Eighth Paradise : Sungjong

”Wow. It’s a brown. Very manly Sungjong,” I as we watched the door turn a mahogany colour instead of the frilly pink that I was expecting. He smirked triumphantly, took my hand and led me downstairs.

“We lost,” I smiled at Sungyeol and Hoya. Their expectant faces dropped immediately and they began complaining about how Sungjong must have meddled with the door with magic. The three of us coughed up the chocolate coins from yesterday’s gambling session and handed it over to a delighted Sungjong. He bounded up the stairs to stash them away safely from his hyungs before rejoining us at the kitchen.

“What are you guys doing awake? You’re usually asleep by the time we get back from the other side,” I asked Sunggyu who as usual, abused his power as the leader to get as many candies as he could before letting the rest of them fight it out. A bar of chocolate came zooming towards us. With a quick flick of his arm, Sunggyu snatched it out of the air cleanly.

“Mine,” he stated in a commanding tone at the other guys with a stern glare before turning to me with a wide smile. “They said they wanted to wait up for you. Apparently, you’re rather enjoyable to be around after spending thousands of years around other guys only.”

“I feel so loved,” I said mockingly, earning a chuckle from the honey-headed man. Woohyun plopped down on my other side and slung one arm around my shoulders carelessly.

“He’s right. You’re just like a breath of fresh air. A beautiful rose among the thorns,” he said while smirking, eyebrows wiggling suggestively. I grabbed one of Sunggyu’s chocolate bars and stuffed it into his mouth, pushing his face away from me.

“Myungsoo! Come back here! You’re not allowed to hog all the marshmallows!” Dongwoo yelled at an escaping Myungsoo whose arms were filled to the brim with marshmallow cubes, some tumbling down from his arms as he sprinted away up the stairs with Dongwoo right on his heels.

“Save it, Woohyun. She’s clearly not interested,” Sunggyu peeled Woohyun’s arm away from my shoulders and threw it back at him. We laughed as his arm hit him squarely on the nose, turning it red.

“Sungjong! Share! Hyeri bought those for us!”

“These lemon candies are mine! MINE!”

“She gave me a nine out of ten the other day! A solid nine!”

Sunggyu looked at me with a bemused expression, ignoring the string of complaints from Woohyun. I returned his gaze curiously before he ruffled my hair roughly. I glared at him and he only smiled, eyes curling into those perfect crescents again.

“Look what you’ve done to us, Han Hyeri.”

“Don’t worry Hyeri, we’ll steal them later. Hoya knows where his food stash is,” Sungyeol mouthed at me while giving me the thumbs up. I grinned back, feeling a little sorry for Sungjong for having such mischievous hyungs.

“Alright noona, are you ready?” He beamed happily at me while leading me over to the portal.

Nodding, we linked arms and jumped into the portal. The ride wasn’t nearly as rough as what I experienced with Hoya yesterday. We landed safely and on our feet in the guest bedroom much to my surprise. Sungjong noticed the surprise in my face, cocking his head to the side curiously.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. Just that we actually managed to land safely today,” I grinned sheepishly at him.

“Land safely?”

“Like on the first day, Sunggyu and I were separated after going through the portal because we weren’t connected to each other,” I explained as I stuck my head out and scanned the surroundings. The house was empty since Mija had a sleepover the night before and after checking the time, I realized it was around the time Mija would still be in school.

“So that’s the reason why you insisted on holding the hyungs’ hands after the first day,” I motioned for him to follow me and we made our way towards the kitchen.

“It was horrific trying to find Sunggyu after he went missing,” I shuddered at the thought of Sunggyu nearly beating up some random stranger when he was trying to look for me that day.

“Sunggyu hyung does have a rather short fuse,” Sungjong giggled. “So where’s Mija?” He added while looking around.

“She’s still in school, she should be back in about a few hours or so.”

“So what do we do now?” Sungjong pouted, resting his arms on the countertop.

“Want to go out? We can pick her up directly from school when the time comes then,” I suggested. He nodded eagerly and we were out of the house in seconds, with Sungjong dragging me along like a little kid.

