Sometimes when I close my door,

Chae Soo Kyung could count the times he has gotten genuinely angry on one hand. Frustration was one thing, he can’t count how many times he has gotten frustrated, but anger was another. They hardly coincided though. But, that was what was happening with his song. He was getting so frustrated to the point that he was angry to the point of being furious.

He was struggling hard, but no matter what he did, his fingers came down heavily on the keys as if a tumultuous storm had arrived. Rain was crashing down on him, blurring him of his vision, deafening him with crashes of thunder and roaring winds. The pillars were wearing down from the elements, slowly crumbling, falling down.

His emotions had no way out, so now they were bursting at the seams. Was there a setting that could minimize the loud sounds of him screaming? Everything was so loud, practically blaring.

And then it came to a stop.

His breathing was the only thing left in the room.

He dragged himself listlessly to the bed, eyes tired and cheeks wet. He found himself doing this often, wrapping himself in some blanket of destruction and letting it take him places.

Maybe if he just came out and said the words, he wouldn’t feel like acting so reckless.

“Yah, Chae Soo Kyung, what’s wrong with you?”

His head darted up at the sound of the new voice in his home. He got off his bed, walking over to the open space where his equipment sat. Sitting on the couch, was the person creating conflict in his brain for the past month.

Well .

He knew his keyboard had been turned up a bit louder than usual, but he didn’t think that his neighbour would be able to hear the terrible smashing of the keys. Kim Myung Soo hadn’t said anything else, just sat there looking at him with a worried gaze.

He hated how much trust the older male had in him. And, in the terse silence, when he said the words that clouded his mind, he wondered if the other would close off and drive him far away. He watched the other male’s mouth open a few times, but a sound never emerged.

“You don’t have to say anything, I just needed to get it out.”

He watched the Adam’s apple bob.

And he gave him a smile. His usual smile.

“Sorry, but can you leave? I can’t really look at you right now.”

I leave it unwittingly unlocked.

How stupid of me.

Chapter 14: fade (out).

A/N: When I first thought of this story, I was hooked on the soundtrack for Kotonoha no Niwa (The Garden of Words). april.#20, however, is not on that soundtrack. It’s on KASHIWA Daisuke’s (who also composed the soundtrack for Kotonoha no Niwa) album Re:. I was in love with the #19 mix of the original, and #20 being the piano version of it, I was hooked. At that time, Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso (Your Lie In April) was still a manga that I was deeply into reading. Worst part when it became an anime, not only did I cry harder at the end, even more than I did when I read it, but the soundtrack made it even more heartbreaking (the experience happens often). So, there is quite some correlation with April.

Going back to Kotonoha no Niwa for a split second, if you watched it, you may have noticed a small nod that I gave to it. I’m a fan of Shinkai Makoto’s (creator of 5 Centimetres per Second and The Place Promised In Our Early Days) work and the tranquil that is always present whenever I watch his films. Anyway, countdown – six.