“I was in love, and the feeling was even more wonderful than I ever imagined it could be.” 

–Nicholas Sparks

Summer came and the temperature was getting hotter. Hot season arrived. Everyone was planning to have a vacation—to enjoy the sunshine and the beaches around. It was one of the great seasons because people have chances to bond whether it’s with the whole family or just friends.

Summer is in the air

But you’re not here

My heart is missing you

The first month of summer was an ordinary month for me—nothing special happened. I went to work, and then went straight home. My daily routine everyday before we met. I was living alone again, feeling unloved. She was not here and I didn’t know where in the world she was. If only I could search the world in a snap just to find her, I’d do. But I couldn’t do it. I have no special powers like those superheroes possessed.

Sunlight illuminates my entire room one morning. Sunlit was kissing my eyes that it hurts it. I rubbed my eyes for awhile when my phone suddenly rang.

“Jessica!” I yelled softly as I was surprised by her sudden call.

“I’m back. Would you mind visiting me?” she queried, her voice was a bit dimmed.

“Okay. I’ll be there as soon as possible.” I said hurriedly.

“Let’s meet at the park where we first met, okay? I will hang up now. Bye.” She said, and then hung up.

Our conversation was short yet it brought me unexpected happiness. It made my heart fluttered. Excitement started to creep inside me. I hastily trod my way to the bathroom to take my shower. I wore my most comfortable suits to wear. When I finally get done, I was gleefully marched my way down the stairs. Mom saw me grinning from ear to ear that was why she blocked my way when I reached the last step of the stairs.

“You looked happy, Son. What happened?” Mom queried, eyeing me a conspicuous look.

“Something special happened, Mom. Jessica called me and she’s back, that’s why...” I said smiling.

“That’s nice! She’s gone for a long time. Did she tell you where she stayed?” Mom asked me with a furrowed forehead.

“She didn’t tell me yet. I’ll ask her later. I have to go, Mom.” I said, pecking a kiss on her furrowed forehead.

“Okay! Drive safely, Son.” She said as she reached for my cheek to leave a kiss.

I stepped into the car and drove hurriedly. When I reached the park, I saw standing near the mini houses were children was joyfully playing. Jessica was smiling while looking at them. “Jessica” I called out her name, loud enough for her to hear it. She turned around and faced me. One thing I noticed for that very moment was she was getting paler than before and even thinner than before.

“Donghae” she uttered my name in a gentle voice. Her lips were pale like ashes.

“Are you waiting for a long time?” I queried, walking paces to near her.

“No. I just arrived a few minutes before you came.” She said, clasping her hands in front of her.

“Do you want to seat?”

“Yes. I’m feeling tired.” She said in a lowered voice.

“Let’s seat over there.” I said as I pointed to the direction of the vacant bench near the slides.

Jessica nodded. So, we marched our way there. We sat side by side silently. She placed her clasped hands above her lap and inhaled lungful of air for twice, I think.

I looked straight to her eyes and asked, “Are you okay?”

“I’m just feeling a bit exhausted.” She answered as she her totally dried lips.

“I missed you, Jessica.” I said out of the blue.

She pivoted her eyes away from mine. She looked somewhere that I couldn’t figure out where.

“Missing me is a waste of time, Donghae.” She said coldly.

That time, I saw a different side of her, not the usual warmly calm and demure woman I saw before. She was cold, as cold as ice. No traces of warmness in her eyes.

“Look, Jessica, missing you is the only thing I could do to fill my heart’s desire.”

“Stop feeding you heart with my thoughts. I don’t want your heart to get used to me.” she said, looking at me with a frown face.

“Why?”

“It’s because I don’t want us to be hurt in the end. I don’t want you to be in a miserable situation like I experienced before.” She looked down after saying those words. I didn’t know what made her cry.

“Listen to me, even I hurt a million times because of you I can endure anything and everything, as long as it’s because of you.” I said, trying to make her understand what I wanted to say.

“Why?” she asked me the same question I asked her.

“It’s because I need you. I need you, Jessica. I need you all my life.” I blurted out. Emotions started dominating us. Jessica was crying and I was like crazy trying to confess to her what I felt and hoping she felt the same way, too.

“Why?” she asked again. Looking straight to my eyes—trying to find something inside it.

“Just as poet needs inspiration to write a masterpiece, I need you… Just as an artist needs a subject for his work of art, I need you… Just as a teacher needs a pupil to mould into greatness, I need you…Just as a composer needs a theme to create a timeless melody, I need you…” I wanted to hold her hands so she could feel what I was feeling, but I was too hesitant to do it.

“Will you still needing someone when at some point in life you will loss that person suddenly?” she looked depressed. I didn’t get what she meant.

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s put it this way, if I leave you, will you still need me?”

She asked me a question that I didn’t know how to answer. I thought the time when she left me for weeks, realization knocked me down—that I needed her all my life.

“When you left, I thought of you every single second. I thought I’ll be fine without you. But as time and days goes by, I can’t live without you. It’s all because I need you. Believe me or not I need you.” I uttered while just looking at her face.

“I don’t know what to say, how to react… I just really don’t know, Donghae.” she said as I saw confusion in her face.

“You have enough time to think, Jessica. I can wait for the answer, no matter it takes years.” I smiled a beam smile, and then wiped away her tears on her cheeks.

“Thank you.” She said with a small smile on her lips.

