~*~

Chapter II

10%

5월 5일

Dongwoo knotted his hands together and tried to take in a relaxing breath.  Myungsoo had passed out sometime during the ride to the hospital.  Even though he was unconsious, blood still trickled out the corner of Myungsoo’s mouth and occasional coughs rocked through Myungsoo’s body.  

The hospital staff took Myungsoo away as soon as they rushed in with Myungsoo on Hoya’s back.  Since then, they were waiting in a private waiting room, dreading the moment that they would need to go outside to find the press waiting for them, but they were looking forward, but dreading at the same time, when they heard what happened to Myungsoo. 

Hyeji, the nurse who took care of Myungsoo most of the time, came into the waiting room.  As an unspoken agreement, Sunggyu stood up to follow Myungsoo’s family and Jungryul to listen to what Hyeji had to say.

Sungjong let out a sigh and stood up.  “I’m going to go get coffee or something,” he muttered.  As always, Hoya stood up to follow Sungjong, his arm looping around his shoulders as they walked away. 

Dongwoo sighed, stretching his arms over his head.  It had been a long day, a long six months, and just as Dongwoo thought it was going to be over soon, Myungsoo was back here at the hospital. 

Suddenly, a thought occurred to him and Dongwoo pulled out his phone, typing in ‘lung cancer’ into the search bar.  

Three words stood out at him. 

10% survival rate. 

Those three words sent him bolting for the bathroom.

“Dongwoo!”

The three words seemed to taunt him as the remains of his lunch ended up in the toilet. 

10% survival rate. 

His stomach seemed to want to ditch his body as he retched again. 

“Hyung…”

He looked up with watery eyes as a warm hand rubbed his back.  Sungyeol was beside him, gently rubbing circles on his back.  The action reminded Dongwoo of how Sungyeol would take care of Myungsoo, how he would gently rub his back as his best friend vomited whatever little contents were in his stomach when the chemo got the better of Myungsoo.  Myungsoo was okay with the needles that the docotrs would stick into him, drawing blood or giving him more drugs.  Sunggyu and Sungjong would always wince whenever they saw Myungsoo getting another needle or having blood drawn, but Sungyeol and Dongwoo were the most squeamish with needles or anything medical.  Even if he was squeamish with needles, Sungyeol always sat beside his best friend, holding his hand as he get a needle, rubbing his back when he threw up, gently singing him to sleep. 

This time, he knelt beside Dongwoo in the small bathroom stall as Dongwoo couldn't help, but throw up.  

“What is it, hyung?” Sungyeol asked.

He wordlessly showed Sungyeol his phone and a look of understanding washed over Sungyeol’s face.  He flushed the toilet to get rid of the vile smell of vomit before leaning against the wall of the stall. 

“I know,” he said quietly, looking down at his hands.  “I… looked it up the day that Myungsoo was diagnosed.”

“It’s only 10% survival rate,” Dongwoo whispered horasely.  “Ten percent!  The other 90% di-”

Sungyeol cut him off with a sharp glance filled with tears.  “I know, hyung.  I… didn’t...”  He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.  “Myungsoo… he’s my best friend,” he whispered.  “I…”

Dongwoo nodded, his eyes filled with tears.  “He’s going to go, isn’t he?” he whispered, knowing that Sungyeol had already come to agreement with the dark truth. 

Slowly, Sungyeol nodded, tracing patterns on his jeans.  “I don’t want him to,” he whispered.  “But as his best friend, I can’t hold onto him if he needs to go.”

“He isn’t.”

They both looked up as a third voice joined their conversation.  Sungjong stood in the entrance of the cubicle, his hands crossed across his chest firmly, a strange fire in his eyes. 

“He isn’t going to go,” Sungjong repeated.  “He needs to stay here.  He needs to stay here, he promised me that he wouldn’t go.”

“Jjongie… you need to think realistically,” Sungyeol said quietly.  “Myungsoo’s in a lot of pain right now and if he can’t hold on any longer, we need to let him go.”

