Final Paradise

I woke up in an unfamiliar room. After taking in the pink wallpaper and furniture that was also in the same colour, I remembered why I wasn’t back in my room in Paradise. Mija shifted against me, her small hands somehow finding its way onto the front of my shirt during the time we slept. I eased the fabric of my shirt out of her little fists and got off the bed, doing my best to be as gentle as possible so I didn’t wake her up. She let out a small sigh before rolling onto her side, facing away from me.

I glanced at the clock that sat on Mija’s dresser. We had somehow slept till it was half past one in the afternoon. The green numbers glowed at me mockingly, as if gloating that I was powerless to change my inevitable fate. I stared at it before turning away, unable to look any longer and exited Mija’s room. I padded towards my bedroom, getting myself ready. I wondered if I needed to be dressed in the same outfit as that fateful day as I showered. My question was answered the moment I pulled open my closet doors. God had transported every single article of clothing I owned to Paradise seven days ago, everything but for a specific set of clothes that lay neatly folded at the bottom of my closet.

A white button down shirt and a pair of navy skinny jeans.

I dressed quickly and headed downstairs. I prepared a simple lunch for Mija before I scribbled a note to her that I’ll be going out. My hands were heavy as I wrote ‘I love you’ and signed my name, tossing the pen aside after I was done. Grabbing my keys and my purse, I headed towards the door, smiling when I noticed my boots from yesterday was missing, replaced by a pair of black heels.

Everything was unfolding perfectly.

I slipped into them and took one last look at the house. My home for the last five years I’ve lived, a multitude of memories crashed onto me and I quickly shut the door, locking it before it overwhelmed me completely. I checked my watch. it was almost three o’clock. I hurried along, managing to catch the bus before it left. I slipped into an empty seat, leaning my head on the window as I waited for the bus to bring me to my destination. The sign at the front of the bus flashed 4th Avenue and I got up to exit the bus.

I strolled along slowly. The bus ride had lasted for about an hour. I still had around half an hour left. I spotted a shop that was selling bubble tea and had the sudden urge to drink some. I entered the shop and ordered one. There were a variety of small cakes on the counter. I stared at them before buying a few of them as well. The bubble tea machine malfunctioned before it began working again and I left the shop at 4:29PM. I sipped on my bubble tea, the small box of cake in one hand as I finally reached the pedestrian crossing at the end of the road, the place where it all began.

The scene was an exact copy from that day. A mother and a young child with a red balloon clutched in his hand was standing next to me, an elderly man tapped his cane impatiently as he waited for the pedestrian light to turn green. I stared at the red light blankly, counting down the minutes. A small cry came from next to me. The young boy had accidentally loosened his fingers on the string of his balloon. The red balloon began floating away from him, floating towards the empty road. I blinked and stretched my arm out automatically, my feet stepping off the pavement and into the road as I reached for the rogue balloon. My fingers were millimeters away from the string when a horn blared deafeningly to my left. I closed my eyes and let out one last sigh.

∞

The boys were already waiting for me when I finally made it to Paradise. I was in that same white dress from before and they were dressed in their dark outfits. But their faces were no longer cold, not like the first time. Sunggyu was the one who walked over to me this time.

“Welcome to Paradise,” Sunggyu smiled gently as he extended one hand and helped me up from my fallen position. I stared blankly at him, not quite grasping that I’ve died a second time. I broke out of my stupor and grinned at him, trying to shield my aching heart from his knowing eyes.

“Yeah, nice seeing you guys again,” I joked.

He chuckled and led me over to the other guys. They were all smiling at me gently, as if afraid that one wrong word would break me. I was unfortunately a little stronger than that.

“I’ll do it,” somebody announced loudly from the small group that huddled in the back. The rest of the boys separated, letting Myungsoo step forward, his usually blank eyes burning with determination. I stared at him, startled from his sudden statement, not sure what exactly he was going to do. He walked up towards me and placed his hands gently on my shoulders. The other boys just looked on in silence.

“Hyeri, I’m going to give you a second chance at life.”

∞

“What does he mean by ticket?” I asked confusedly.

We were seated around the tiny coffee table in the common room. The TV was but nobody was watching it and there was this naggy feeling in the back of mind that was telling me to turn it off.

