3 years ago…

It was a cloudy and cold day, which seems fitting seeing what was going on today. The atmosphere in the church were quiet with few people dressed in black, sitting there sobbing. There were not many people and the funeral was rather quiet. After everyone was gathered in the church, the priest walked to the podium and started his speech. The funeral ceremony took the whole morning and people gradually left after they pay their last respects.

It was already passed lunchtime when Lee Min Ho sent Park Shin Hye back to the apartment. He was totally lost of word and didn’t know how to comfort her, who was sitting on the couch, expressionless. Her reaction to the whole funeral ceremony was worrying him. She didn’t cry much and was surprisingly calm the whole morning. After her hysterical breakdown 2 nights ago, she has been very quiet and just let him to help her to prepare everything for the funeral without complaining. Looking at her like that, Min Ho felt helpless and didn’t know what to do. He would rather see her cry and scream than just sitting there quietly.  

He took a deep breath before walking towards the couch with a hot tea in his hand. He took a seat beside her and put the cup in between her hands. “It was very cold just now. Drink some hot tea.”

Without replying him, Shin Hye just took a small sip of the hot tea before putting it on the coffee table.

Min Ho sighed softly. “Are you hungry? You barely touched your food these 2 days.”

Shin Hye shook her head, still not replying or looking at him.

He pursed his lips together. “Are you tired? Do you want to rest in the bedroom?” He asked, breaking the silence again.

This time, she turned her head to him. “Don’t worry about me. You should go back to your office. You have been staying with me for the past 2 days. I’m okay to be alone.”

Min Ho looked at her and smiled slightly. “I’m free. I want to stay here with you.”

Shin Hye held his eyes for a moment before she looked down. “I’m tired. I want to sleep.”

Min Ho nodded as he took her hand. “Okay. Let’s go to sleep.” He pulled her up and walked her towards the bedroom. He helped her into the bed before covering her with the comforter. With her hand still holding onto his, she squeezed it softly.

“Don’t go.” Her voice was almost pleading.

He smiled as he lightly brushed a loose strand of hair off her forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.” He said before lying next to her. He gathered her in his arms and kissed her forehead gently.

After a long silence, Shin Hye finally spoke. “My mother used to hold me like this when I was still a child. She will rock me like a baby, singing me to sleep. When she was gone, halmeoni was the one who took over her role. Every night after she finished her work, without complaining how tired she was, she will hugged me like this, talking to me about what happened that day, asking me how was my day, as if reading me a bedtime stories.” She paused and smiled sadly. “Now, she was gone too.” She slowly looked up and met Min Ho’s eyes. “And here you are, holding me like I’m a precious thing to you, comforting me to sleep. But you will leave too, right? Once I thought everything will be alright, you will be gone too, right?”   

Min Ho felt his breathing suddenly became hitched and his voice stuck in his throat. He didn’t know how to give an answer to that question. Will he leave her? According to his initial plan, of course he will leave. It was supposed to be a deal and a contractual relationship. It shouldn’t involve any emotional intimacy between them. But how come there was a soft voice inside of him that was shouting yes? Looking into her vulnerable eyes, he wanted to tell her that he will stay and will not go. But can he? She was just someone that he planned to use to make his complicated life better but it turns out to be even more complicated now.

He sighed deeply and pressed his lips to her forehead. “I will not go… for now.” This was the only promise he can give her, at least for now.

A pang of disappointment hit her chest. Shin Hye smiled sadly at herself. She was expecting too much. His gentleness these few days were because he pity for her. Who wouldn’t? After everything she did to save her grandmother, she ends up loosing her. Since she was gone now, is that mean everything should come to an end? She can now finally free herself from all these and get herself out from this prison of sadness.

When Min Ho didn’t get any reply from her, he knows that he hurt her heart again. He pulled back slightly to look at her. He gently her jawline with his thumb and smiled. “You are indeed very precious to me. You were like an angel sent to me to soothe my lonely and painful heart. I wish I could do the same for you. As what I promised you, I hope to take your pain away. You have to trust me.”

Shin Hye held her eyes low and curled her lips slightly up. Angel?! She wanted to laugh out loudly. “I’m not an angel. I’m just a product, a service that you bought.” She chuckled sadly. “But I think I didn’t do a good job. Instead of curing your heart, my own heart was broken too.” She gasped softly when she felt a hard pressure around her jaw.

Min Ho’s eyes were darkened and his fingers were tightened on her chin, forcing her to look up at him. His eyes were piercing into hers but when he saw the tears starting to form in her eyes, his hand loosened and his expression softened. He let out a deep sigh, still looking at her. “Why must you always challenge my patience and make me angry? How many times I have to tell you that you are not a product. I never ever see you as a service I bought back to satisfy me or to make me happy. You are someone that I…” He paused and didn’t dare to say the word ‘like’. He was not at a correct position to say that word to her. He already made a big mistake by bringing her into his life and made his heart started to waver.

He sighed again. “You said you are tired. Sleep now.”

Shin Hye inhaled deeply before she closed her eyes, letting the tears rolling down her cheeks freely.