“You’re talking as though he’s already dead,” Sungjong hissed.  “He isn’t dead.  He won’t die.  Do you hear me?  He’s not going to die.”

Dongwoo reached out for the youngest, but Sungjong jerked away, glaring at Dongwoo.  “Don’t you dare cry until it’s all over.  Because when it’s over, Myungsoo-hyung is still going to be alive.  He’s going to be alive.  He’s going to up on stage with us once more, singing with us.”

~*~

“So this is where all of you guys went.”

When the three of them in the bathroom stall looked up, Woohyun, Sunggyu and Hoya were crowding in the door of the cubicle. 

“Hey, you’re late for the party,” Sungyeol joked, scooting over so that Woohyun had enough room to squeeze down next to him.  

“What did Hyeji say?” Sungjong asked Sunggyu. 

Sunggyu sighed, running a hand through his hair.  “She told us that the Dr. Song said that he can make it.  She took Myungsoo’s family to talk to Dr. Song, but she told me a few details.  Noona started saying something that didn’t make much sense to me, but she said that he’s going to be okay.”

“That’s what they said last time,” Hoya said bitterly. 

“Lee Howon, don’t say that,” Sunggyu commanded sharply. 

“Well they did,” Hoya said defensively.  “They said that he’d be okay, that’s why he was with us today.”

Sunggyu made a gesture as if he was going to punch Hoya, which if they were in the dorms, he would’ve most definitely would’ve punched him, but for now, all he did was glare at him.  “Lee Howon, don’t talk like that.”

“It’s true, Myungsoo must hae been over-stressed from being up all day and doing everything that we were doing.”

“So, you’re saying it’s our fault?” Sunggyu snapped back. 

“No, or yes, maybe, I’m not sure.”  Hoya threw his hands up in the air.  “If anything, it’s the doctor’s fault.”

Sunggyu’s eyes flared.  “Everything that Dr. Song is doing right now is saving Myungsoo, that’s all he has been doing since the beginning.  The doctors are going to save Myungsoo and we can’t blame them.”

“Guys, shut up,” Woohyun yelled.  “It’s not the doctor’s fault and it’s certainally not our fault.  There’s no one to blame for this.  If anything, we need to be thanking the doctors, because Myungsoo was having fun, he’s so happy when he’s out of the hospital, I don’t think that even this ruined this for him.” 

Sungyeol smiled, a nostalgic smile spreading over his lips.  “He was really happy even when Sunggyu-hyung was dragging him through the building. He might have been a bit less than happy when that was happening, but over all, he was really happy.”

Sungjong smiled too, standing up to move next to Hoya.  “I was really happy too, I was having a lot of fun.”

“Me too,” Dongwoo said quietly. 

Sunggyu nodded in agreement.  “Let’s get out of here, it smells.”

The six of them headed out of the room.  If it was their last day together with the seven members of Infinite, at least it was a happy day. 

~*~

Myungsoo was drifting in and out of awarness, coming to awareness when a nurse was putting an IV in his hand or when Dr. Song was shining a bright light in his eyes.  Even through the darkness, he felt his mother’s hand on his cheek and he knew he had to wake up.   

“…more dangerous than we first expected.  The treatment that we put Myungsoo on wasn’t enough to help him fully recover.”

Myungsoo heard the voices echoing in his head.  He was awake but he wasn’t ready to wake up right then.  Without opening his eyes or giving any sign that he was awake, Myungsoo listened in on the conversation going on around him. 

“There is another alternative treatment,” Dr. Song was saying.  “It’s called pneumonectomy, this is where we take Myungsoo into surgery and remove his right lung where the tumor is.” 

“Wouldn’t that be the best?” Myungsoo’s father asked.  “You didn’t mention this to us earlier.”

“I talked about this option with Myungsoo when I first diagnosed him.  Myungsoo refused because after having a pneumonectomy it’s risky for atheletes to return to their carrer.  With Myungsoo being a singer and actor, I’m not sure if returning to being an idol would be a very safe choice.”

