/October 2015/

"I told you, mom. I don't want to go."

"Don't lie, Taemin."

Don't lie, Taemin. He repeated in his head and snorted.

He was checking in at the airport. His mother was there beside him holding his arm and it. His father was sitting down watching them from afar.

He embraced his mother. A part of him didn't want to let go and another part was telling him to pull away and just get out of there. It wasn't like he was going to be away for too long. He'd only be gone for a few months(even less). He could survive without his parents.

He waved at them as he entered the inner part of the airport and soon, his parents weren't visible anymore. He was alone.

He sat beside the window and stared at the plane's left wing. He was leaving Japan and was finally coming back to his motherland after seven years. Long seven years.

"Please, fasten your seatbelt."

He put his headphones on and closed his eyes. His memories of the past were starting to enter his head. He could recall very well the places he used to go to and the people he used to know. He missed everything and everyone. He couldn't deny that but somehow he was scared to come back. The thought of coming back never entered his head because he was afraid. He didn't know what to expect. He didn't know if things had changed. And if there were changes, he didn't know if he was ready to face them.

He opened his eyes. The plane has landed. It seemed really quick. He felt like he just closed his eyes moments ago, but there he was, stepping on the Korean ground. He put the straps of his backpack on his shoulders after he grabbed his suitcase. He lazily pulled it out with him to where everyone was waiting for the new arrivals. He saw two familiar faces. There was joy in their faces, he could see it.

"Mom! Dad!" Those words just easily slid down his tongue. It came out of his mouth so naturally.

He let his headphones rest on his shoulders as he hurriedly strolled towards them dragging his suitcase with him. He smiled and embraced them tightly letting his suitcase go. He missed them. Really, really missed them. He pulled his head away just to look at them. He glanced at the man he had been calling "dad" since he was a toddler. He still looks exactly the same. But his hair has some silver strands. Then at the lady that he considered his mother his entire life. She aged. But she's still beautiful.

If you blend their faces together, the result would be Jinki hyung's face. Why did I realize that just now? While I... He said to himself as he continued staring.

"Your hyung is in Jeju with his friends right now. But he'll be back tomorrow morning." His father said as he started pulling his suitcase. He knew the young man didn't want to ask but was also curious so he just told him.

"Ah, my youngest. How was the plane ride? Was it tiring?" His mother rubbed the side of his arm. Her touch was still so familiar. How that felt really relaxing. He shook his head and smiled at her.

Taemin sat on the backseat. It was an hour car trip from Incheon International Airport to Gyeonggi, their province, but he didn't get bored. He just stared out the window looking at the forgotten sceneries while he listened to his mom and dad's stories. Happy and wonderful stories about their meat business, their little trips to abroad, their life(without him). He knew they were avoiding the sad ones because of him and honestly, he preferred it that way. He didn't want to know what hisparents went through when he left. He was okay knowing that they were okay.

Taemin halted right in front of their house's dark blue gate. He was glad that everything was the same as he last saw it, well, at least, the exterior part of the house. He instantly grinned when he entered the house and nothing had changed. He didn't know whether they let it be that way because of him or not, but it made him feel at home again.

They had lunch and continued their little chat. This time, Taemin was talking. He didn't want his dear parents to think that he wasn't happy to be there because he really was. He was so contented to be with them again. He couldn't ask for more.

So far, he had not regretted coming back but he knew there would be so much more waiting for him there.

<<< 

"Don't wake him up."

"But mom—"

Taemin could hear some whispers. He blinked his eyes for a few times before he fully opened them. The sun rays peeped through the small gaps between the curtains. He then remembered he wasn't in Japan anymore. He remembered he was back home and that he was lying on his old small but oh so cosy bed.

"It probably just shrunk." He kiddingly said to himself and rubbed his eyes before he sat up letting his feet touch the wooden floor. He tried to sense his slippers with his bare feet and after a few seconds, he was finally able to put them on. He stood up and walked out of the room like a zombie. He was still half-asleep.

