Me, punching Tan, crouching over him. Him, scoring with his kicks, making my stomach swollen. 

Blood. Blood was everywhere in his face and in his hands. And blood on mine. I couldn't tell who's who.

And Eun Sang. 

She was there, weeping quietly as she tries to get between us. 

I had stopped finally, until my vision became black. 

--The sound of her voice was the first thing I heard. "Will he be okay?" She asks.

I open up my eyes to tell her that I'm fine, but as soon as I see her, I felt like going back to unconsciousness. 

She is leaning over Tan's hospital bed, his hand, clasped in hers. 

Of course, in the end, it will always be him.

How could you be so dumb, Choi Young Do?

I stayed still as I was before. A nurse walks up to me. 

"How do you feel?" She asks. Eun Sang turned her head, as if having an idea of what was happening. 

"I'm okay." I say. My face feels heavy and thick, hot and swollen. But then, thin arms were suddenly wrapped around my neck.

"Stupid. You think I don't know? He was there in the past week. He saw everything. He monitored my every move. I don't know why. And I also don't know why you ended up like this. This is not a joke. You think I'm happy? About you being a hero? Sorry, but no." She scolds. 

She knows but she didn't do anything about it. How could she not think of herself? How can she be so selfless and so passive? 

"What a welcome." I retort. "Since I met you, you have never been happy." I wince. I didn't know talking could be this hard. 

Seeing that, she pulled away.

"So you really are flirting with each other." He blurts out. 

Eun Sang looked like she had been slapped. "Excuse me? Flirting?" She repeats. "You call friendship flirting?"

"I didn't know you're friends with him." He looks at her blankly. "And you call that friendship? Looks like a relationship to me."

If I just have the strength that I need, I will punch his mouth to keep it shut. "You're just jealous because she can't hug you."

"Shut up. I'm not talking to you." He says.

Eun Sang's hands have now curled into fists. "How could you say this to me? Huh? Kim Tan?" Those tears. They have come again. A flowing stream, running down her cheeks. 

I wish I have the strength to wipe it off. 

"The past week, I have not thought of no other else but you. I have abandoned my friends because you abandoned me. I have shooed them off because of you. And you know it. You know everything. I know you were watching. I saw you. I felt you. And I hope I didn't. Don't make me regret in believing you, Tan. Don't make me regret that I chose you. That I pushed everyone away because of you." She started to slow down as every unspoken word is now carelessly sliding off . "Don't wave at my face that this is the prize of being in a relationship with you and make me regret in loving you, because I am so near to my breaking point. And if that happens..." She breaks off and stepped out of the room, banging the door after her.

He looks shocked.

"Careless." I say.

"She saw me." He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes in frustration. 

"Why did you tell her that?" I ask him. He knows what I'm talking about - on seeing her just once in two weeks.

"So I could watch over her." He says genuinely. "I never meant to hurt her, nor lie to her, I just want to check if she'll be okay without me. And if she could hold on to our relationship despite our situation. But based on my observation, she's not okay, or will be okay. I've asked my mom to make her eat at home, but she won't. She doesn't even sleep anymore. She's in the wine cellar all night, crying. She even doubled her chores at home. It's hurting to see her like that."

I didn't expect a genuine answer from him. I didn't expect that we could still have a real conversation. As always, Tan is full of surprises. "Well, she did see you, and you just blurted out that she's a flirt, so yeah, I think your relationship is going to work." I say sarcastically.

"I woke up with her hugging you!" He yells. "Don't take your chances Young Do. We could and will work this out."

I roll my eyes and laughed. "You know she doesn't like me at all."

"I know. I just can't help it." He says.

We both sigh. We stayed quiet for the rest of the day. 

"Thanks." He says out of nowhere. "For being with her when she needed me."

"I didn't do it for you."

"I know. But-"

"Don't thank me. I did it because I like her." I say before he finishes his sentence.

He let out a small laugh. I look at him sharply. "You don't like her." He says. "Moron. You love her. How stupid. Until now you can't distinguish like from love." 

Love?

"No, I don't." I say. Or maybe I do. Perhaps he knows me more than I do. "That's not how I love." I say.

"I can't believe she's the same girl. It makes me want to fight hard for her. And why? Have you loved before except for your mom?"

"No."

He laughs. And it makes me want to join him. Almost 4 years, since I have had a good conversation with him. I hate to admit, but I kind of missed being his friend. But that's not how it goes anymore.

"Stop it." I say.

"Choding." He teases. 

"I'm not a kid." 

"Just remember this, you can never have her."

"Bet on it." I challenge.

Tan was about to say something when she came in. 

She looks at us, puzzled. "You guys almost killed each other and now you're sharing each other's laughs?" She scolds like Tan's mother.

"We're not laughing." Tan opposes. "Let's go home." He says. "Mom's worried, and I have to be there before dad sees that I left." Tan says almost urgently.

As always, she is afraid and acted immediately. "But, what about Young Do, he can't --"

"He'll be fine." Tan says. 

I wish I could tape his mouth. 

"Kim Tan." She demands.

"We have our private lives too!" He half shouts.

"Don't think that I forgave you." 

I smirk. "It's okay, someone will be here soon to get me." I say. 

Always an angel, Young Do. 

She breathes out. "Okay." She says without hesitation. "Let's go, Tan." She assists Tan to get up. His arm, draped around her shoulders. Without another word, they disappeared as the door closed. 

I lied. No one will take me home. Tan knows that. No one really cared in the first place, or do my dad knows what my agendas are. 

Great, Young Do, now you have to get up and go home on your own. 

I try to sit. Lying for hours was tiring. I hear a knock on the door. "It's open." 

I was expecting a nurse, but, no. 

She walks in quietly and takes out something from her pocket - a notebook. She started writing on it and held it up so I can read it. 

/Master Tan sent me here./ She wrote. 

Whenever I see Eun Sang's mom, it makes me want to have her as my mother. Not because I like Eun Sang. But she would still work even though she couldn't speak. She would do anything for Eun Sang. I wish my mother was like that. I wish my mother will do that for me. Where ever she is.

I nod at her and she drew near. She helps me get up, exactly the way Eun Sang helped Kim Tan. 

"Please tell Tan my gratitude." I say. "Does Eun Sang know that you're here?" 

She shakes her head and began writing again.

/Master Tan doesn't want to let her know./

I nod. 

I can't be more grateful for him in my life.