“I’m home,” Junsu shouted, closing the entrance door behind him. He peered into the living room, finding it empty. “Anyone home?” he called, getting out of his shoes and jacket and ridding himself of his disguise.

The sun was going down outside, so he the lights before stepping into the living room. “Junho!” he shouted in the direction of the bedrooms. No answer came. “Weird,” Junsu thought “Junho said he’d be home by now – casting successful or not.”

Junsu had been to castings himself. They could take very long, depending how many people were being casted. But if he had understood correctly Junho was already on the shortlist. Junsu went down the hall to his own bedroom and threw his briefcase full of documents on it. He would start doing those tomorrow.

Where was Junho? Junsu wanted to know how his casting had went and tell him about his success in pretty much securing the contract with Pearl Station.

He went out of his room, down the hall and opened the backdoor to the small terrace and garden. Not expecting cigarette smoke, he instantly had to cough and put his hand over his mouth. “Since when do you smoke?” Junsu said under his breath. Junho, who had turned his head in surprise at Junsu opening the door, took one last draw on the cigarette, exhaled away from his brother and then put out his cigarette on an ashtray that stood on the window sill.

“I have been smoking socially for some time,” Junho said. “It grew into a habit over the last 2 years. Stress relief, you know.” Junsu took his hand off his mouth. He didn’t want to say anything. He knew he had barely been around and that made him feel guilty. A preachment was on the tip of his tongue, but he held it back. “How did your casting go?” he asked instead, feeling he already knew the answer.

Junho clenched his fists and starred wordlessly at the setting sun that was still visible above the outskirts of Tokyo. “I got a role in the drama. Just not the part that I wanted. Some minor Japanese celebrity had additionally been considered for the part and he got it instead of me. Now I get to play the villain.” Having said those words Junho relaxed and his fists unclenched.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get the role you hoped for,” said Junsu. “But sometimes the villain is more interesting than the hero. Who’s to say you can’t rise to fame with that?” Junho laughed a bitter laugh. “My villain character is some sort of mutant, who’s a mean ignorant brute. Not only will I play the entirely unsympathetic character – my face will have to look the part as well – which means I’ll spent 2 hours before every shooting being transformed into some Frankenstein. For the entire first season my character undergoes no development whatsoever. I’ll just be there to contrast with ‘Mister Perfect-Of-Course-I-Snatched-The-Main-Role’.”

Junsu hated how he had nothing to reply to that. Every comfort he might have had in store would not suffice right now. Junho had been waiting for his breakthrough in the East Asian entertainment market for years, after his dreams of becoming a professional baseball player had been crushed by a sports injury. It was too late for a normal ordered life. And somehow it was never the right time for jumping on the train of fame either.

Sometimes Junsu wondered how life would have turned out if he had never become a celebrity. Wondered if maybe it would have been better for his hyung.

Finding no proper response, Junsu put his hand on Junho’s shoulder and said: “Let’s go inside.” “You go,” said Junho, not taking his eyes of the red stripes the sun was painting in the sky behind the sea of houses before them. “I’ll have one more cigarette.”

Feeling he should have done something more, Junsu retreated inside the house and aimlessly wandered around the living room. Junho had always been the responsible one. The one who reminded him of an upcoming family event. The one who kept the reality check on both of them.

“Maybe it’s a bad phase he’s going through,” thought Junsu. “Maybe I see everything worse than it is.” “There’s a way to find out,” said a voice in his head. “You can have an open conversation with your brother. Ask him if he’s doing ok. He will be honest with you.” “Maybe I’m a little afraid of the answer I’ll get,” thought Junsu. “What if it’s something where I really can’t help him? Just like I didn’t know what to say to him on the terrace.” The voice remained silent. “Big help subconscious.”

Junsu sat himself down on the sofa and stared at the coffee table in front of him. Underneath the glass plate Junho hat put photos of friends and family. Junsu studied them, but stopped when he saw a photo of him and his brother as 6-year-olds. It made him feel guilty.

“Think about the good things your fame brought to your family,” started the voice in his head again. “Think about all the money problems you solved. Remember how hard your mother had to work and how little she earned. Remember the tiny flat you lived in. Way too small for 5 people. You ended that before you had turned 22. Do you think your and your hyung’s future would have been very bright if you wouldn’t have gotten your family out of their financial problems?”

Junsu nodded to himself. It was true: He had ended his family’s poverty. When he had started as trainee he hadn’t even been thinking about profit. He had just wanted to do music. And it had changed his entire life. Largely for the better, and partially… for the worse.

“Your frown makes me guess I wasn’t the only one who didn’t get what they wanted today,” said Junho, who had come back inside the house. Junsu looked up. “Actually it went well. I need some more patience, some more signing and going through documents, but it’s gonna work out.” “Congratulations!” said Junho, stretching his arms. “They’d be insane not to sign you.”

“You should have gotten the main role in ‘Snow Factory’,” said Junsu. “2 years ago you were really good in ‘ of Luck’¹.” “I was a really minor character,” said Junho, sitting down in the armchair next to the sofa. “Yeah!” said Junsu, “but the kind of minor character that makes the show really worth watching! Both comic relief for the audience and the conscience for the main-character! Do you still have it on DVD?” “You wanna watch that?” asked Junho. “Yes! I wanna show you something!” said Junsu, who suddenly got an idea.