That day wasn’t easy for us. And though I knew it was a perfect timing to say to that I love her, I just couldn’t do it. I love you is the highest form of expressions. It should not be done through speaking, but through actions. And if she was still in doubt of my intentions for her, I should put more effort for her to feel me—to feel my heart and my love.

One thing I forgot was to ask her where she went that it took her for a long time to come back her in Seoul.

Birds are chirping

Like our hearts singing its melody

I love you

When the second month of hot season arrived, I decided to have two weeks of vacation since I was too exhausted for the couple of months because of too much work. A break would help me to feel fine again. I asked Jessica if she could come with me and she said yes. I couldn’t remember the last time I went to the beach. Is it during high years or college years? I didn’t remember much.

I fetched Jessica at their house. She was wearing a pink bohemian style lace dress with a wide brimmed hat and a flip flops. She was way too cute. A sheer of soft pink colour lipstick define her little lips.

We arrived at the beach at exactly two in the afternoon. Everyone was having fun as the traditional Mud Festival was held. We stopped there to watch, but unfortunately, we both got muddy as people from other countries placed us inside a prison and made us muddy. We didn’t have any choice but to get dirty. Though we looked dirty, Jessica and I had fun.

The first night was colourful as fireworks lightened up the evening sky. Different colour appeared before our eyes. There was so much light that enamoured us. Everyone was surprised, amazed, and happy of what they just saw. Even Jessica couldn’t help but looked up though her neck turned numb. Our first night in the Daecheon beach was really awesome.

On our second day, we went to the in and out door mining coal museum which has a collection of 1,700 artifacts such as mining tolls and mineral samples. There are six different halls inside the museum that present their unique collections. Guiding Hall provides viewer’s information and has gift shop. Research Hall shows the developing of coal. Discovery Hall presents samples of coal and other mineral and history of mining industry. And lastly was the Participating Hall which has artificial coal pit that’s very like a real. But we just visited four halls, since Jessica was started feeling puny. At dinner, we ate Korean barbeque in one of the Galbi Houses, but Jessica didn’t eat a lot.

On our third day, sea fishing was our destination. We went to the Daecheon Port wherein 40 boats were ready for fishing. I enjoyed the fishing moment except for Jessica who was sitting because of headache.

“You should just stay in the hotel we lodged in. I’m worrying about your condition, Jessica.” I said, as I checked her up.

“We’re here to enjoy the summer, to enjoy the Mother Nature. I don’t want to miss this day.” She said her subterfuge strongly.

“Fine. I can’t do nothing coz that’s what you want. Just inform me if you’re not feeling well anymore.” I said as I forcefully smiled at her.

We were both worn-out as our day ended. On the fourth day, we travelled along the road where we watched the sea. We enjoyed the fantastic drive as we felt the sea along the coast. As we ran for the long time, we stopped the car in front of Jukdo that was located in the middle of the bank.

We spent our last day of our beach vacation inside the hotel. In the veranda, together we stood up under the starry skies. We’re a metre apart. The air blew her hair that she appeared more beautiful in my eyes, like a goddess.

“Do we always stand like this? Distant from each other?” I queried, looking at the over-looking scenario of the beach as it glistened under the moonlit, and then stared at her for a good moment.

“I always distance myself when people become emotionally closer to me. Maybe it’s because I know in the end they’ll end up leaving.” She said as she tucked her some stands of her hair behind her ear.

“Are you afraid of being alone?” I queried.

“No. I just hate leaving.” She plainly replied and looked at a distant.

“I will never leave you. I promise.” I said as I tried to look in her eyes and hoping it would meet, but it never happened coz her sight was still in distant, enjoying the scenery in the dark.

“Don’t say promises you won’t be able to fulfill.” She said in a tone of disappoints.

“I know I can fulfill it. I will never utter such things which I can’t stand until the very end. Just give me a chance and I’ll prove it you.” I maybe sounded conceited at that very moment, but all I wanted was prove to her she thought wrong.

“Can you really prove it to me, Donghae?” she asked me. In her face there was a big question written on it.

“Look, Jessica, I woo you because I felt a certain feeling inside me for you. And if my actions aren’t enough for you to feel what’s inside me, then I can start from zero again. I will woo you a million or billion times if it’s the only way I can do.” I uttered seriously as we faced each other, but we’re still a metre apart.

“No, Donghae. I can feel you.”

From the time I heard her say those words; I walked towards her and wrapped my arms around her. Inside me eruptions of feelings happened—feeling of happiness, surprised, and affection was bursting inside my heart. I didn’t know how to be sweet, like other couples did.

“Listen carefully to me coz I’m going to say this once, I love you, Jessica.” I said as I hugged her tighter. I heard her sob loudly like a child.

“I do—don’t know w—what to say.”

“Shh…you don’t have to give me answer right away.”

She hugged me back, and that was enough for me more than words can say. It was a hug that made the night sweeter to me—to us. And that night, our hearts unite as it sang the same song of love.

Though she never said those three little words to me, I knew in her actions that she loved me, too.

Check out time was three in the afternoon.

We have enough time to enjoy and savour the scenery before we get to back to Seoul. It was dawning when we went to the beach side to take walks while inhaling the fresh cold breeze. Jessica was a little moody that morning and I didn’t know why. I asked her, but she answered me plainly that it was because of headache. I did feel her forehead and she was freaking hot. I was panicking when she fainted. Thank God I caught her just right in time before she hit the sandy shore.

cont...

>..comments are very much welcome and appreciated..<