“All Myungsoo wants is to get back to being an idol… That’s all my son wants, he just wants to keep on singing and go back to the life he dreams of.”

“I know that and I promised Myungsoo that I would do anything to help him return to Infinite.  I asked my colleages and they said that if we put Myungsoo on a different type of chemotherapy, he can be well enough to return to Infinite, but he would have to return to the hospital every week for the treatment.  On the other hand, if Myungsoo takes the chemo treatment, there will be a low chance for a full recovery, Myungsoo will live for five to seven more years as a healthy man, but after that, the cancer symptoms will return.  On the other hand, if Myungsoo gets the pneumonectomy, the symptoms won’t return and he can live as normally as he did before, he will live a long and happy life.”    

Myungsoo’s heart was pounding as he learned that he could be fine, he could be Myungsoo again… He could be Infinite again…

“So he’ll be able to continue with Infinite if he has a pneumonectomy?”

“Well… yes, but-“

“I’ll take it.”  Myungsoo opened his eyes as he spoke.  His parents and his doctor looked down at him surprised that he was awake.

“Myungsoo?” Dr. Song asked confused. 

“I’ll take the pneumonectomy,” Myungsoo said and struggled to sit up in the bed.  “I don’t want to keep on living with the death threat.  I want to be Myungsoo again without the cancer.  I want to be Infinite’s L that was before.  If I take the chemo, I’ll just be back here in a few years, I don’t want that.” 

He looked over at Dr. Song straight in the eye with so much force that Dr. Song that it made his gaze flatter at the conviction in Myungsoo's.  “I know I should listen to you, but I need to take this," Myungsoo said.  "I don’t care about the risks and the dangers of having a pneumonectomy.  I need to do this.  

“I need to return to Infinite.”

~*~

Myungsoo was dozing off as he heard hushed voices outside of his room, steadily getting louder.

“Is he awake?”

“No, he’s sleeping, so hush!”

“Go inside, I don’t want to stand out here forever.”

“Are we going to stay out here in the hall or are we going to go in?”

“Stop being so loud or else you’ll wake him up.”

 “He’s sleeping so be quiet or else you’ll wake him.”

“Even if there was an earthquake, Myungsoo would still be sleeping!”

“If there was a bomb, he would still be sleeping.”

“If we have to go to Busan at five in the morning, there’s no way that Myungsoo will wake up.”

Myungsoo started laughing, startling the others as he opened his eyes.  “Hey, guys,” he said, stretching his hands over his head. 

“How long have you been awake?” Sungyeol asked as everyone settled down around the room. 

“I wasn’t really sleeping in the first place,” Myungsoo explained, sitting up in his bed. 

“You feeling okay?  If you need to sleep we can leave,” Sunggyu offered. 

Myungsoo quickly shook his head.  “Don’t.  I want to apologize first.”

“What for?” Woohyun asked.  “You don’t need to apologize to us.”

“I scared all of you,” Myungsoo said with an apologetic smile.  “Don’t try to deny it, I scared all of you. “

“Well, we were scared, but it’s not your fault,” Hoya said gently.  “It’s definitely not your fault.”

“But when I saw all of your faces back at the practice studio… it looked like… that time that Dongwoo-hyung collasped during practices ten times over.”

“Hyung, don’t you remember what happened after that?” Sungjong asked.  “We got the rest of the day off and got to eat ice cream and fried chicken after that.  Even bad things come out of good things.”

Myungsoo tried to smile as he remembered that day, a little while before their world tour.  All of them were really frightened and surprised when Dongwoo suddenly fell down in the middle of their practice, but luckily, Dongwoo soon woke up after that, feeling bad that he had scared the others.  Fortunetly, Dongmin decided that they needed a break, especially after all that preperation, so they spent the rest of the day playing and relaxing before going on their world tour. 

“But…”

“Myungsoo.  Really, it’s okay,” Hoya said.  “We wouldn’t change anything.”

Myungsoo gave them a weak smile.  “I… just… hate to see you guys like this.”