We visited the mall first, Sungjong had let out a loud, girlish scream when he saw the huge building looming in the distance, loitering around and killing time by window-shopping. He was fascinated by everything we came across, literally sticking his face against all the glass displays, eyes shining when he pointed out all the cute things and objects on sale. He was especially excited when we made it to the toys shop, pulling out every single stuffed toy and playing with them. In the end, I bought him a white bear, earning another delighted squeal from him when I handed it over.

“Thank you so much, noona!” He exclaimed while swinging the bag the bear was in in wide arches.

I waved his thanks away and we settled into a corner in a coffee shop to kill more time. Ordering an Americano for myself and a strawberry milkshake for Sungjong, he continued to gush about how there were so many interesting things in the Mortal World.

“You’ve never been here before?” I asked him curiously.

He shook his head frantically. “The rest of the hyungs have been to the Mortal World a few times before but this is my first time!”

Our drinks arrived and Sungjong ogled the tall glass of milkshake with real strawberries stuck onto lip of the glass. He looked adorable as he stared at it hungrily from across the table. I pushed it towards him, giving him a reassuring nod when he looked at me with a confused expression before he began devouring the strawberries. Looking at him munch on the strawberries happily, he reminded me of Mija and her gluttonous ways. She definitely ate way more than a normal five year old does but she stayed as skinny as a stick. Mija…who’s going to feed you silly once I’m gone?

“Noona?” Sungjong looked up from his milkshake with a little foam stuck to his edge of his lips and I swear I saw Mija’s image flash before my eyes.

I hummed a reply, not trusting my own voice. He didn’t seem to have noticed my change in mood though since he continued slurping on the milkshake happily.

“Oh yeah, how’s your shoulder?” I asked thoughtlessly after remembering that he had injured himself yesterday during the struggle with that girl.

I looked up when there was no reply from Sungjong. He had frozen midway of putting another strawberry in his mouth. The cream dripped off the fruit, staining the dark wooden table with white splatters. “Sungjong? Is something wrong?”

He snapped out of his stupor. His grip on the strawberry slipped and it tumbled onto the table and rolled off the edge. Sungjong gasped loudly and stared longingly at the fallen strawberry, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Noona,” he whined. “You shouldn’t have startled me like that. Now, Mr Strawberry’s gone.”

“Startled you?” I laughed as he continued staring at the fallen fruit. “But I didn’t do anything.”

“You shouldn’t know about my shoulder injury,” Sungjong flipped his bangs away from his eyes and looked at me, a smug grin tugging at his lips. I felt my face flushing, cursing myself mentally for the slip of my tongue again.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated the words I spoke to Hoya from the day before. Sungjong just shrugged and settled back into his chair.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not bothered by it, not like Sunggyu hyung. Though, I have a feeling he knows that you went into the Room of Judgment but decided not to bring it up.”

“So that’s what the room is called huh? Pretty fitting, I guess,” I observed the dark liquid of my Americano swirl lazily, feeling thoughtful.

It had stopped. Those flashes of their expressionless faces. It didn’t haunt me anymore. And I was glad. I realized it when we spent time together yesterday night. It was impossible, I could never think of them to be ruthless and heartless, not when they’ve managed to wiggle themselves into my own heart, securing a place for them to call their own. I was hopelessly attached with them but it didn’t bother me anymore.

“Stop smiling like that,” Sungjong’s voice sounded irritated.

“Like how?”

“Like you’re thinking of a lover. I’m jealous.”

∞

“And once, Sungyeol hyung injected vinegar into everything he could get his hands on.”

“No way.”

“It was so disgusting. I refused to eat anything Sungyeol hyung offered for forever. Vinegar does things to you. But the funniest thing was Dongwoo hyung. He knew there was something wrong with the banana but he continued to eat it anyway. Only after he had finished did he realized there was something wrong with the banana. He’s so gullible.”

“You guys should really stop picking on Dongwoo so much, he’s so sweet and innocent.”

