Fruit is Healthy For You, Kids
A short story composed at two in the morning

Sakura-chan's mother was an orange, and her father was a banana.

This made Sakura one of the first inter...um... inter-fruitial produce.

Sakura-chan had the best of both worlds; she inherited her mother's lovely sweet orange taste, but had her father's soft banana skin. Except that it was orange. Because...reasons.

She had the gentle personality of a banana and the kind, approachable aura of an orange. What was better was that she could control both the fiery powers of the oranges and the flirty, alluring magic of the bananas.

Sakura-chan was wanted across the lands by grapes and grapefruits alike.

Okay, maybe I had a little too much fun with that. I also kind of barfed while writing it.

BUT IT'S TRUE. Because when authors start mixin' their OC all up with the different thingies, soon enough you'll end up with a girl that's like thirteen percent faerie, thirty-two percent werewolf, five percent dragon from the isle of asdfghjkl, twenty-two percent Korean human, twenty percent stuffed animal and eight percent teardrop of a unicorn.

...Don't ask me how the last two work.

See, your OC is going to end up sounding more like a shopping list than a human. Wait- nevermind, they're only 22% human anyways. BUT SERIOUSLY, YOUR OC'S GONNA BE INTER-FRUTIAL PRODUCE.

And all dem authors tryna make their OC more like a 'special little snowflake'? Yeah, they are snowflakes. There are way too many of them, I step on them all the time and when they float down 'oh-so-radiantly' I get pissed and want to BURN THEM IN THE FIERY PITS OF HELL.

May they all evaporate.

Like the banana-orange Sakura-chan- banorange? Oranana? Bang-an-orange? Bangtan Orange?

Ahem. Anyways, like Sakura-chan, your OC is going to make people barf. Please. Do not mix your OC with anything unless-

Unless it is a marshmallow.

I like marshmallows.

I like holding them over a fire, their outsides getting slowly burnt while their organs insides turn into a gooey mess.

And then I eat them.

Or maybe I might leave them over the fire for too long and they BURST INTO FLAMES, SCREAMING AS I LAUGH MANIACALLY-

Sorry. Went off on a bit of a tangent there.

I can't even begin to tell you how annoying the 'mixed powers' thing is. Oh, your OC has the power to make everyone fall in love with her, but also turn her hair into rainbows of colour and make millions of people cry? Might as well genderbend her and call her Oh Sehun.

Sorry. Lame EXO joke. Sorry.

*Walk of shame into a tree*