I didn't hear from her since morning. 

The only thing I got from her was a text message that she was grateful for last night.

Tss. Pisses me off. 

That's all I get?

Damn it.

Thump, thump, thump.

One strike per complain.

I was in Myung-soo's quarters all morning, throwing darts everywhere. 

I somehow hit Lee Bo-na and Chan Young's picture. Seeing that, she shot me with her dagger eyes.

"Yah! Young Do!" She shouts with her high-pitched voice, piercing through everyone's ears in the room. And with that, each person covered their ears. Even I did. "What do you think you're doing?" She yells at me, running gracefully to the area where their picture was, and stood right in front. She unpins their picture and caresses it. "You piece of bitter single youth!" 

"How sweet, dear Bo-na." I say sarcastically, mimicking Chan Young's voice. "Want to be my next target?"

"Ugh! Chan Young!!!" She whines, slamming the door after her. 

"Oops, there she goes." I point the door and raise my hands, "Chan Young!" I shout with the girliest voice I can.

"She's so cute." I hear from a voice behind. 

"Chan Young?" I ask as I turn to see him. "What are you doing here? Your girlfriend ran away to get help from you."

"I know. She's so cute, isn't she?" He shakes his head like a madman. He held his hand and started counting with his fingers. 

One.

Two.

Three.

The door flew open.

"Chan Young-ah! What are you doing here?" She flung her arms around Chan Young's. "Won't you defend me? Choi Young Do bullied me two minutes ago!" 

She won't stop whining.

"Come on, let's eat outside." Chan Young offers, and Bona concedes. 

There they go, cuddling as they went, forgetting that there is a world behind them.

"Well, what was that about?" Hyo Shin blurts out.

"Nothing, hyung. Just messing around." 

"That's what you do everyday." I hear hyung stifle a laugh. "What are you so pissed about?"

How could I forget? Hyung has been with me for 3 years now. No wonder he can read me. I'd be rather surprised if he doesn't. At least someone cares. "Being abandoned." I say as an answer. 

He shakes his head as he dropped the book he was reading to the table in front of him. He leans on the sofa, as if readying himself to listen. "You were abandoned almost 5? 6 years ago."

Normally, I would have hit him if he was someone else. That topic was never brought up because it is too confidential, and at the same time, I would get in trouble and go straight to the Principal's office. "No. That was a long time ago."

He laughs now, his shoulders shaking. "So I am right. I was right." He shakes his head. "I can't believe this."

I look at him in disbelief. He didn't even tell me anything, and I wasn't open to him. And what on earth and is he talking about? "You can't believe what?" 

"You like the girl Tan likes, don't you?" He closes his eyes, as if remembering something important in the past.

There are so many things to ask, so many things to explain, but all that I managed to say is, "Her name is Eun Sang." 

"You have never liked girls before." He says. "Not in a serious way."

"I know." I say. He is right. I have never liked girls before. Bo-na is the only girl I know. "She's different."

"I know that. If she weren't, she would have not gotten your attention." He says and stands up. "Well, good luck to you and Tan, kid. Just don't let Eun Sang get hurt more. She has suffered too much." He taps me in the back. "You too, stop hurting yourself." 

I nod. I didn't know he could be a real hyung to me. I hear the door click shut, hyung, leaving me alone. 

--

I walk lifelessly in the deserted hallway, my footsteps, echoing through the walls. I see Tan walking across, followed by Eun Sang, who has her head down. Her shoulders were tensed and from here, I could see tears streaming down. 

I won't stop myself. Now is the time to act.

I flung my fist to the side of Tan's face. He knew what I was about to do because he stopped in his tracks. I felt my fist hit his jaw, hard. 

He looks at me gloomily. "Not yet satisfied? Go, punch the other side."

He is too much. I had let him with Eun Sang even though I shouldn't, but this is all he could do for her? To make her cry? Well he needs someone to wake him up. 

And that's gonna be me. 

I punch his left jaw. I grab a handful of the front part of his uniform. "You Bastard! Does it make you happy when she cries?" I ask in the quietest voice I can. 

"You know nothing." He whispers. He uses effort to talk. I might have harmed his jaw. And for now? I don't care. 

I hear footsteps coming closer. It's Eun Sang, running toward us. "Stop!" She cries. 

I didn't let go of Tan's shirt, I tighten my grip on it. "Are you done?" I hear him say. I didn't have enough time to brace myself. His fist is already on its way to my face. I stumble and hit the ground. Tan is still a better boxer than me. /Hul/.

