I look up at the stage, and I watch you enter. The music starts and you start moving charismatically. Every move is sharp and clear, your voice comes out loud and deep, and you look happy. I can only watch from the seats in the audience, listening to the constant screaming of your many fans. I can do nothing but watch you enjoy your life, sadly, unable to feel happy for you.

The song ends and you look up at your fans and smile genuinly. I smile back, although I know you can't see me. Although I know the smile wasn't directed towards me. I watch you run off stage, with the rest of your members. I walk out, no longer needing to stay. I've seen what I needed to, I've seen that you've achieved your goal and now you're happy. 

You're happy but I'm not.

You've moved on but I haven't.

Many people admire you but most people spit at me.

People look at me disgustingly, at my disgusting dark circles, my bony body, my messy hair. But they don't know why I am like this. They don't care, they don't stop to think that maybe I have nothing left to live for in my life. No, they don't even look at me, because they are Koreans. Filthy, smart, rude, arrogant Koreans that know nothing but themselves. I remember when we were younger, if anyone even so much as glared at me you would yell at that person, beat him up if he was a boy, do anything to defend me. But now I have no one, no one to protect me from society.

I take the taxi to my parent's grave. I stop by the florist first, to leave some flowers there. I remember when I first received the news of my dead parents when I was in the middle of biology, the first thing you did was come up to me and give me a long comforting hug. Now I have no one to comfort me as I cry alone, as I miss that feeling of being safe, the knowledge that I know someone takes care of me. I now visit my parents alone, with no siblings to cry over them with me.

I take the bus back but stop by the grocery store to buy food for tonight's dinner. What for, I know I'm just going to throw it all back up again. I remember when even in the most painful times, you would always take me with you to the grocery store and fill up my cart with food I would never eat if I was alone. You always told me no matter what situation I am in, I must eat, for I must be healthy no matter what. You told me, at least eat for you. You always ate with me, breakfast, lunch, dinner, everyday, to make sure that I eat properly. Now I have no one to make sure I eat all three meals everyday. I usually only eay an apple a day, and throw that up. 

I sigh and leave the store without buying anything. I walk the way back home. I pass by the local park, and see a few kids playing around happily with their mothers gossiping. I remember after my parents passed away, the other mothers told their children to stay away from me, and they all talked about me behind my back. I remember whenever you heard someone say those things, you always walked up to them and defend me. But now I see the gossiping mothers slowly pick up their children and move to another portion of the park, eyeing me.

I shake my head, used to everything and reach my apartment. I walk in and a note floats down onto my hand. I look at it and it's the landlord telling me to pay. I remember whenever I didn't have enough money to pay for the apartment, you would always pay for me, no matter what. You would yell at the landlord to lay off, and to stop and think about my situation for once. You always shut him up, and helped me laugh watching him cowaring under you. Now you're gone, making a fortune with fame, and I just get news from my boss that I got fired. 

I remember all these things, everyday, I watch myself get smaller and smaller and more miserable, while you grow bigger and bigger and happier. I still remember what kinds of songs you like to listen to, I remember that you get angry easily if someone insults the one you dearly love, I remember how sensitive you can get. I remember every single thing about you.

But do you remember me?