Junho got up and strolled over to the DVD shelf. “Yeah, I still got it,” he said taking a DVD case from the shelf. “What episode?” “The one about the bakery.” “Hmm, okay,” said Junho, shrugged and inserted the DVD. “I really don’t know what you wanna show me. That episode was really average. And we had to reshoot it several times,” said Junho, sitting down next to Junsu and selecting the right episode with the TV remote.

As the intro started playing, Junsu started to explain: “Do you remember why you had to reshoot this episode?” “Of course!” said Junho, “Lee Mi-young got a haircut without the director’s permission in-between filming sessions. And then she didn’t want to wear extensions and it was one big real-life drama.” “True,” said Junsu. “But I remember distinctively how you complained about the situation to me and about how you were already tired of playing your character. And…” “…and I got the director to not only reshoot but rewrite the episode,” said Junho, his face lighting up. “Precisely!” said Junsu, “You saved the half-assed script and after the viewing rate improved 5% for that episode, the director gave you a lot more freedom with the interpretation of your character. Who says you can’t do that again!?”

Junho grinned and Junsu smiled back, feeling a wave of relief at seeing his hyung’s spirits revived. “Maybe,” said Junho, his smile fading a little. “It’s a Japanese cast, crew and director this time though. I’m just a minor actor and I’m a foreigner. It’d take a big opportunity and a lot of effort – and the right ideas at the right time – from my side… but you’re right: It is doable.”

“Whether you want to complain or brainstorm for ideas or just anything – I’ll be around for a while,” said Junsu, “If there’s anything you wanna talk about –“ “Shush!” said Junho, smiling again, “I’m making my entrance into the scene!”

“Let me get you some coke!” said Ayame, got up and vanished down the stairs before Richardis had even replied. A coke did make sense, she thought. She had trouble keeping awake while listening to Ayame’s advise and narration of what was going on down in the dining hall. She felt dizzy and she had trouble keeping her eyes open, while she tried to pay attention to Belle, Maria and the other hostesses bustling around, serving drinks and talking to their customers.

There were so many different things she needed to keep in mind: She would need to memorize the names of her customers, their preferences in drinks, in snacks, their personal quirks. She would have to watch out that she wasn’t intruding into another hostess’s territory, by accidently claiming a permanent customer – a so-called shimei customer – who had been frequenting the club originally because of another hostess. She would have to establish a friendly, flirty relationship with customers, which would create the illusion of no professional distance. In reality Ayame had inculcated her that she would have to maintain emotional distance from customers at all times. Bonding with the mama-san and with the other hostesses was usually favorable and relaxed the working atmosphere, but Richardis would have to watch out for potential back-stabbers, who might start snatching away her shimei customers.

Before coming to Japan, Ayame had assured Richardis, that working for roughly 1,5 years should earn her enough to pay for tuition fees. Now 1,5 years seemed like an awful lot of time to spend in smoke-filled window-less rooms in the company of strangers. How had Ayame managed this by herself for such a long time?

Down in the hall some more customers had arrived, one of whom had invited Maria to a round of karaoke and Richardis could now observe the big red drapes part to reveal a large TV screen with loudspeakers, which started playing the instrumental to a JPop song. At this moment Ayame returned with a coke for Richardis and a juice for herself and sat down.

Staring at her glass of coke Richardis asked: “Will I be expected to drink whatever the customer drinks?” “Hmm…” said Ayame, “Actually, yes, you will.” Richardis looked at her horrified. She had been watching the guests downstairs for half an hour now and they had been ordering nothing but alcoholic drinks. “See, the drinks that both the customers and the hostesses consume are a major source of income,” explained Ayame. “The more you drink and get your customer to drink the more money you make. But any decent establishment, like this one, will not ask you to drink more than you can. It’s up to every individual how they handle drinking.” Richardis was still worried: “I don’t drink at all, Onee-chan². Not in the company of strangers at least. I get tipsy so easily.”

Ayame took a sip from her juice and seemed to be thinking hard. Richardis felt very stupid. Ayame had informed her that drinking was part of hosting culture via the emails they had exchanged, before Richardis had come to Japan. It seemed Richardis had skipped all the uncomfortable parts of the job and just looked at the promising figures that Ayame had calculated for her. She had been prepared to give up 1 or 2 years of her young life for this, since it would open up the chance for her to study in the place of her dreams. But drinking 6 days a week? She was not willing to sacrifice her liver for it. She wondered how Ayame handled the drinking.

“Looking at it realistically: If you don’t feel comfortable, Richi-chan, then of course you shouldn’t drink,” said Ayame after slightly tense silence. “Just be aware that you might have some trouble getting hired and that it might add another whole year of work since you’ll be making less.” Richardis felt about to despair. She could go back to Germany. Study there. Or just some place other than Japan. She had asked for this challenge, informed herself only superficially and now felt overburdened before she had even started. Why did everything have to go instantly wrong, when she sat foot in this country? And why did she still feel tied to it? Why could she still not stop thinking about how her life could work out here?