"You want more? Young Do?" Tan warns as he wipes prickles of blood in the side of his mouth. "I don't want you getting in my--"

"I said enough!" It was Eun Sang, now in the middle of Tan and me, like a strong barrier neither of us can cross. "Stop it!" She shouts, exasperated. "Kim Tan, you can leave now. Or your father will come and get you here and get us all in trouble." Her voice shakes.

Tan was silent. Like me, he didn't expect something like that from Eun Sang. Eun Sang would never shoo him away, but her actions today proved me wrong.

She helps me up, and supports me to get to my feet. I looked at her and searched her eyes. 

All I could see is hurt. 

"Let's get you cleaned up." She tells me. She walked away without bothering to look at Tan. 

"I'm not done with you." Tan says. 

I turn my back on him and followed Eun Sang.

--

We are on the hand washing area, somewhere behind the school, where no one ever seem to go. 

Of course Eun Sang would find this place for herself.

"Tell me what happened." I demand. I lean on the tile sink as she wets her handkerchief.

"You shouldn't have done that." She says, avoiding my question.

I won't fall for her excuse. "What did he tell you?"  

"You hurt him." She says.

Right. 

"I punched him." I say. 

"What for?" She says, almost yelling. 

"He made you cry, didn't he?"

"But you don't know anything." She says.

"You should have helped him instead if you're here to yell at me about punching him." I tell her. And I mean it. 

She squeezes the handkerchief and let the water drip. She crosses her arms. "You got anything else to say?" 

"He punched me too!" I cry out, sounding like a kid. 

"That's why we're here." She says gently, as she reaches out and damped the wet cloth at the side of my mouth. "Come here." She is so gentle. "Look at you, is it fun to get punched? Do you like getting hurt?"

"Well, do you?"

She scowls and looked at me. She pressed the cloth hard on my wound. 

"Ouch!" It really hurt. "What was that for?" 

"Will you shut up?" She says, and I did.

If this is the price of getting punched, maybe I should involve myself in boxing more often.

I don't know what feels good, the way the cloth touches my face or because she was the one holding it. 

She looks at my eyes, I hold her gaze. 

After what felt like hours, she broke the gaze and opened up to me. "I could only see him once in two weeks." She says finally.

"Why so?"

"He'll be out of the country. He says it's business. He talks about it as if it is so easy." She looks in a distance and talks without looking at me. "I don't think he cares. He's always 'I have to'. Or 'We don't have any other choice.'" 

A pause.

"He says, 'it's that or we're over.'" She looks up. "It's like a threat. Why do I always have to suffer? And newsflash, the engagement's back." Her voice started to shake. She has stopped talking. If she talked more, tears would fall. 

I know her a little too much.

"You would always have your own choice, Eun Sang." She then looked at me. "You could always leave him and have your own way. You don't have to be his follower. If you call this a relationship, it looks more like a boss and a servant. Haven't you had enough?"

She can't speak. Perhaps I pushed her too much.

"I can't." Was all she said.

"You just pushed him a while ago."

"I did it to look strong. I acted strong, so he would not look at me as someone small. That's all I ever do and where I'm good at. To act. To be someone I can't be."

A part of me shattered. It was all an act. Something within me deflated. "So that was all for a show." I say, my voice, colored with disappointment. 

She wipes a tear and looks at me. "Sorry." She tells me. "Sorry I always had you as my bait." 

Well, that hurt.

"Don't be." I wipe the blood with my sleeve. Eun Sang seemed to have forgot why we're here. 

Oh right, I remember. It was all for a show.

"It's okay." Without thinking, I pull her in a tight embrace. Too tight that if I could just get all the heartaches and suffering from her, I would. 

I feel her hand go up until it reached my back and felt her clutch my shirt. I tap her lightly on the back, as she started to let go, to cry.

At least this could work. 

"What would I do without you?" She says out of nowhere, and slowly pulls away. 

I reach out to touch her cheek and wiped her tears. "Stop crying. You're too puffy already."

She smiles. It's her first smile since the start of this semester. And it's my first time seeing her smile. "I didn't know you have this side." She says.

"Neither do I."

I never knew I could comfort other people. 

Cha Eun Sang herself is so persuasive. Even I, the hardest and toughest kid in the block, can be transformed to someone better.

But.

"You should still see me as Young Do. The bully, heartless and war freak Young Do."

She looks at me expectantly. "Why?"

"This side of me may not take long."

Of course, I still have Tan to take care of. I'm not done with him yet.