Spending my weekend at grandma is not a bad idea at all. Besides, I need time for myself. I shut myself from everyone. I left a note on the fridge for my parents that I will be staying at grams for few days and I’m in luck because both my class is cancelled on Monday so I got a day extra to unwind. I left early in the morning after that rollercoaster night to avoid mom from seeing me in bad form. I just don’t want her to worry.

Jiyong must be looking for me, I switch my phone off and left it at home.

Hmm, Jiyong…

When I arrived here on Saturday, grandma was over the moon with my presence, though she was being suspicious over my wound, I think she believed me when I say I fell down the stairs at my college due to the 5 inch heels I’m wearing. She keep saying “stop wearing those stupid shoes and wear these” pointing at her comfy, basic, black sandals. Grandma, please.

She lives here alone and refused to stay with us when grandpa died 5 years ago. She was pissed at my parents “how can I leave all my memories with him here?” I remember her saying that.

I understand where she coming from, we visit her often as well and now when I’m big enough, I come here often by cab. I can drive but I don’t have license. Yup. That’s why I always hitch a ride with Ji to college.

Ji again… hmmm…

“If a young girl is staring blankly at the sky, she is in love”

I turn to grams immediately. She is smiling sarcastically at me. Omo omo.. this old woman.

“Stop talking nonsense grams..”

“You can’t lie to a woman who has changed your diapers, Chaerinnie…”

“I’m not~~~”

“Who is it?”

“Grams!”

“What?”

Her eyes is focused on cleaning the green beans, we are at the porch outside, relaxing. I crawl and help her clean the beans.

“So?”

“What grams… it’s nothing…” how can she clean this gazillions beans and not be tired of it? I feel like dying just by looking at those beans.

“Chaerinnie, you have a problem right? That’s why you come here? I know how my grandchildren are…”

Sigh, grandma is good.

"Tskk... you're breaking my heart grams, i don't only come here when I have problems..."

She let out a laugh followed with a pinch on my nose.

"Yeah, you don't... but it's true, right?"

i sigh and look at her briefly. After contemplating, why not? i need to talk to someone who will not blabber like that alien sister of mine. Urgh.

“Grams, I have a friend…”

She raised her eyebrow and I quickly shift my gaze back to the beans.

“Okay… carry on..”

“So, her best friend that she has known forever since they were kids falls for her…”

I told grams sounding nonchalant as possible. I was waiting for her to say something and just look at her waiting for her golden point of view.

“And?”

“And… don’t you think it’s wrong, or weird that he suddenly likes her?”

“Why do you think it’s wrong?”

“Because…. Well, because they are best friends… and best friends don’t fall for each other… I mean, you’ve seen each other almost every day, how can you suddenly fall for your best friends? He's just confused, right??”

*biting my lips* 

“Who make that rule that best friend can’t fall for each other?”

In every books and novels I read, and some movies too. I watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S grams. I know and have you ever heard about friendzone? I really want to say it, but this is grams we are talking about. I don’t want to disappoint her with that idiotic answer.

“Is there any right or wrong in love?”

Again, I can’t answer. I just sigh and listened to her. She smile and put the beans to the side, I move closer and bring my knees together to my chest.

“Chaerinnie, if you fall in love, then you fall in love. You cannot cheat with your feelings and you cannot judge what other people feel. Falling in love is such a beautiful feeling my dear..”

“I don’t believe it, some people use love as an excuse to do something horrible… how can you know that it’s real?”

Living proof, right here. Donghyuk said i love you to me like nothing. Another point why I felt not connected to him.

“You know… I used to be cynic when it comes to love, I don’t believe that love has the power to make people grow stronger, wiser and complete… I used to laugh at my friends when they talk about soul mates but then, I met your grandfather.. and I who was once a cynic.. Converted, I become completely devoted to him, my sole purpose was to make him happy and stay together until… until death do us part…”

I hold grams hand when I saw her choke but she release it and caress my cheek, how can she survived these past years alone, far from her family. I really adore her strength and I wish I have that when I’m her age.

“My dear Chaerin, love don’t have any rules.. We don’t choose the people who we should fall in love with and it doesn’t come with warning. It hits you like a truck. You have no time to think about it, it’s inevitable, it is crazy… you don’t even know when it happens, sometimes you just wake up and you realized that you’ve fallen deep with that person”

I think back of what Jiyong have said to me and my heart starts pounding.

“But the girl, she doesn't know what to feel when she heard the confession…”

“The answers is with her, she already knows what she wants, she just need to look harder into her heart and be real about it”

I look at grandma and throw my gaze at the flowers growing beautifully near the fences. Grandma is right. I just need to be honest with my feelings.

“I’m going to go inside and cook some green beans okay? Don’t stay too long here Chaerinnie, it’s going to rain soon…”

I smile at her and watch as she makes her way in, and I turn to look at those beautiful flowers again.

Now I feel like going back to Seoul.

Back to Jiyong.

********************************************

“Now promise that you would call me when you arrived okay?”

“Yes grams… I will…”

“Do you have enough pocket money?”

“Yes”

I chuckle while inserting my bag in the bonnet of the cab. Leaving is always the hardest, Grams will act so tough that she would shed her tear but pretend that sands got into her eyes. Lol. My grandma, everyone.

“Here, bring these kimchi and this braised pork belly… I pack for the Kwons too, okay?”

“Okay…”

We look at each other and smile.

“Come here grams, don’t act so tough…”

I laugh as she pinch my cheeks and hugs me.

“And you… resolve with your feelings okay?”

Erk, say what?! She didn’t say more after that and I awkwardly enter the cab. She watch me and I wave at her until she fades away from my sight. Grandma knows I was talking about myself.

ing. Embarrassing.

I thought I was being discreet enough?

Hmm.. I need to rest my eyes, my mind, my body, my soul basically my everything before facing with reality.

I heard faint voices as I open my eyes. Oh, we’ve arrived. It’s 7.15 pm. Wow, those 2 hours just gone like that. I stretch as I get off the cab watching the uncle helping me with my luggage. He’s such a nice guy, he gave me discount probably because grandma gave him a packed food as well for the ride. Ahh, why aren’t there many nice people here, in Seoul?

“Thank you so much uncle…. Drive safe~”

I wave at him as he drove away. Yes, home. Finally.

As I was walking to my door I glance over at Jiyong’s balcony, hoping that he is there somewhere, but none. I sigh and walk carefully not to spill the food with my clumsy hands.

Dad was the one who opened the door just now. After hugging me, he help me carry my luggage inside. As usual, mom is ecstatic and doesn’t let me go before I tell everything of what happens back there.

“Honey, it’s almost 8… give it a rest” dad winks at me and mom pouts. Ahh, my mom is so cute.

“Fine… omo, you need to give them these… go clean up first..” mom pointed at Jiyong’s place.

Okay, now that I’m here, I don’t think I’m ready to meet him just yet…. Fuuccccckkkkkkk! I look so basic with this outfit I’m donning~! Wait, since when do I care about how I look like in front of him? Ow mai gawddd… it's happening.

Mom pull me up