“I’m going to move out…”

That morning I said to you and you look so surprised.

“w..why?” you asked me, “Are you mad at me ?”

“No…Of course not” I fake a laugh at you, “My mom was moving to Seoul three days ago I can’t let her living alone. She is getting old..you know what I mean right ?” even it’s hard I force myself to let out a dry laugh to cover the awkward situation between us.

“She is in Seoul ?!” you asked surprised. “Why didn’t you tell me ?! It’s been a long time since the last time I meet her , I miss her..”

‘How can I tell you when you’re so busy with your new lover.’

“Sorry… you can meet her next time though.”

“Are you seriously going to move out ?”

“hmm..” that’s the only answer I can give to you. “I’m going to take all of my belonging later, for now I’ll just take my books and some clothes..”

The things I said to you earlier it’s half true and half lie. It’s true that my mom move to Seoul, but it’s not the whole truth when I said that I want to accompanied her, there’s another reason and I think you must be know it too or you’re not. I want to get away from you, from my feeling towards you, from our memories, because this apartment has hold so much memories about us, this apartment has become a silent witness for our sinful love. So, that’s why I want to free myself from here, because it’s always suffocating me every time I remembered about our memories it’s like a nightmare that always haunted me. It’s makes me sick, it’s drives me crazy.

The closer I get to our used to be bedroom the heavier my heart get. I held the door knob and opened it. The moment I entered into our room, pieces of our past memories welcoming me like an arrow, makes my heart beating in pain.

‘I have to hurry up’ I said to myself, want to get away from here as soon as possible. I take my books and some clothes in a rush, then started to get out.

“You’re finished already ?” you asked me.

I snapped my head at you, surprised. Standing at the door frame awkwardly, it’s feel like I was get caught when I was stealing.

“Oh.. yeah. Just some books and clothes..” I throw an awkward smile at you, “Don’t worry, I’ll take the rest next time..”

“Hmmm..” you just hummed spiritless, your eyes unfocused, seems like you’re thinking about something. Why ? What are you thinking about ? Why did you look so down ?

“So, I’ll take my leave, I need to help my mom organizing the house. She’s too old to do that kind of thing..hahahaha..” I laugh at the end try too lessen up the quiet atmosphere.

“Do you want me to come along with you ?” suddenly you asked me, looks so excited and happy, “I can help you!” you give me a bright smile, showing your white teeth. And for the first time, today I can see a spark of happiness in your eyes. But, maybe words that going to came up from my mouth later, will be one of the most regretful thing in my life.

“No.. It’s okay. It’s almost finished anyway, no need to troubled yourself. It’s better for you if you just take a rest..” I said to you, rejecting your offer that soon I