WARNING : Some homophobic slurs used in this chapter- read with caution

Chapter 6: Falling For You

Donghae had no idea what he was doing but he knew he was having fun. The moment he’d heard the slurred words trickle out the guy to his side’s mouth he knew he had the upper hand. It was time to play a little game. After telling the blond to just take the card when it came to his time Donghae patiently waited for it to be his turn. He became gradually more and more frustrated every time someone dropped the card, meaning he had to wait even longer, he was becoming impatient. Every couple of minutes he’d steal a glance at the now wide eyed boy, he looked practically petrified and Donghae found it even more amusing and slightly adorable.

Donghae didn’t like guys, he was definitely straight (despite Kyuhyun’s suspicions), and he just thought it would be funny to kiss this guy. He had rather kissable lips anyway, so full and … Donghae was definitely straight, he liked girls, but the alcohol in his system brought on a new found curiosity in him, urges that he couldn’t resist. The card finally made it to the girl on his right and he received it with expert skill. He turned to face his victim.

The other boy’s eyes glistened with emotions, curiosity and fear and joy all mixed into one, Donghae was oblivious simply focused on his on muddled brain. His stomach was knotting, suddenly anxious about his recently cocky idea. There was no escape as the other’s slightly parted lips slowly approached the card, his warm breath brushed Donghae’s face as they slowly closed the gap between them. Just as the pair of lips were pursed to cautiously collect the card Donghae stopped the flow of air that kept it there, allowing it to fall to the floor.

When full lips grazed Donghae’s thinner mouth, every nerve in his body sprung to life, a fire burning through his veins and his brain bursting into over drive, a mixture of beer and something unrecognisable and fruity invading his senses. Deep in his stomach butterflies fluttered up and a smile sneaked onto his face as a sense of victory took over him. After what felt like a millennia the innocent kiss was over and Donghae was left facing a very shocked blond boy. Part of him wondered if they’d both felt the same thing, his expression remained calm but inside he was filled with bewilderment.

“Don’t get so flustered dude, it’s just a kiss.” Every inch on his skin screamed to touch him again, to be close to him. Every part of Donghae’s rational brain told him he couldn’t, he didn’t want to he was just drunk, he didn’t know this guy. He was straight… right? He gave into his craving and gently pushed the frozen boys shoulder before turning away to hide the smile spreading across his face. Why was he reacting like some infatuated school girl, he didn’t even know this guy.

As the night passed by and the blond had long gone, Donghae attempted to drown his feelings, to wash his curiosity and surprise away and immerse himself. The laughter around him suddenly sounded less joyful, less interesting, less welcoming. Every face his eyes scanned didn’t seem as happy, like they were all missing something deep inside. Like they were trying to ignore the gnawing sensation that Donghae was now consumed by. He was alone. Sweaty bodies were pushing against him and muddled conversations filled his ears but he was so alone.

With bottle in hand Donghae retreated to one of the empty bedrooms on the second floor and drank. Drank until his mind was a blur, drank until his thoughts were meaningless streams of nonsense. He drank until he forgot his own name, forgot everything about himself but he couldn’t forget the sensation that had filled his body or the ache of loneliness that had now arisen in his chest.

Shuffling around so his legs were crossed and his head wresting on the foot of a mattress he tried to remember the boy. Wading through the sea of blurred memories was like trying to swim with a cement block attached to your ankle, hopeless. His mind was a mess of blank spaces and meaningless faces, the only solid thing he could anchor himself to was bright blond hair and that’s what his mind was filled with as he slipped out of consciousness.

Bright rays shone through the open curtains directly onto the slumped body of Donghae. A bottle sat forgotten beside him and his shirt dangled loosely from his arms, his head hung low as his face was shielded by a veil of brown hair. His head twitched as he woke, moving his tense muscles and holding a hand out to block out the light he inspected the room around him, unsure where his night had lead him. Spread on the bed behind him were the familiar forms of Amber and Krystal and curled up on a pile of clothes was a younger boy with round cheeks and pouty lips.

Flinching from light and damning himself for drinking so much he stumbled out of the bedroom and down into the kitchen. Teens were sprawled everywhere, sleeping on kitchen counters and sitting on the stools surrounding the breakfast bar, but none of them were anyone he cared for. Siwon was long gone and that mysterious blond seemed to have disappeared forever. Patting his pockets to check his phone and wallet were still there Donghae finally headed out of the house into the harsh Sunday morning and began the short walk home.

Flipping his phone over in his hands he debated with himself on whether to talk to his friends about what had happened, granted he couldn’t remember much but it’d – he’d left a lasting impression on Donghae. Would being able to clarify his feelings be worth the ridiculing from Kyuhyun he’d surely be forced to endure? He slowed his pace, sliding his fingers over the touch screen and scrolling through his contacts, hesitating as his finger hovered over his best friends number. With a shrug Donghae finally concluded that there was nothing to lose and began typing a message. This was probably something that would be much easier explained in person or over the phone but texting gave Donghae time to format his message better. After rewriting it a dozen times he finally hit send.

“Something happened last night. I don’t know how I feel about it.”

A couple of miles away, in his own room, Kyuhyun scrunched his eyebrows at the message that’d just interrupted his game. He couldn’t be bothered with any mysteries, even on a good day, forget about when he was made to lose on his favou