"Lee Taemin!" He knew that voice. He knew who just called out his name. He raised his head and found a familiar yet not so familiar face. He batted his eyes, rubbed them again and widened them to see clearer.

"Jinki hyung?" He oddly asked.

"Yes, it's me, idiot." Jinki pulled the younger and enclosed him in his arms. Taemin couldn't see his face, but he knew he was smiling. He then slowly raised his right hand and placed it on the elder's back. He didn't know why, but he just it. He didn't want that hug to be over. His older brother still gave the warmest hugs.

"You've changed." Taemin uttered that made Jinki broke their hug and looked at him in disbelief.

"Me? And what about you? I barely recognized you." Jinki tilted his head a little and raised his eyebrows. They both chuckled. Taemin was so scared of changes. He didn't even realize that he had changed as well.

Jinki just hugged Taemin again. And Taemin could get used to that again. At least his hugs were still the same.

"Our family is complete again." Mrs Lee said as she started to shed tears. The sight of her boys, her children embracing just made her so happy that it made her cry. Her husband rubbed her back and tried to stop her from crying and the two boys neared her and did the same.

Complete. That word echoed in Taemin's head. He, too, felt complete. Well, almost. There was still a part of him missing.

They had an abundant breakfast just like what they used to have(the same reason why Jinki was a chubby kid). They were celebrating Taemin's return even if it was only temporary. At least, he was back. Their house felt like a home again.

They all just reminisced the old and good times as they ate. Even Taemin. Because he only had good memories with them on that same varnished table.

[2000]

"No, I don't wanna." Taemin was playing with his firetruck toy on the floor.

"Taem, come on. Be a good boy." Mrs Lee was putting rice in their bowls.

"I'm not hungry." Taemin continued refusing.

"Lee Taemin." Mr Lee tried to scare him with his angry tone and by calling him by his full name.

"No." But Taemin knew his father too well.

"Taemin, come. Sit on my lap. You'd like that, right?" Mrs Lee invited but he shook his head.

"I wanna sit on Jinki hyung's lap!" Taemin pointed at Jinki who had already put a spoonful of rice in his mouth. Taemin stood up and jumped on Jinki's lap. Jinki almost choked. Taemin just opened his mouth widely and waited for his brother to feed him. And so Jinki did.

"You really love your hyung, don't you?" Mr Lee asked his youngest.

"I also love you but I love hyung more." Taemin adjusted a little and sheepishly smiled at Jinki. He smiled too and messed up the little boy's head. Taemin wasn't look away though. Like he was waiting for something from Jinki. He nudged him a little and Jinki chuckled. He knew what the kid wanted.

"I love you too, little brother."

Taemin wrapped his arms around his chubby and cuddly teddybear-like brother. They all laughed.

[2003]

"Have you finished your homework, Taemin?"

"Not yet. I'm waiting for hyung." Taemin was tapping his pencil on the table and was staring at his notes.

"But he's still taking a shower. Finish it up and go to sleep."

"But mommy," Taemin frowned and batted his eyes. That was his way of pleading.

"Jinki, hurry up. Your brother's acting lazy again." Mrs Lee knocked on the bathroom door shaking her head after seeing her younger smiling so evilly. Taemin always got what he wanted.

"Love you, mommy!" He exclaimed when Jinki finally got out of the bathroom.

"Taem, don't be hardheaded. Follow mom's order. Obey her all the time, okay?" Jinki told him as he sat next to his little brother.

"All the time?" Taemin questioned.

"All the time." Jinki nodded.

"Okay! Sorry, mommy. I'll obey you from this day on. All the time!" Taemin apologized to his mom and she simply grinned at him as she washed the dishes. He only listened to Jinki and no one else. Mrs Lee didn't mind. Jinki had always been the best role model to his little brother. So whenever Jinki studied, Taemin would study too and this would result to good school grades. They always did great at school that was why their parents never complained.

[March 2005]

"What? No!" Taemin stumped his feet.

"Hyung, you can't leave. I won't let you!" He grabbed his brother's arm and took a tight grip on it.

