Oh, hello. 

I didn't notice you there. 

Hmmph. Well, welcome to this chapter, and welcome to...

 TYPES OF OCS

...

Dammit. How do I get out of this font? Ugh, gimme a second. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr there we go.

Ahem. Where were we? Right. Welcome to  TYPES OF OCS.

Umm... what am I supposed to say next?

Ahh, yes. Every type of OC can be a Mary Sue. Every type of OC can also not be a Mary Sue.

But today, we will be focusing on the Mary Sue versions.

Ha. You will suffer today.

With that out of the way, we can proceed on to our first one! 

Wait. I feel like I forgot somethi-

[CAUTION: READ AT OWN RISK]

[IT'S MORE LIKE A RANT]

[NOT AS FUNNY AS THE OTHER CHAPTERS; AND IT'S MORE OFFENSIVE]

[ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS, KID?]

[YOU STUBBORN READER]

[OHH, FINE, WHATEVER. PROCEED WITH CAUTION]

The 'Nerd'. 

Location: those 'she was an unpopular nerd, he was a kingka blah blah blah blah' fics.

Appearance: pretty. Like, why do they have to emphasize that, despite her 'nerd' status, she's still pretty? Each one of these fics eventually leads to the 'I'm an ugly nerd', 'OH NO BABEEE YOU'RE SO PRETTTY' conversation.

Personality: seems to avoid and be scared of boys. Acts flustered and cute. Typically ditzy, but somehOW IS SUDDENLY UNIVERSITY-LEVEL SMART. HahhhahafhshaHhhHhhHHHhhHH RIGHT.

Excerpt from an interview:

Nerd: H-hi...

Us: Hello. So, we're going to be asking you three simple questions. 

N: I guess that's fine with me...

U: Alright. First question: Around how many friends do you have?

N: Umm... I have one best friend... yeahhh...

U: And?

N: And this really popular guy's been staring at me for a while...

U: ...And you don't find it creepy.

N: Oh, no, of course I find it creepy! But... my heart beats faster whenever he does it. Oh, this is so weird... I've never felt this way before...

U: Riiiiiiiight... Second question: can you solve this PhD-level formula?

N: Umm... I don't think I-

U: Just do it.

N: Okay... 

*solves equation in five minutes*

U: Okay, now that's not even realisti-

The Little Sister. Like, not actually someone's little sister, but acts like- ohh, forget it, I'm taking up too much space. 

Location: inhabits many fanfics; mainly those gangster or werewolf AUs.

Appearance: cute, girly, dressed sweetly. Like a personified hunk of cotton candy.

Personality: innocent, sweet, girly, kind, friends with everyone, cotton candy, bLahAablHALhalKBB. Probably has a tragic past.

Excerpt from an interview:

Little Sister: Ohh, hi *blushes*

Us: Umm. Hi.

L: Soo... why am I here? Have you kidnapped me? *perfect tear drops down*

U: ...No. We need to ask you three simple questions.

L: *smiles sweetly* Oh, okay.

U: Firstly, around how many friends do you have?

L: Oh, a lot! Maybe around five hundred? 

U: I... okay. Second question: who is living in your immediate family? 

L: My parents died when I was ten... *sheds another perfect tear*

U: Ohh... that's sad... I'm sorr-

L: It's okay, though *sniffles* I have seven handsome, overprotective wolf oppas (that all love me) to take care of me now! They're my family; they protect me from danger!

U: Wat. OHhh nO-

?: Did someoNE SAY DANGER?

L: Ohh, oppa! You're here to save me? This person kind of kidnapped me and keeps asking me weird questions!

?: *Glares at us*

U: Seriously? Ohh, holy cra-

Gahhh. Angry wolf hybrid Korean guys are the worst. Dammit, I can't see because of my black eye.

What? You thought that I didn't finish the title because of my black eye? Oh, no. This next one is literally just called 'The'. That's because her personality is so bland. It's blander than water. Water gives you life. This girl just makes you flop dead from boredom.

Location: ERRWHERE.

Appearance: whatever. Generic... face... clothes... things...

Excerpt from an interview:
 

The: Hi, my name is ___. 

Us: Hello. Nice to meet you, I guess. Imma ask you a few simple questions.

T: Okay. It's nice to be here.

U: Wow, this is going alright so far. Um, first question: around how many friends do you have?

T: Normal. Twenty-ish.

U: Okay, thanks. Who's in your immediate family?

T: Mother, father, sister, brother.

U: Can you solve this university-level worksheet?

T: No, I'm not at that level yet.

U: Wow, it's like the authors make you as generic as possible so that their readers can imagine themselves in your place...

T: What? Did you just call me generic?

U: Kind of... yes.

T: Okay. *frowns* I'm kind of upset.

U: Yeah, you're boring. Next!
 

The Tomboy, kinda.

And yes, I know that it's Mikasa Ackerman <3

Location: like, half of the fanfics on this site. Including some of my old ones.

Appearance: tomboy clothes. In fact, the author makes it as clear as possible that the OC does not like dresses, skirts, etc. Like, we get it. You wanna distinguish your OC from the girly ones. You make the villains girly and hate on the girly-girls (kind of like what we just did... oops). 

Personality: rough; denies love; hates girly things; is violent towards her admirers. 

Excerpt from an interview:

Tomboy: Is that a dress?

Us: ...Yes?

T: *scoffs* You think you're better than me for wearing a dress? More of a woman?

U: ...No? Look, we just wanna ask you a few questions.

T: Are you hating on tomboys or less girly people? Is that what you're doing right now?

U: No! We're just trying to point out that authors unrealistically represent tomboys in-

T: YOU ARE RUDE. 

U: Sometimes it's just that the author wants to ship the tomboy with all of her male friends, or make her a tomboy just to differentiate or hate on girly-

T: Are you saying that I'm playing around with my guy friends?

U: Nooo. We're trying to help the authors not write you like-

T: *flips table* 

U: ...I give up. 

The end

...of part one?

BTW I love tomboys, girly girls, etc. I'm just saying that, if you write them, write theM WELL DAMMIT.