After Myungsoo’s sudden proclamation of giving me a second chance at life, the rest of the boys had tackled him to the ground from behind, squishing him under a mass of fully grown men and possibly squashing him to death. Myungsoo was a little hardier than that though since he threw them off like they were a bag of feathers and quickly began to rummage around his various pockets. The boys tackled him for a second time as I watched on in horror as they wrestled with each other on the carpeted floor. Myungsoo was struggling with Dongwoo and Sunggyu when I finally pulled them apart, slapping all of them on their heads.

“All seven of you are fully grown men! Please act your age!” I exclaimed exasperatedly, rolling my eyes.

That had knocked some sense into them, which leads us to where we are right now, around the little coffee table.

“A ticket to the Mortal World, basically your ticket to a second chance at life,” Sunggyu explained. He pulled a crumpled looking piece of paper out from his pocket and smoothed it carefully on the table.

“Seriously, this is it?” I asked incredulously.

“This is it.”

The ticket looked like any old train ticket would look like, it was a dark orangey yellow colour with thick black letters printed onto the surface. The only thing missing was the date on the ticket.

“The date gets chopped on when we issue the ticket to whoever we’re suppose to give it to,” Hoya explained as if he read my mind.

“So you guys are like…train conductors?”

They nodded in unison.

“Guardians of Paradise definitely sound a lot cooler.”

Hoya, Sungyeol and Sungjong snorted while Dongwoo let out a loud laugh. Sunggyu and Woohyun cracked smiles. Even Myungsoo was smiling a little.

“But if you could issue this tickets, why didn’t you guys just give me one in the first place? I wouldn’t have had to drag you guys around for seven days.” I asked, fiddling with the ticket.

A pregnant pause and I knew something was wrong again.

“Guys?”

It was Woohyun who finally broke the silence.

“Each of us are only allowed to give out one ticket. That’s our limit. After that we’ll…” he let the sentence fade off awkwardly.

“We’ll disappear.” Myungsoo finished off-handedly.

What?

“What do you mean by disappear?” My lips were parched and I could feel my throat closing up.

“We disappear. As in we’re gone for good. We don’t reincarnate into the Mortal World, we don’t get sent to Hell. We just become nothing.”

No.

“It was fate that brought us together. The seven of us. We’re infinite.”

“I would die if any of them left.”

“It’s hard being a Guardian but it’s fine if I have the rest of the hyungs with me.”

“They’re my idiots. ”

“Limbo would be way boring if the others weren’t around.”

“It’s not like I hate it, I’m just happy I don’t have to go through this craziness alone.”

“I love them. They’re my brothers.”

No.

∞

“Hyeri. Open the door. PLEASE?” It’s been hours since the knocking on my door began. They took turns, all seven of them, trying to coax me out of my room.

How could I face them?

It was a die and die situation. If I accept Myungsoo’s ticket and take my chance at living a second life, I’m practically sentencing him to his death. Not even death, I’m sentencing him to something even worse. How will I ever look the other boys in the eyes ever again? How will I face them, when my time comes in the future? Taking away one of them and destroying their little group after all they’ve done for me. I was incapable of it.

But if I don’t take the ticket, I’m leaving Mija all over again. She would have Byunghun but it won’t be the same. I know. I know it all too well. I’ve always known but I was resigned to my fate, ready to accept it, already grateful for being able to spend just a little more time with her. But now, with the ticket coming into the equation, things changed, for better of for worse? I didn’t know.

I wished Myungsoo hadn’t brought up the idea of the ticket.

The door clicked open. Bolting up instantly, I saw Myungsoo creep in quietly. He locked the door again after closing it and turned his attention to me. I glared at him, not appreciating his little stunt of invading my personal space.

“You would make a wonderful thief.”

“We have a copy of the key to your room. The others were just being courteous by not using it.”

I snorted as he threw me a smile.

“Go away Myungsoo.”

“No.”

“Find someone else to bother.”

“No.”

“I’ll yell .”

“Try me.”

I stared at him incredulously. Sighing in defeat, I threw a pillow at him, which he caught easily. “Just so you know, Sunggyu would probably beat you up if I did yell .” All he did was laugh.

“What do you want from me, Myungsoo?”