"Taemin. I'm just gonna study in Seoul. It's close from here. I'll always come home in the weekends." Jinki put his hand over Taemin clasping hand. He received a scholarship from a prestigious high school in Seoul and he didn't want to miss that opportunity.

"Can't I just come with you?"

"And what? You're gonna leave mom and dad here?"

"But you're leaving them too." Taemin made so much sense that Jinki just glanced at his parents starting to feel indecisive. But both of his parents shook their heads. His mom placed a hand on his shoulder and patted it telling him with her eyes that it was okay.

"Taemin, your brother's just gonna study there. He said he'll always come and visit." Mr Lee spoke up for his son.

"Then, hyung, promise me you'll always come back in the weekends. Promise me you'll call everyday." Taemin put his free hand on the table and raised his baby finger. Jinki did the same and wrapped his to it. Jinki never broke that pinky promise. He always came back and they would always eat happily around that same table. He always called and he would always tell Taemin that he misses him.

Jinki had never broken any of his promises in his entire life because he only made promises he could keep and he only made promises to Taemin.

<<< 

"You'll come back, right?" Mrs Lee caressed his youngest son's left cheek. Jinki was helping his dad put Taemin's things in the back of his car.

"Of course. Every weekend." Taemin nodded and smiled childishly.

"Make sure your hyung comes with you." Mrs Lee whispered but Jinki was able to hear it clearly. He didn't give any reaction though and Taemin was a bit weirded by it. Taemin thought that Jinki still came back often, but then he thought wrong. Does he still...?

"See you soon, mom, dad." Jinki bowed to his parents to show his good manners. Taemin did the same.

Both got into the car. Taemin rolled down the window and waved at his parents as Jinki started the car. Jinki just flashed a small smile before the car started moving. Soon, they were far from their home, out of the province and into the modern city of Seoul. They didn't speak during the entire ride. They just listened to the songs in the radio and let it break the oddness between them. It wasn't the same anymore, that's for sure. But both wanted everything to be back to the way it was before. Back to what they thought was normal for them.

Jinki stopped the car in front of a reddish building. Taemin knew where they were. They were in front of Jinki's old apartment building. Well, it seemed like he was still living there. He never changed his flat. Still at Cheongdam? He looked around and everything looked the same.

Jinki carried Taemin's things for him. Everyone practically did everything for him(everyone still does). They both carefully and slowly went up the stairs, still silence was surrounding them. Taemin stopped when they reached Jinki's floor.

[December 2005]

"Taemin?" Jinki just got to his apartment from his part-time job when he saw his little brother standing in front of the front door wrapped up in thick jacket with a huge rucksack on his back. It looked like he had been waiting for him for a little while.

"Hi, hyung." Taemin greeted his brother with his trembling voice. He was a little scared of what Jinki would say. Jinki had a shocked and displeased face expression. Taemin could tell he was a little mad too. He wasn't exactly sure since he had never seen him mad before.

Jinki grabbed Taemin's arm and pulled him into the flat. Jinki pushed him down the couch. He crossed his arms on his chest and waited for the younger boy to explain himself. Yup. He's mad.

"Hyung, I really miss you. I want to be with you. I want to live with you. Let me stay, please!" Taemin put his hands together and pleaded. He closed his eyes tightly. He was getting scared of the look that Jinki was giving him.

"So you ran away from home? Is that it? Huh?" Jinki was raising his voice. He needed to so Taemin would be afraid and maybe he'd change his mind or he'd change his view of him.

"Jinki hyung, don't be mad at me. Please. And I'm sorry but I'm not leaving. I want to stay here. With you." Taemin was being stubborn. Although he was getting scared, he didn't give up because all he wanted was to be with his brother. It didn't feel the same in their house in the province without Jinki. Sure, he always came back in the weekends, but it was still different. And Taemin didn't want that different atmosphere. He wanted his hyung. So he ran away because he thought that was the only option.