“We hate to see you like this too,” Dongwoo said.  “So get better soon, okay, Myungsoo?  Try not to make us worry too much.”

With a laugh, Myungsoo smiled and sat up higher on the bed.  “I’ll try my best,” he said with a half bow.  “Sungyeol, what’s on TV right now?”

For the next few hours, they watched meaningless dramas and TV shows, making stupid commentary about little things that didn’t matter to anyone except for them. 

In the middle of one of Sungyeol’s very stupid jokes, Dongwoo was laughing so hard that he was nearly falling of his chair, while the rest of them were trying to control their laughter as well, someone knocked on the door.  Sungjong stood up to open the door as the other six continued to joke around.  Suddenly, Sungjong let out a little shriek, making the others look over at him, and bowed, greeting, “Hello, CEO-nim!”

~*~

Lee Jungyeop was the CEO of Woollim Entertainment.  He was really proud of his company.  Woollim was never the biggest or the most flashy, but it was a good company. 

In 2003, Woollim Entertainment started its journey with Epik High and not much behind them except for a lot of dreams.  In 2006, Nell signed on with Woollim, growing their little family bit by bit. 

A few years later, Jungyeop and the other executives decided to bring in another group and they held auditions.  Nell’s manager called Jungyeop one day and told him that he found their first trainee; a waiter at a resturant named Kim Sunggyu.  That was the start of the first Woollim Boy Group. During the first auditions, Woohyun and Dongwoo were brought in with a group of maybe 15 other trainees.  A few months later, at another audition, Jungyeop selected two more trainees: Lee Howon and Lee Soojung.  Even though he wasn’t planning for a girl group any time soon, he knew that he couldn’t loose someone as talented as Soojung. 

While Jungyeop was looking around Seoul, he found a high school boy by the name of Kim Myungsoo and that completed the first five members of the new boy group. 

After training the five boys, Jungyeop decided to bring in two more boys.  He found Lee Sungjong through another round of auditions and immediately brought in the flowery high school boy.  When Jungyeop met Lee Sungyeol, he thought he was intelligent and bright, but after having him added to the group, he realized that this Lee Sungyeol was more, (but less intelligent) than he first thought. 

It was nerve wracking as Infinite started their career, it was a rocky start, but eventually, they made it and Infinite became more than Jungyeop had thought they would be in the beginning. 

Since 2010, Woollim debuted Jung Soryong and Daeryong under the name Tasty and their long project of the Woollim Girls, Lee Soojung, Yoo Jiae, Seo Jisoo, Lee Mijoo, Kim Jiyeon, Park Myungeun, Ryu Soojung and Jung Yejin. 

The Woollim family grew and it was comforting to know that the futures of his artists were safe. 

More recently, after Infinite’s last comeback and Myungsoo’s diagnosis, everything seemed to change.  Woollim’s biggest asset was on hiatus as Myungsoo fought his battle that even his close brothers, Infinite, couldn’t help fight for him. 

That day after Infinite’s meeting with him, Jungyeop was sitting in the Woollim Offices, going over plans for Infinite’s new comeback, when his phone rang. 

“Hello, Lee Jungyeop speaking.”

“Jungyeop-ssi, it’s Dongmin.”

“Oh, yes, what can I do for you today?”

“I have some bad news,” Dongmin said.  “When… Infinite was practice, Myungsoo was waiting with them, but Myungsoo started to throw up blood again.”

“What?” Jungyeop nearly yelled.  “Is he okay?”

“Yes, he’s okay, Dr. Song managed to stop the bleeding and he’s resting with the other boys right now.” 

Jungyeop closed his eyes tightly, trying to calm down his racing heartbeat.  “He’s at Seoul University Hospital?”

“Ye- wait, CEO-nim!  You don’t need to come down here for Myungsoo,” Dongmin rushed, trying to save him the trip downtown. 

“Well, see you soon,” Jungyeop said, hanging up as he headed out of the office. 

