Siwon is at a loss. The past 10 years he had deliberately not allow himself to examine his feelings. Right now, he certainly haven’t a clue what he should be feeling. Yet the sight of the tip of Kyuhyun’s nose turning red, and his big doe eyes cloudy with tears and hearing him sob, witnessing the blood soaked bandages around the too thin torso and knowing what the other had been through, Siwon felt it is only right to gather the smaller person gently into his arms.

Any stranger with a heart would, right?

“It’s okay, you’re okay now.” Siwon mutters the mantra over and over again, to himself as much as to Kyuhyun. He held the broken body and breathed him in deeply. The last time he had seen Kyuhyun the doctor in him had convinced that his patient would lose his life or at least his mind. They only pull apart when the ward nurse came for her rounds.

Siwon watched silently from the side as Kyuhyun answered his name confidently but faltered on the date. The nurse calmly assured the confused patient.

“Do you need anything else?” The nurse asks before leaving.

“Water, please.” Kyuhyun requested despite the full jug sitting on the table next to him. As Siwon watched the nurse hold the cup steady for Kyuhyun, he realised the extent of Kyuhyun’s frailness.

“My hands, they are still a bit numb. I keep dropping things.” Kyuhyun explains sheepishly.

“You will recover soon.” Siwon replied.

“Everyone says that.”

“So how are you feeling?’ Siwon asks when they are alone again.

“Fin-fine…” Kyuhyun replied with a nervous dart of his eye.

“No, how are you really?” Siwon presses on gently.

“I’m scared.” Kyuhyun admits after a brief struggle. He had strove to be a model patient when his parents were around but somehow he knew Siwon will understand. “I don’t really know how I ended up here.”

“Has anyone told you what happened?”

“I don’t know….I’m so confused!” Kyuhyun flashed terror-filled eyes at his ex-husband. “It felt like I missed a great lot, but I don’t know what. And I don’t even know what day is today till someone told me.”

The professional demeanor in Siwon jumped right back as he comforts the visibly shaken boy. “It’s normal for you to feel like this. You’d been really ill. The fact that we can have this conversation now shows that you are better than we expected.”

“I guess so….” Kyuhyun mumbled tiredly as he lay back against his pillows and closed his eyes briefly for a rest.

“Do you want me to fill you in?” Siwon offers then saw the light frown bunching up his smooth forehead and he immediately knew what the other was thinking. “I mean the last week, not the last decade!”

It was a relief to see the slight smirk on Kyuhyun’s pale lips. “Yes, please.”

Siwon spent the next hour patiently explaining about how the lone car with its injured passenger had escaped detection till it was almost too late. He had observed quietly hoping to find signs of realization on Kyuhyun but the younger’s face remained blank. Still, he went on doggedly.

Gradually, a glint of recognition flashed in Kyuhyun’s tired eyes.

“I remember wrapping myself in a blanket I kept on the back seat.” Kyuhyun murmurs softly as forgotten scenes rushed in to occupy the black hole in his memory. “The wind was coming through the broken windshield…”

“That was what saved you from freezing to death.” Siwon replied grimly. “It took them 4 hours to find your car only after the chaos of the accident cleared up.”

Images flashed of him resting a dead weight of a head on the mangled steering wheel and twisting his body desperately to reach the fallen mobile phone to no avail. In the end he settled for the blanket and a prayer to be saved before it’s too late.

“You’ve been through a lot but you are doing well now. It will not take too long for you to get back on your feet.” Siwon comforts and receives another of Kyuhyun’s quirky half grin in return.

A stab of pain went through Siwon’s heart as he remembers the past a little too vividly. “Well, I better go back down and work.”

“You’re a consultant?” Kyuhyun asks as Siwon stood up.

“Yes.”

“That has always been your dream.” Kyuhyun said in a soft wistful whisper.

Siwon smiled. He bet his ex-spouse has no idea how many things he had dreamt of having. Wishing the other well again and deliberately avoiding kissing him on the cheek, he made his way towards the door.

“Are you working over the weekend?” Kyuhyun asks abruptly.

“No, but I’ll probably be called in.”

“Well, if you are in it would be nice if you could stop by.” Kyuhyun said, doe eyes wide open with unspoken hope.

Siwon gave a curt nod without assuring the other of anything leaving Kyuhyun lying there watching the door long after. He can’t deny that Siwon’s visit had soothed him but then it also unsettled something within him. Kyuhyun chided himself for asking Siwon to visit him again.

The nurse came in shortly after and found her patient more tired and weaker than usual. If only she knew what a morning he had. As she bustled about the room doing her job, Kyuhyun turned his eyes to the window and stared unseeingly outside.

