It was 14^th January 2015. Hana was three. Jongin was 21.

We were over at Jongin’s parents’ place – celebrating both their birthdays. The threats from their fans didn’t stop and I had to do something. Just the other day some girl tried to take Hana away from me when I looked away for just a second. I was scared to death for the safety of my child. Today I was going to separate Hana from Jongin. It broke my heart but it had to be done.

“Make a wish Jongin and Hana!” Lay said happily as held their cake. I’ve never seen Hana so happy that so many people were celebrating her birthday. And that she was celebrating with her fath – Jongin.

“Omma? We’re almost done. You can pick us up in 15 minutes”

15 minutes was all I would give to Hana to spend with Jongin and the rest. Someone placed a pig’s head in our mailbox today and that pushed me to the edge. Enough was enough. I couldn’t sit still, knowing this was a huge thing I’m keeping from all of my friends.

Everyone was jolly, Hana was starting to get a little hyperactive from all the sugar they were feeing her. It’s okay, she should bask in this moment while it lasted.

“You’re spacing out again…” Jongin teased as he pinched my nose.

“Sorry… Just tired..”

“Care to dance?”

“Sure…”

I kept glancing at the clock, anytime now my parents would arrive. I glanced over my shoulder – Hana was with Kris now. Once I saw headlights shining from his window, I took a huge deep breath.

“Jongin…”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too” I tiptoed a little and kissed him, suddenly feeling I shouldn’t be doing this. Just as he was about to reciprocate I pulled away and took Hana from Kris.

“What the? Hyemi ah!” Jongin shouted after me when I opened his front door.

“PAPA!!” Hana started wailing, her arms and legs flailing about.

“Hyemi where are you going!”

“I’m sorry! I cant stay around anymore!”

“Hyemi don’t do this!”

“PAPA!!!!!”

“Hyemi wait!”

I slammed the car door shut and told dad to drive quickly, not wanting to look back. I’ve already gotten a glimpse of how hurt Jongin was. I cant handle it. Hana was crying non-stop right now asking for Jongin and my heart ached so bad I wanted to almost give up.

“I’m so sorry Hana…” My own tears falling while I tried to coax my daughter. I prayed hard she didn’t grow up hating me.