“Halmeoni… halmeoni…”

“Shin Hye… Shin Hye…”

Shin Hye creased her forehead and balled her hands into tight fists. “Halmeoni…”

“Shin Hye…” Min Ho pulled himself up and looked at her worriedly. She was crying and screaming in her sleep. He patted her cheeks softly. “Shin Hye… wake up…”

Her eyes fluttered open and breathing heavily. She looked around the room and was slowly getting back to her senses. The room was dark and the lights were dimmed. She guessed it was already nighttime and she have slept for a while now. When her eyes met Min Ho, she knows she was having a nightmare again. She was in the apartment with him and not in the hospital with her grandmother. She was dead. Her grandmother was dead 2 days ago. Tears started to roll down her cheeks again.

Min Ho sighed deeply. He leaned forward and wiped her tears away. He pulled her up and embraced her tightly in his arms. “Cry it out loudly. Don’t hide everything inside. Let it all out. Don’t pretend that you are okay when you are not.”

Shin Hye buried her face into the crook of his neck and started to sob. Her hands were gripping tightly onto his shirt and her body was trembling badly. “Why did she leave me? Why didn’t she stay stronger and try harder for me? I did my best to make her stay alive. Doctor Jang said it needed a lot of money to save her and I did everything to find that money. I work so hard, working as a waitress, as a promoter and I don’t mind how dangerous it was to work in the nightclub just to earn more money for her medical bill.” She cried as she pulled back and looked at Min Ho sadly. “I even sell myself to you, sleep with you, hurt by you. I didn’t regret a single thing I did because I just want my grandmother to stay healthy and stay by my side. But what did I get at the end? I was left broken, both emotionally and physically. I lost my grandmother and I lost myself too. I was left with nothing but alone.” She swallowed hard and her endless tears wet her face.

Her hand started to hit his chest, as her eyes never leave Min Ho’s gaze. “I hate my life, I hate this world for being so unfair to me. I hate my parents for leaving me alone. I hate my grandmother for not staying stronger for me. I hate you for breaking my heart into pieces.” She sniffed and cried harder. “I hate myself for not hating you enough. I hate myself for falling in love with you.”

Min Ho’s eyes widened and he was sure his heart stopped for a second when he heard her confession. Every word she said pained his heart but the last sentence was like a lightning strikes into his system. He was totally stunned.

Shin Hye stopped hitting him and chuckled sadly. “Why do you look so shock? Doesn’t it look obvious to you? You took my ity away like a damn but I still let you touch me and hold me each and every night willingly. I was sad when you mistaken me as your fiancée. I cried when you didn’t come home to celebrate my birthday. I was worried when you were dead drunk and sad. I pathetically pretend to be her just to make you happy. I was insanely happy when you hugged me and told me that you want me when I know you didn’t mean it like the way I want it to be.” She paused and laughed with her tears running down uncontrollably. “I felt like a dog that wagging its tail whenever the owner throw him a bone.”

“Stop.” Min Ho said sternly.     

“I felt so pathetic and so freaking cheap.” She said again.

“I say stop.” He warned her again.

As if didn’t hear what he said, Shin Hye continued. “Even though I know you were just using me as a replacement but I’m still hoping that one day you will like me as who I am and not how I reminds you of your fiancée.” She looked up at him as she tightened her grip on his shirt. “But you just like my body, right? You are just using me to forget the woman you love and using me to satisfy your physical need.”

“Park Shin Hye!” Min Ho raised his voice as his eyes daggered at her. His jaws were clenched tightly together and he could feel the fire inside of him was flaming. He hates hearing the way she said so low about herself. It felt like sharp knife stabbing into his heart.

Not fearing his dangerous expression, Shin Hye smiled. “Am I wrong?” She asked softly as she slowly pushed him backward until his back was leaning against the headboard. She sat on his lap facing him as she straddled his hips.

Taking in a sharp intake of breath, Min Ho stared into her eyes. “What are you doing?” He asked in a deep and husky voice. With her soft body sitting on him like this, his body reacted almost instantly.

Shin Hye leaned closer and smiled slightly when she felt his hardness underneath her. “What am I doing?” She repeated his question as her hands slowly trailed down to his chest and starting to undo his buttons. “I’m doing my job as what we agreed in the contract. Intimate relationship that only involve normal physical intimacy such as holding hands, hugging, kissing, petting and ual .” She smiled again when Min Ho’s breath hitched with her hands touching and caressing his bare chest. “There is another 7 weeks until the contract ends before both of us can walk our separate ways again. You have two choices. Since I’ve breached the contract by falling in love with you, you have the right to call off the agreement. Or you can still continue to enjoy the service you want from me.” She inhaled softly as she leaned closer to his ear. “You are so hard now. I wonder did your fiancée make you this hard too… ughhh…” She winced in pain when Min Ho strangled her neck and pushed her down, lying flat on the bed with him hovered on top of her.

“Don’t you dare to say another word.” Min Ho warned her dangerously through gritted teeth.

