the new kid. Am I intimidating?"

"Ani. Mianhe."

"Jinjja? Wae?"

"Jinjja. It's nothing you did. I'm just like this. It's my personality. Always cold."

"But... and we be friends?"

I shoot him a weird look and write a question mark before sending it back.

"It's because I'm not used to being in the bad feelings of a girl."

"What."

"I don't want you to hate me. So let's be friends."

I'm tempted to suggest we just remain indifferent, but I have a gut feeling that I should at least accommodate him in this particular event. Who knows? Maybe he can help with test questions.

"Neh. Alhaseyo."

And that...is weirdly that. I do not promise to treat him any better but I also do not promise to keep avoiding him. I sit hoping we can just ignore each other forever. But then I catch myself occasionally glancing at his hands and a strange feeling of comfort surrounds me. Just a small reminder of somebody I can never have again, who was very important to me. Somebody who made me feel safe.

The final bell rings and I get my book bag, dump my homework and pencils into it and stand up, pulling the single strap over my head. Julie comes up to my desk and waits, as we take the same bus home.

"Sunni..." Nam Joon's low voice catches my attention and I turn to look at him.

"Can I ask you something?"

I internally freak out a little, hoping he didn't notice me looking at his hands earlier.

"Ask," I say coldly.

"Why...do you dress like a boy?"

Julie and I exchange glances and eye-rolling before I turn and slap one hand on Nam Joon's shoulder, "Nam Joon. Go home."