After a quick car ride, Jungyeop was walking down the halls of the hospital, looking around for Myungsoo’s room.  In the end, it wasn’t hard to find, he only had to follow the sounds of Infinite’s laughter echoing through the halls. 

Jungyeop knocked on the door and waited until Sungjong opened the door.  He would’ve probably laughed at Sungjong’s expression if it was any other time.  Sungjong nearly shrieked in surprise, his eyes shooting open in surprise.  “Hello, CEO-nim!” he said, nearly falling over in his haste to politely bow to greet him. 

Beyond Sungjong, in the room, the other members were standing up to greet him too.  “Hello!” Sunggyu said with a quick polite bow.  “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to check on Myungsoo if he was okay,” Jungyeop said.

Myungsoo gave him a slightly confused smile.  “I’m doing just fine now,” he said with a nod.  “But can I talk to you privately for a bit?”

“Of course,” Jungyeop said.  “What about?”

“Ummm,” Myungsoo hesitated, looking around the room at the other members in the room. 

Sungyeol picked up on Myungsoo’s hesitation and stood up.  “Coffee anyone?”

“Sounds good,” Hoya said, standing up with him. 

“Why do you want coffee?” Dongwoo asked, rather innocently, not quite picking up on what Sungyeol was trying to do. 

“Well, you want coffee now,” Sungjong said, pulling him out of his chair and following the other members out of the room. 

Myungsoo laughed at their awkward depature, but the smile faded off his lips slowly. 

“What was that you wanted to tell me?” Jungyeop asked. 

He looked like he was trying to still decide on something.  “Ummm… CEO-nim…” he said quietly.  “I’ve been thinking for a long time and… Iwantuchernitacontrat.”

“Don’t mumble, Myungsoo, it’ll become a habbit and then when you’re in front of the camera, you’ll mumble.”

Myungsoo laughed and gave him a small smile.  “Sorry,” he said, looking down at his hands.  Taking in a deep breath, Myungsoo looked back up and spoke clearly, “I want to terminate my contract.”

Jungyeop blinked, surprised at Myungsoo’s sudden announcment.  “What?”

“I want to terminate my contract with Infinite,” Myungsoo said, his eyes never leaving Jungyeop’s.  “I can’t be in the hospital and be part of Infinite at the same time.  If I have cancer, I don’t feel like I will ever be ready to come back to Infinite.  I don’t want the others to feel burdened if I die.  They’re going to be six if I pass away, they need to know that.” 

“Are you sure?”

With a set expression, Myungsoo nodded.  “I’ve been thinking about this for a little while,” Myungsoo said.  “Coming back to the hospital like this was what made this decision final for me.”

“Don’t you think that you’re jumping ahead of yourself?” Jungyeop asked. 

Myungsoo shook his head.  “I know this is what I want to do right now,” Myungsoo said.  “Last time I felt like I needed to quit, the others didn’t let me and just stayed beside me and that was enough to keep me here, because when they smiled at me, I knew that they cared for me and they wanted to stay by my side.  Now, even when they smile at me, it feels so painful to be beside them.”

Jungyeop studied Myungsoo.  The young boy that he had picked at the auditions was long gone instead, he saw a young man that seemed nearly like a stranger to him.  “Myungsoo,” he said gently.  “I’ve known you for six years now, you and the other members are like sons to me.”

Myungsoo nodded.  “I know, you’re like our second dad too…”

“So before I accept your resignation, I want you to think about it for a little bit longer.  I don’t care if you feel if you've thought about it too much already, because I’m going to make you think about it for a bit longer, okay?” 

Myungsoo frowned, looking down at the sheets on his bed.  “I’m sorry,” he said.  “I don’t think that I can continue with Infinite even if I recover.”  

Jungyeop sighed.  “Myungsoo, Infinite are your brothers, they love you so much.  You shouldn’t let go of brothers who are like that.”

“I know,” Myungsoo said quietly.  “But I need to.”

Jungyeop smiled and patted Myungsoo’s leg through the blankets.  “Keep on thinking about it.  If your decision is the same in a couple of days, call me and I’ll make arrangements.”