Tears leaked out from the corner of her eyes as she tried to endure the pain he caused on her neck. She felt his strength increased and she closed her eyes slowly. This was the pain she wants from him. The more he hurt her, the better she felt. Didn’t he say he would take the pain away from her? This was it. She knows his emotion was unstable especially when she mention about So Ra. He would hurt her without realizing it and this was what she wants. The more she angered him, the more he would hurt her. By doing so, she could channel all her attention into this pain and forget about the pain that her grandmother has passed away.

Min Ho’s hands loosened when he saw her tears again. He has to admit that this woman in front of him was very good in messing with his emotions. He knows what she was thinking. She was trying to make him angry and hurt her like the way he did during her first night so she could forget about her lost, about her sadness. She was using the most painful way to numb her heart. He inhaled a sharp breath before he leaned down and rested his forehead against hers.

“Doing this to yourself will not help anything. You will just break yourself even more.” He said softly.

Still with her eyes closed, more tears escaped her eyes. “I was already broken.”

Min Ho cupped her cheeks and kissed her lips lightly. “I’m sorry. I know I hurt you a lot and this relationship have brings you a lot of pains. But please forgive me that I couldn’t end the contract now. Not when you are like this.”

Shin Hye slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. “Please don’t treat me like you really care for me because it will only make it harder for me when everything ends later.”

“Then don’t let it end.” Min Ho said as he pulled back slightly, staring deep into her teary eyes.

Her eyes widened and looked confused. “What?”

Min Ho inhaled a deep breath as he caressed her cheeks tenderly. “If it’s so hard for both of us when it ends, then just let it continue. Let us continue to stay at each other’s side and keep each other’s accompany. Don’t think about the future, don’t think what will happen next and don’t think when will all this end. Just enjoy the moment being together as long as we can.” He paused and slowly brought his hand to her chest and pressed softly against it. “Let the pain inside here stop for a while and forget about everything. Let us be the painkiller for each other.”

Shin Hye held his gaze and was shock with what he just said. Her mind went blank and couldn’t process his words.

Min Ho smiled slightly looking at her confused expression. He leaned down again and kissed her lip, harder and longer this time. “You were right that I like your body a lot. Being inside of you was incredibly good and satisfying. It make me hard whenever you are this close to me.” He whispered seductively against her lips. His grin grew wider when Shin Hye face turned red.  “But this is not the main reason I want you. If I want to satisfy my physical need I can find better women who have heaps of experience to satisfy me.” He smiled. “I don’t hate you. I… I even like you.”

Shin Hye parted her lips slightly, looking at him in disbelief.

He sighed softly. “If I really treat you as a woman who I just want to sleep with, do you think I even care how you feel and where you go after your grandmother passed away? Do you think I will leave all my work in my office pile up like a mountain just to stay here with you and make sure you are okay?” His fingertips brushed across her cheek. “I don’t know I’m pity for you or anything else but as I told you before, you always make me feel bad and guilty. You was supposed to numb my pains but you are making it worse.” He looked at her seriously. “Don’t ever say something that will hurt yourself again. You are not cheap. You are just doing it because you love your grandmother. And I was an for using it to lay my hand on you.” He wiped her tears that haven’t stop rolling down from her eyes. “You are not alone. I’m here with you.”

Shin Hye bit her lip and looked at him again. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have brought up your fiancée and…”

“It’s okay.” Min Ho cut her off. His lips slowly curled up in a grin. “But there is something that you should be sorry for and need to be responsible.”

Shin Hye raised her brows in confusion. With him pressing himself closer towards her in the next second, she felt his hard length against her thigh. She closed her eyes when he leaned down and started to trail his lips down her jawline and to her neck, lightly on her soft skin. She knows it was wrong for letting this ill-fated relationship to continue but he was right. They needed each other; at least she needed him. She doesn’t want to be alone. She doesn’t want to think about the future that she might not have one. She knows he doesn’t belong to her but she just wants him to stay with her for now.

Min Ho’s hands were already working on her shirt’s button and within second, the soft fabric was pulled away from her upper body. With one hand, he reached behind her back and undid the hooks on her bra and took it away of her. He then s his hands behind her back again and tugged the zipper of her skirt down, pulling it with her underwear completely off from her.

His mouth slowly finds its way back to hers and kissed her hungrily. Letting out a low growl, he pulled her up abruptly until he was now leaning against the headboard with her straddling him. His hands trailed up her thighs and slowly went up to cup her s. He traveled his lip down her neck and then up to her ear.

“You gave me a very good idea of having you like this on top of me. You look very y with this position.” He whispered lustfully into her ear.

Shin Hye fisted her hands in his hair when he took one of her stiffened peak into his mouth, it hard. She gasped breathlessly as she sank her teeth into her lower lip. The cries of pleasure escaped when his tongue continued to lavish attention on her rounded flesh.

“Take my shirt off for me.” Min Ho commanded softly.

She obeyed obediently as her hands started to undo the remaining buttons that she has undid half way a while ago.

While she was busy with his shirt, his hands left her unwillingly and reached down for the button on his pants and undid it, then slowly