"Taemin..." Jinki rubbed his forehead not knowing what to do with his little brother. How was he going to convince him to go? He sighed really deeply knowing that he just couldn't. There was no way that Taemin would move from his seat.

"I'll let you stay here," Jinki started and Taemin's face just lit up.

"But only for tonight. I'm taking you home tomorrow. That's final." Jinki added before he took his phone from his pocket and dialed his mom's number.

There was relief in Mrs Lee's voice after knowing that Taemin was with Jinki. They were really worried because he was nowhere to be found after school. She looked at his room and saw his closet opened and was half empty. She even called his schoolmates but he wasn't with them. It was a really huge surprise to hear he was in Seoul. She talked to Taemin calmly and told him not to do that again while their father reprimanded him for over 15 minutes that his right ear almost got deaf. He apologized and admitted he did wrong but he already did it and there was nothing more they could do about it.

They slept on Jinki's double bed. Next to each other because Taemin didn't let him sleep on the sofa. He only had one bedroom and one bed and Taemin wanted to sleep next to his brother. He said he missed his smell and his warmth. Taemin was so small and thin yet he was able to hover over Jinki wrapping his arm around Jinki's waist and placing his leg over his. Jinki chuckled without making any sound. He couldn't get angry at Taemin. He always had a way to be adored even after doing something so wrong. Jinki just ran his fingers in Taemin's hair. He knew that would make him sleep even deeper.

The next day, after lunch, they took the bus to Gyeonggi province. It was a Saturday so Jinki didn't have classes. When they arrived at their house, Taemin received another series of scolding from his dad. His mom wasn't speaking and neither was Jinki. Both thought he deserved it. Even he thought so. He was probably crying deep inside. He wasn't sure. He was never a cry-baby. He didn't cry to things like that.

Then he jumped from joy after hearing his parents good news—they were letting him move with Jinki to Seoul. Well, he had to wait for a few more months, till he graduates from grade school. After that naughty act he did, they thought that they should just let him have what he wanted so it wouldn't happen again. He could attend his middle school in Seoul and Jinki would take full responsibility of his little brother. Maybe it was a huge responsibility since he was still young too, he was only turning 16 in a few days, but he was ready for it. He was feeling kinda lonely in the flat. He wouldn't mind having Taemin around. The flat would surely turn upside down but at least it would be full of bliss.

///

"Taem. Taemin." Taemin snapped out when Jinki called his name.

"Come in." Jinki invited him inside the apartment and so he followed.

Jinki was telling him something about the bed but he was too distracted by the flat itself. It was almost identical as he always remembered. There were just small changes that didn't even bother him. He put down his phone and headphones on the couch before stared at the photos on the wall. The same. There was their family picture, a photo of Jinki and him when they were still little and a photo of him when he was a baby(Jinki loved his baby pictures). Then he looked at the shelf. There were a lot of books but there were also picture frames standing. There was another picture of Jinki with him. Then another with Jinki and some guy he didn't know. A stranger to him but not to his older brother. If a picture of that man was framed, it only meant that he was important to Jinki. At least he has made new friends. Then another with him and... her. He froze for a second.

"Are you happy?" Jinki shouted from the bedroom.

"Huh?" Taemin wasn't listening because he was too drawn to the last photo he was looking at. So he shook his head and just went closer to Jinki.

"You'll get the bed all to yourself now. You're not tiny anymore." Jinki joked.

"Where are you going to sleep?" Taemin worriedly asked. He was afraid that he was bothering his brother.

"The sofa-bed. No need to worry. I prepared for this day, Taem." Jinki grinned.

"I'm glad you're back, Taemin." Jinki put his hand over Taemin's shoulder and rubbed it. Taemin lightly nodded and gave him a half smile. I wish I could say the same.

Happy Christmas again everyone!

Here's the first chapter. Hope you liked it. This is really really new to me. I've never written such thing before and the pairings are quite new to me too. Kinda. haha. One pairing is experimental, well, actually both, but whatever. hahahha.

Leave a comment if you can and subscribe! Vote up is okay too. hahah

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