“Thank you,” Myungsoo said quietly.  “Not only for this, but thank you for everything.”

~*~

5월 10일

“Myungsoo wants to quit Infinite.”

“WHAT?”

Woohyun yelled that one word too loudly so that Sungjong punched his arm hard.

But he couldn’t help it.

Infinite, minus Myungsoo of course, was called to Jungyeop’s office for a meeting, but none of them had imagined it was about that.

“He wants to quit Infinite?” Dongwoo asked, his eyes wide with disbelief.

Jungyeop nodded again.

“Why?” Sungyeol asked.

“When Myungsoo asked if he could speak to me privately at the hospital the other day, he asked me if he could terminate his contract.  He gave me his reasons and it’s his choice to leave,” he said.

“This can’t be happening,” Woohyun murmered.  “This can’t be happening.”

“Woohyun, don’t worry, there are a lot of groups that lost a member or two and they’re fine.”

Woohyun opened and closed mouth a couple of times, muttering something a long the lines of that wasn’t what he meant.  Jungyeop was right, there were groups that came back from losing members, there were hardly any groups that were still their original group that they started with.  But Woohyun wasn’t talking about that side of loosing Myungsoo. 

“What’s going to happen to us?” Sungjong asked.

“As the seven of you, you can make a decision, stay as a seven member group by recruiting another trainee, or you can be six member group, stay as the original Infinite, minus Myungsoo.  It’s up to you, you can decide.”

None of them said anything, all of them still not believing that Myungsoo had actually said that.

“All of you are strong,” Jungyeop continued.  “You have a strong leader, beautiful vocals and strong minds and hearts.  You could make it as six if you don’t want a new member.

“But you got to remember, you aren’t the only ones that have the dreams of being a idol too, there are other trainees that want a chance too, being in Infinite can help them a lot.

“I don’t need an answer right now, but I would like it by the end of the month,” Jungyeop concluded. “You are dismissed.”

They all nodded and stood up, bowing to Jungyeop.  Woohyun felt like by leaving the meeting, it would change Infinite forever.  Sungyeol looked crushed at the thought of having a pernament Infinite without Myungsoo.  They had been preparing themselves for the idea of one comeback without Myungsoo, but they never thought that one comeback would become forever. 

“You know…” Jungyeop suddenly called out as they started to leave the office. “Infinite has done well as seven… You have done well as Kim Sunggyu, the leader, Jang Dongwoo, the rapper, Nam Woohyun, the main vocalist, Hoya, the dancer, Lee Sungyeol, the choding, Lee Sungjong, the maknae and of course, L, the visual.

“Infinite’s not Infinite without the seven with all seven, that includes Myungsoo.

“There’s a third option, maybe you can convince him to stay.”

Woohyun smiled softly.  Despite everything that his CEO had said before, he really just wanted Myungsoo to stay too.

Sungyeol grinned, a fire back in his eyes.  “You don’t need to wait a month for our answer.  Our answer is already done.

“We’re bringing Myungsoo back.” 

Hey guys~ I meant to update last Sunday, but the chapter was unedited and I went shopping and got a big headache (and cute outfits) so I ended up not updating, sorry, I'm going to try to update SoG on Sunday again, but I'm thinking I might not get there... 

I asked last time if you guys liked long chapter so or short chapters and you all said long, so long chapter.  But I think I over did the definition of long...  I really don't know how it became this long, this chapter grew its own head.  xD  

This chapter (and chapter II in SoG) is the last of the introduction chapters and so we are headed into uncharted lands for the next chapters!  I hope you're enjoying this story and please upvote and subscribe and comment and go on a walk outside because walks are good for you, unless it's -29c where you live then stay inside.  Have a wonderful day, everyone!  

(Oh, and I might be editing Down the Road tomorrow, like combining chapters and adding little bits in, so if DtR shrinks a few chapters, it's because I smushed some chapters together.  Thank you!  Byebye now~)