“Please stay away, Siwon. For your sake, don’t come near me again.” Kyuhyun prayed.

~@~

“Coffee?” Siwon greeted as he enters the room and put down his pager and keys. Kyuhyun’s eyes widen with childish delight at the sight of the gigantic cup of mocha Siwon put down before him. But then he frowned when he caught sight of Siwon peeling a straw from its wrapper.

“I’m doing better now.” Kyuhyun stops the pre-occupied man with a cheerful smile. He waved for the coffee to be brought to him and took a long sip which he took another moment to relish. “And I am not drinking coffee through a straw.” He pouts.

Siwon smiled. He can see that Kyuhyun indeed is looking much better. He was told his patient had been chatting with the nurses and even shuffling the length of the ward a couple of times. Thought he couldn’t possibly guess that he was part of the reason Kyuhyun is feeling better.

“Sungmin told me that you were on duty when I came in.” Kyuhyun attempts weakly. “I’m sorry for that.”

“It’s hardly your fault.” Siwon replied dryly. “Although I rather have met you under better conditions. So how come you were looking for a job in Seoul?”

Kyuhyun had told Siwon that he had 4 interviews lined up when he started recalling things.

“So you are moving back here?”

“Only if I get one of the jobs.”

“I thought you hated Seoul. You said you weren’t happy here.” Siwon questioned before he stopped himself. This is not the time to bring up the past.

“It’s not the place.” Kyuhyun said quietly. Siwon understood then that it was their relationship he hated, or maybe, him.

“I’ve been working as a GP and I wanted a change of scenery.”

“You could have chosen Busan Medical Center.” Siwon reasoned but Kyuhyun just shook his head.

“I wanted a change. I tendered my resignation last month, and I thought I would have no trouble securing a job here but the interviews did not go well.”

“You should have called me for references.” Siwon offers with a half smile.

“I almost wish I did.” Kyuhyun admits shyly. “Maybe then I would not be jobless, homeless and now having a car which is a total wreck.”

“Homeless?” Siwon frowned.

“I put my condo up for sale and it was sold very quickly. Now I am bunking with a friend who is away on holiday. I am house-sitting for her while I am here for my interviews.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about accommodations for the next two weeks either.” Siwon jokes. “And who knows, you may secure a new job by then.”

Kyuhyun fiddles with Siwon’s keyring instead of answering and he saw the big silver K hanging from it.

“Not you.” Siwon remarked easily. “I’ve moved on.”

“I know.” Kyuhyun murmured and put down the bunch of keys. There was an edge in Siwon’s voice. “Siwon, I hate to ask you for a favour. I did ask my mum but she came back with all the wrong things. Do you think you can buy me a phone charger when you can find the time?”

“Sure.” Siwon agreed immediately. “Tomorrow though. I have a list of things to go through today, and a wedding to attend tonight.”

“That’s nice-“ Kyuhyun was starting to say when he caught the grimace on Siwon’s face. “You are not looking forward to it?”

“It’s Kay’s cousin. He’s a real pain in the . Neither of us want to go.”

“Kay?”

“My girlfriend.” Siwon replied.

Of course, The K on his keyring made sense now. Suddenly Kyuhyun is relieved to see Siwon leave.

“I have to go, I have a haircut scheduled at 12.”

“Of course.” Kyuhyun replied with a bright smile. “Thanks for coming to see me….again. I’m feeling so much better.”

“Good.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Siwon frowned. He shouldn’t have said that he will come and visit tomorrow, it will not do to make a habit out of this.

“Sure.” He replied then briefly considers whether he should kiss his ex-spouse on the cheek. “Right, see you later.”

As Siwon made his way back to his office, his phone buzzed and he saw that it is Kay calling him. He chose not to answer.

Kay.

He had deliberately mentioned her name to Kyuhyun. He had done so at the first opportunity he gets. It had to be done, it was only right. It needs to be done to keep himself sane.

~@~

“It’s great to date a doctor!” Kay laughed as they drove away from the arguably most boring wedding reception in the whole universe. “You have a permanent excuse to get away any time we want to.”

“Good, isn’t it?” Siwon smiled.

“So what are we going to do next?” Kay asks curiously.

Siwon stops smiling now. He made a turn in silence. “I’ve to pop into a work gathering.”

“I can come with you and then we can go back to my place.” Kay offers.

“I’ve a lot to do tomorrow.”

“It’s your day off tomorrow.” Kay retorts with a heavy strain in her voice. Siwon admits that Kay has every right to be upset since they have not met the whole week. And coming up next would be the one topic they argue over on regular basis.

“Why don’t you ever take me t