Sungjong and I were enjoying the light breeze that blew through the air as we munched on the crepes that I bought for us. After bringing him to buy the ring from the same stall I visited with Hoya yesterday, we wandered around the mall a little more before settling down at a small park we found ourselves at. The small brown stone set in the ring glinted brilliantly under the sunlight, giving off haphazard rays of light from every angle the light hit it.

“It’s what makes Dongwoo hyung so lovable. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him get angry in all the time we’ve lived together,” he placed one slender finger on his chin, thinking with his eyes directed towards the sky.

“Ahhh. I’m so jealous. It must be amazing to have siblings,” I sighed.

“Don’t you have any siblings?” I smiled and shook my head.

“I’m an orphan.” Sungjong opened his mouth and closed it again. He directed his eyes to his shoes and mumbled an apology. I patted him on the back and assured him that it was alright.

“I’ve never known my parents. They left me on the doorstep of the orphanage I grew up in when I was a year old. At least, that’s what my handlers told me. A rattan basket, some blankets and my birth documents with the parent’s names left blank. That’s all they left me, not a letter, not even a note. Nothing to let me know where I came from, who I am.”

“A pair of inhumane beasts,” Sungjong’s crepe looked like it was about to explode from the sheer force he was gripping it with. The chocolate spilled over and flowed down his fingers but he was oblivious to it, his expression hard and appalled.

“Don’t take it out on the crepe, Sungjong,” I eased the poor thing out of his fingers and handed him a napkin to wipe his fingers. He cleaned his fingers and tossed the soiled napkin away, a frown on his face. “I don't understand how they could act the way they did. Don't you hate them?”

“I don’t hate them. But I think it would be more appropriate for me to say that I have no feelings for them, not anymore. When I was younger, I hated them with my whole being, I cursed them but in reality I was just scared. I thought there was something wrong with me, something that made them abandon me on that doorstep, cutting me permanently out of their lives. Those were the darkest days of my life. They scarred me, not physically but mentally, leaving a mark that refused to heal. I never felt good enough, even when I was doing well in school, even when I was winning awards. I never felt good enough. I would always question myself, suffocating myself with self-doubt. I would always ask, if I was good enough, why did they leave me?”

“I was never happy. Any trace of happiness I felt would be crushed by those thoughts in an instant. Then one day, I snapped out of it, just like that. I decided enough was enough. It’s like I’ve been slumbering in this cage I built for myself and when I woke up, the door was magically open. I knew that if I didn't take this chance, it’d never come again. So I escaped the cage, ing myself into the unknown, never looking back even once. It was strange at first, feeling happy. I couldn’t understand it, that warmth that engulfs you so completely, that feeling that makes your heart beat just a little faster. It took me some time, but I finally learned, learned how to laugh, learned to love, learned to be happy.”

“I came to terms with my abandonment and it gave me the peace I needed. I decided I didn’t have the time to cling onto people who clearly want nothing to do with me. It was a stupid thing to do when there were so many others who loved me for who I am. If they didn’t care for me, I won’t spare any time for them either. Come on Sungjong, stop crying. You’re making me feel horrible.”

Sungjong’s head was on my lap as I told him my story. He was sniffling and trying very hard to hide it. “I’m not crying! There’s something in my eye,” he said lamely as one lone tear escaped his eye. I swiped it away while smiling, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “You’re such a baby Sungjong ah,” I his brown hair fondly.

“I am not a baby!” I laughed and continued his hair, enjoying the comfortable silence that fell over us.

“Thank you for telling me. I’m happy you trust me enough to share it with me,” he mumbled quietly. “Since you let me in on your little secret, I’ll let you know one of my own.”

“I’m sure you’ve heard from one of the hyungs that we don’t know how we came to be, am I right? It’s like we appeared out of thin air, created by God for the sole purpose of fulfilling our responsibilities as the Guardians of Paradise. It’s a lie.”

I was thoroughly confused by his sudden confession. My confusion must have shown on my face since he poked my forehead and asked me to relax. “Don’t frown. You’ll get lines on your face,” he smirked before sobering up and continuing.

