I'm continuing to count my breaths as it fades in and out. One, two, three..

"Yoongi?" I can hear him calling out my name. The scent of smoke lingering from his breath and evaporating through the air. The covers are moving around me as I feel myself breathing harder. Thirty one, thirty two, thirty three...

"Are you okay?" I peak under my bangs to look at him straight in the eyes. He has a concerned look buried deep within his black eyes. His hair is mixed around on the top of his head while his mouth wraps tightly around a cigarette lighting up the room.

"Yeah...I am." Mumbling underneath my breath, I turn closer to him with my eyes shut. I try to hide the fact that I couldn't sleep, that somehow the eerie noise of the night was getting to me. Jungkook smiles and extinguishes the only source of light in the room. He blows out a puff of grey smoke before cuddling closer. I hold my breath to keep the smoke away from my lungs.

"Sorry..." He breathes lightly, shoving down tiny circles of mints down his throat. The air smells like herbs as soon as he starts breathing deeply through his mouth.

"Why are you doing that?" I ask, opening my eyes to look at him. He smiles through the dark and lays down on the bed, rolling towards me and holding me close. He draws closer and kisses me softly, lips brushing against each other. I taste the bittersweet smoke entering my throat. I'm still counting. Two hundred and ten, two hundred and eleven, two hundred and twelve...

"Promise me you won't leave." I'm hearing the same things again. Over and over again. He's dreaming sweetly against me, my skin is burning and my eyes are raising the tides against the moon as tears fall down. I can't breathe. The counting stops, my breaths are stopping. Everything is turning into a slow dreadful daze as the sound of a lighter clicks. The smell of smoke and gasoline mix and fill my lungs. I breathe it in, the colour grey grasping on to my being.

"I need you but...why do I keep needing you when I know I’ll get hurt?"