Richardis’s face must have clearly revealed her despair, because Ayame put down her juice, reached over the small table between them and hugged her. “We will figure this out!” she said. “You and me. We will find some way that you can pay that tuition.” “Thank you, Onee-chan,” said Richardis, hugging Ayame back. She felt slightly comforted. Ayame let go of Richardis and sank back into her chair.

Down in the hall Maria and her customer had just finished their second song and both handed their microphones to another hostess and her customer, while the group around them was still applauding the previous performance.

“Drinking is your weakness,” said Ayame, watching the people downstairs. “So we will leave that aside and play to your strengths instead.” “Like what?” asked Richardis. Ayame turned her head back to her: “Like your Japanese fluency. That alone is so rare among hostess of foreign origin, that it should increase your chances of getting hired. And then there are your karaoke skills.” Richardis smiled. That’s how she had picture herself as a hostess: Spending most of her time singing karaoke. She loved music and it was about the only thing besides languages that she had some talent for.

“You can do this!” said Ayame, lifting Richardis’s spirits. “The customers also have to pay for every karaoke song they want to sing or have a hostess sing. If you make that your trademark, you should be earning decent amounts. If you are willing to minimize your cost of living and you constantly save money… it’s doable.” “I will do my best!” promised Richardis.

At that moment one of the hostesses, whose name Richardis didn’t know, came sprinting up the stairs and started speaking very fast to Ayame. Richardis – who was still processing all the information she had been flooded with – didn’t catch what was said. Ayame nodded hastily in response to the hostess, who shortly after rushed back down the stairs.

“I gotta go for a bit!” said Ayame. “One of my shimei customers just arrived and is asking for me. It’d be impolite if I’m here and I refuse to see him. Will you be okay for about 30 minutes? I promise we will leave afterwards and I’ll let you go to bed.” “I’ll be okay!” said Richardis, who, having gone through minor despair to restoration of her spirit within about 15 minutes, felt awake again. Ayame gave her a grateful smile and vanished.

Richardis watched the hostess and her customer sing a vaguely familiar R&B ballad. She should be able to do that. She knew plenty of songs – Japanese, Korean, American, European – you name it. And now that she was thinking about it… being a hostess would not only earn her money, it could benefit her in various ways! If it all worked out, she would meet lots of people, improve her Japanese, develop more social skills. She would no longer be the awkward duck at parties and she would surely learn a lot about the Japanese way of life.

In that moment, she heard footsteps coming up the stairs to her balcony and turned her head to see who it was. She was slightly taken aback when she saw Kenji Mori climbing up the stairs towards her. He arrived at the top stair and without hesitation sat down opposite of Richardis. “Good evening,” he said and instantly flashed his crooked smile. “Good evening,” said Richardis, unsure what to expect. “Do you remember me?” Mori-san said, pointing at himself. Richardis nodded, but remained silent. She felt awkward. Continuing to smile, Mori-san again inspected her appearance in a matter of seconds. “You look pretty,” he said and Richardis could feel herself blushing. “Thank you,” she said. “Ayame helped me.” “Did she now,” said Mori-san, glancing down the hall for a few seconds and then fixing his gaze back on Richardis.

“I actually came to congratulate you,” Mori-san continued. “Eh, why?” asked Richardis perplexed. Mori-san reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. “All these business cards…” thought Richardis. Mori-san leaned forward and handed the card to her. Richardis stared at the Kanji, while she hastily struggled to remember their meaning. “Shiro…” “…ryuu!” Mori-san finished for her. “The Shiroryuu is a hostess club. I recommended you there and they are willing to interview you.” Richardis stared at Mori-san. “Thank you...” she said. That had to be what Ayame had been talking about – Mori-san scouting new hostesses for establishments.

“My pleasure!” replied the host, his smile growing brighter. “Good luck!” he said and had gone up and left, with Richardis shouting one more “thank you” after him.

‘Shiroryuu’                          White… dragon?

 Just maybe she was meant to stay in Japan after all. A job interview already. Richardis inspected the card more closely. On the back of the card were a time, date and address. Underneath the black Kanji was a beautiful grey dragon made up of brush . It looked hand drawn. “This is either one damn expensive place or one big scam,” she thought.

^{1 Junho really was in a drama called ' of Luck'. I haven't seen it however, so any details about his role in the drama are made up.}

^{2 Japanese for 'unni' (big sister).}

I feel I’m making Junho look bad, since I have him constantly complain and moan. Truth is: I have no idea what he is really like. He did have an injury in real-life that stopped him becoming a professional athlete and his career as a celebrity has been difficult and rocky (to the best of my knowledge). How he handles that in real life … I don’t know. I’m letting my imagination run loose here. So don’t quote me on this – I don’t truly know what he’s like or even whether he smokes. Btw, Junsu's family according to several sources I read really was quite poor while Junho and him were growing up. And drinking really is an issue in the hosting world. I'm not sure if the common jdrama or kdrama stays close to reality with that... so much sad facts in this chapter. :( I hope you were able to enjoy it in some way anyway! :) And stay with me: Hosting business will be starting soon and it should get interesting! :D