“I remember. I remember like it was yesterday exactly how we became the Guardians. My name when I still lived and breathed like a normal human was Lee Sungjong. I was seventeen when I became a Guardian. It was so surreal. It was like any other morning. I woke up and got ready for school. I ate the breakfast my mom prepared for me. I said goodbye to my family. It was the last time I would be doing any of those things because the moment I stepped over the threshold of the door, I was already in Paradise. I don’t know how it happened, it’s like I was spirited away, like a gust of wind blew me away and I was there. I was the last one to arrive, the rest of the hyungs were already there and they were already getting into fights. We were confused and panicked. None of us knew why we were there and how we even got there in the first place. Fingers were pointed and one punch was all it took for the fight to break out.”

“That was the first night we spent together as the Guardians, beating the crap out of each other. You know how the saying goes, best friends are formed through fights. Maybe the Boss thought it would be a good idea for us to get acquainted with each other since we would be spending the rest of our lives together. He appeared the next day after we woke up and let us know what had happened. Of course, that didn’t go down so well with us. We didn’t appreciate being whisked away from our families and our lives just so we could fulfill some job, even if it was for God. We demanded to be sent back but He told us it was already too late, that we’ve been written out of the history books. We didn't exist in the Mortal World anymore. It was heartbreaking when I walked past my mother and she didn’t even spare a glance at me.”

“That broke us. We gave in and took up the role of the Guardians. It was hard at first, we kept messing up and somebody always got hurt. We were too kind to the dead. We stopped caring after one of the more violent ones almost killed Dongwoo hyung. He was trying to help her onto her feet when she attacked him. She tried to punch a hole through his chest, right where his heart was but her mind was already lost and she missed by a few inches. We may be immortal but that doesn’t stop us from feeling pain. Dongwoo hyung was bedridden for days.”

“But I don’t understand, why did Dongwoo claim that he didn’t know how you guys came to be when you can remember so clearly? He was clueless.”

Sungjong smiled, his eyes sorrowful. “Our memories, they’re disappearing.”

“What?”

“They’re fading, slowly but surely. We’re being erased from our subconscious. Sunggyu hyung was the first to forget. Then it was Dongwoo hyung followed by Woohyun hyung. The only ones who still have any trace of who we once were are Myungsoo hyung and I. But even his memories are fading, he told me the other day that they were blurring with each other and he was experiencing blanks in his memory. It’s only a matter of time before his memory is wiped clean and he forgets completely. It’s the same for me. I can already feel the memories getting blurry, the details disappearing. I’m going to forget soon and there will be nothing left of Kim Sunggyu, Jang Dongwoo, Nam Woohyun, Lee Howon, Lee Sungyeol, Kim Myungsoo and Lee Sungjong.”

“That’s horrible.”

“It’s actually a blessing in disguise. With our memories gone, we can finally stop worrying about our families. Just like how they forgot us, the ones who forgot, they became happier, no longer burdened by the guilt they felt towards their family. It’s not easy caring for someone who doesn’t even know you exist for thousands of years. It kills you on the inside, one agonizing stab at a time. It’s the reason why I’m glad for the ones that forgot. Sure, they wonder how they came to be but I think it’s a small price to pay in exchange for some peace of mind.”

“It might be selfish of me to think like this. But I’m grateful that God chose the seven of us to become the Guardians. After spending most of my lifetime with them, I can’t imagine what it would be like if we were missing even one member. It wouldn’t be the same. It’s hard being a Guardian but it’s fine if I have the rest of the hyungs with me.”

Tears were pooling in Sungjong’s eyes again. I looked away to give him some privacy. The sun was setting in the distance. The giant red orb gave off rays that stained everything it touched with an orange glow as it slowly sank down, giving the illusion that it was being swallowed by the ground.

“It’s beautiful,” Sungjong whispered quietly. His voice was low and steady, not a trace of a tremble.

“It is,” I patted his head, signaling for him to sit up. I stood up and stretched the kinks out of my joints before extending a hand towards him. I smiled as he took my hand and pulled himself up. He returned my smile, his eyes puffy with only a hint of red.