“Take the ticket,” he pulled out the orange slip from his pocket and held it out to me. I stared at it like it was some sort of disgusting creature, earning another laugh from him.

“I can’t. You know I can’t,” I tried reasoning with him.

“What about Mija?” No fair. You can’t use that against me.

“She’ll live,” my voice was cracking, the tears I held back for so long threatening to fall. I was so tired, so tired of locking them away, stifling my frustrations, knowing how powerless I was and how useless it would be for me to cry for a fate that was unchangeable.

A sudden warmth. I was in Myungsoo’s arms. His embrace was warm, just like him. He still smelled like detergent and rain. I finally identified what scent it was after running in the rain with him that day. He wrapped his arms around me, bringing me close. I placed my hands on his back, feeling the tears roll down my face uncontrollably. I cried for what felt like hours. I cried till there were no more tears left in me. My eyes were dry but the pain in my heart was never-ending. Myungsoo just held me, his warmth a comforting presence in my time of pain.

I couldn’t choose. I could never choose.

Luck was never in your favor.

I wanted to laugh at the irony of his words. Even in death, fate mocked me, tormenting me with impossible decisions. Was this my punishment for resisting death when it came to claim me?

Myungsoo became tired after some time. We laid next to each other on the bed, side by side while holding hands. Sleep didn’t come to us that night but I was happy, even if a little, that he was there, holding my hand, as if telling me everything was going to be all right.

He spoke after what seemed forever.

“Accept my ticket, please.”

He held out his ticket.

Who knew a measly piece of paper could bring so much pain?

I made my decision.

I took the ticket from him.

∞

“We’re gonna miss having you around Hyeri ah,” Sunggyu ruffled my hair affectionately.

We were at the train station where I would continue on to my next life. Sungjong and Dongwoo were already bawling their eyes out even before we reached the platform. Sungyeol was standing off to the side, trying to be manly by holding in his tears.

“Hey, watch it!” I swatted at Sunggyu’s hand and tackled him with a hug. “I’m going to miss you too.”

We separated awkwardly with Sunggyu refusing to look me in the eye. Chuckling, I hugged Hoya and thanked him over and over again for his help. He patted my back lightly and waved the thanks away. I gave Sungjong, Dongwoo and a squirming Sungyeol each a kiss on the forehead and a hug. Their moans increased tenfold and I was saved by Woohyun who swooped in and extracted me from the tangle of limbs that tried to stop me from leaving.

I hugged Woohyun and whispered a silent thank you to him. His eyes were b with tears when we separated. Sharing a brief but meaningful look, I kissed his forehead lightly.

Turning to the last person in our little group, I noticed he was wearing his crooked smile again. His smile was sincere and warm and I felt a pang in my heart looking at it. We hugged, with me holding on a little too long. Myungsoo looked a little puzzled when we separated but I just grinned and kissed his cheek, tiptoeing to reach his height.

“Well guys, I guess this is goodbye.”

I was about to board the train when one Sunggyu tackled me from behind. The rest soon followed their leader and I was suffocating in bone-crushing hugs. It took awhile but I managed to release myself from them. Ordering them to behave, I boarded the train, plastering myself against the glass windows to watch them until the very end.

Sunggyu and Woohyun were waving with melancholic smiles, tears streaming down their faces. Hoya was comforting Dongwoo, Sungjong and Sungyeol who looked a lot like blubbering babies by now. Myungsoo was the only one who wasn’t crying, but his eyes were shining as he smiled at me.

My eyes stayed glued to the seven of them until the train began to move. At first they waved frantically at me, laughing and smiling while following the train. The train began to pick up speed and was leaving the platform fast when Woohyun broke into a run to catch up. The others followed in his wake until the platform just broke off into a cliff, forcing them to stop. They jumped and waved until the train disappeared completely from their sights.

After making sure I could no longer see them, I rolled up into a ball and finally let the tears fall.

Goodbye Sunggyu.

Goodbye Dongwoo.

Goodbye Sungyeol.

Goodbye Hoya.

Goodbye Sungjong.

Goodbye Woohyun.

Goodbye Myungsoo.

Goodbye Mija.

A/N: Epilogue will be posted later today along with my final notes/thoughts. Thank you for reading Paradise, all you wonderful people ;~;