“Swear to keep our secrets safe?” He smirked.

“Cross my heart and swear to die,” I drew a cross shape above my left chest and grinned. Sungjong rolled his eyes and scoffed at my tasteless joke.

“I don't think that that’s appropriate for both you and me.”

“Can’t help that you’re immortal and I’m going to die in a few days. And it’s just a figure of speech.” I kissed my pinky and held it out to him. He looked at me quizzically but mimicked my actions, kissing his pinky before linking it with my own.

I bounced our linked hands and recited the same line I did with Mija yesterday.

“My special brand of making a promise. It’s unbreakable. Come on. Time for you to meet my daughter.”

∞

Sungjong got along with Mija like a house on fire. They bonded the moment they met that left me shaking my head in disbelief. I even suspected she liked him more than her dear Sungyeol oppa. Maybe it was the way Sungjong was like a big kid himself, or the way my daughter was so easily captured by a beautiful face. I really need to talk to her about this soon. I wouldn’t want her to be falling into the wrong arms when she grows up later.

“Noona, your daughter is adorable. She looks just like you,” Sungjong squeezed Mija’s cheeks, earning a dissatisfied moan from her.

“Really? I’ve been told she looks exactly like her father most of the time, only her eyes resemble me,” I steered the kids along the pavement, taking care not to drop the groceries I held in my other hand.

“You mean your ex-husband?” I nodded.

“Appa is the most handsome!” Mija grinned devilishly, becoming more excited at the mention of her father. I eyed her bemusedly. Mija was also hopelessly in love with her father. Distance was nothing compared to the affection they shared between them.

“Even more than Sungyeol oppa?” I asked her jokingly. She fell silent and thought hard and long, clearly having a hard time deciding.

“Appa is better,” she finally decided. I ruffled her hair, pleased by her decision. Sungjong clutched at his stomach, roaring with laughter, not quite believing that Sungyeol was just rejected by a five year old.

∞

Dinner was a chaotic event as the two kids attempted to make something out of the groceries I bought. I could only watched on in amusement as they experimented with everything, stepping in every now and then when their backs were turn to try to salvage what was left so we wouldn’t have to go hungry later. They were completely clueless to the fact that I had a hand in most of the dishes they came up with and congratulated themselves heartily after dinner was served and there was nothing entirely inedible or burnt.

Mija fell asleep at the table, exhausted from the excitement in the kitchen, her spoon clattering noisily to the countertop as it slipped from her fingers. I left Sungjong to do the dishes, with him claiming he was used to it being the youngest among the hyungs, and carried Mija up to her bedroom. I laid her down on the bed gently, pulling her blanket over her and kissing her forehead.

“Goodnight Mija. I love you.”

“Love you too, umma,” she mumbled sleepily. I moved her hair away from her face fondly before leaving the room.

Sungjong had told me to meet up with him in my room, he needed to set up the portal so we could get back to Paradise. I skipped downstairs and rummaged through the grocery bag, grabbing what I was looking for before going to my room. Sungjong had his white bear, which he aptly named Mr Bear, tucked under his arm as he waited for me, watching the dark portal swirl and crackle noisily.

“Here, this is for you,” I stuffed the large bag of lemon candies into his arms. He eyed me curiously, clutching the bag of sweets close to his chest.

“Your hyungs are planning to steal those chocolate coins from your food stash,” I shrugged. “You should find a new place to store your food.”

Sungjong surprised me when his lips stretched out into a mischievous grin. His bright eyes glinted as he snickered. “I moved my food stash ages ago. The one they’ve been stealing from only contains expired food.”

“And they never notice this, how?”

“The hyungs are not too bright when food enters the equation.”

“Ah. That makes perfect sense,” I grinned along with him and we shared a high five.

“As a reward for letting me know about my bad hyungs, I’ll let you know where my food stash is,” he leant in and cupped his hand over his mouth, whispering into my ear quickly. I burst out laughing as he disclosed the location of his food stash to me, amazed by the sheer simplicity of it.

“You’re a genius, Sungjong.”

“You have permission to worship me.”