If there was one thing that Suho was absolutely positive that he knew about, it was when his fellow leader was not right. Even if Kris would deny it to high hell in front of management or the others, and even fans, Suho always called the moments when their dragon was getting a cold, needed to sleep in or to be left well enough alone because he was in a mood. Thankfully Yifan was so much easier to deal with but the EXO-K leader understood that they both wore masks to make things just a little easier.

So with a couple of days left to go before their Overdose promotions, Suho knew that something was up with Yifan. Whilst they were all tired from constant rehearsals and teasers and everything else that the company had them doing, his fellow leader looked exhausted and they hadn’t even started the whole shebang properly yet. He noted that the M members even noticed their leader’s strange behaviour and were trying to help out in any way that they could do.

It was a little frustrating at first, mainly because Suho knew that Yifan was a stubborn mule and would not open up to anyone about a lot of his problems in the slightest but he had hoped that at the very least he had got it into his thick skull that if there was anything wrong then he could always turn to him. They had no secrets between one another and back when they had been promoting Wolf and Growl it wasn’t too uncommon to find the two leaders hauled up somewhere, a bottle of whatever had taken their fancy at the time being shared between them and just hours upon hours of conversation that ranged from business like things to stupid things that their members had done that day.

Now those didn’t happen so often and Suho wondered what he did to make Yifan want to shy away.

However getting a chance to talk to the other alone was next to impossible because everyone was just constantly getting in the way or else they were sorting out stuff for the upcoming concerts and some nights all he wanted to do when he got back to the dorm was to kick off his shoes and go straight to bed without passing go or bothering to change out of his sweaty clothes.

This was almost one of those nights, bar a strange tingling sensation in the back of his head made him far too curios for his own good. Walking past his bedroom, muttering something about getting a drink from the kitchen to a slightly confused looking Chen, the K leader made his way to where he said that he was going and noted as he opened the fridge that there was an extra bottle of slim line mineral water when there should have been a bottle of fizzy pop. It was a silent invitation and Suho let out a long sigh of relief at the mere knowledge that Yifan finally wanted to talk to him. Trust the git to want to do it two nights before Promotions started but that was what he loved about the other.

So bloody annoying but so flaming cute at the same time.

Letting out a sigh, Suho grabbed a chair and stole a few of Chanyeol’s hidden snacks – it would be easy to replace them later – and managed to eventually find where Kyungsoo had hidden the cheese puffs before sneaking off quietly to the balcony which technically joined two bedrooms but since there was an unstated rule that the area was leader territory only no one dared to go near it. Closing the curtain so as not to disturb the already snoring Lay and Luhan, Suho stepped out onto the balcony and made sure to quietly close the sliding door before turning and almost felt his heart break.

There was Yifan, his fellow leader and usually the rock of the group sitting down with his knees drawn up to his chest and his face resting on his knees, bare feet laying flat but toes occasionally curling in worry or fright. Yifan looked tired, almost as if he was at the point where he would just break into a million pieces. This was not the fearsome dragon facade that he hid behind in the slightest, this was the scared and lost foreigner who was living in a city that was not his own. Suho retreated in Joonmyun’s mind, knowing that the other needed not the leader of the other part of Exo but his actual friend right at this moment in time.

Hurriedly dropping the items to the ground, Joonmyun ran the few steps to Yifan and for no reason that he could think of other than it was somehow expected, wrapped his arms around the other in a hug. It was a tad awkward since the taller man did not initially move in the slightest but that was just one of the things which happened. Keeping his hold light, Joonmyun ran his fingers across Yifan’s shoulder, lightly tracing the outline of the tattoo which was already partly covered and just waited patiently. It probably wasn’t that good of an idea to be up all night since they had rehearsals in the morning but given that this was Yifan who was in need, Joonmyun was prepared to wait until the sun came up if he had to. Getting to this stage was a feat in itself, getting the other to talk about what was wrong would be nothing short of a miracle.

Strangely however, he barely had to wait a couple of minutes before the taller figure shifted in his hold and moved from the slightly cramped curled up position to actively lean against Joonmyun and wrap long arms around his torso. Yifan still kept his head down, burying it into Joonmyun’s chest and despite remaining virtually still; it wasn’t hard to miss the silent tears which were leaking out of the others eyes. Now Joonmyun’s fear was skyrocketing beyond anything and he couldn’t think about the consequences of tomorrow.

Yifan never cried in front of anyone, especially not Joonmyun.

Feeling more than guessing that the time was right, the K leader slightly shifted his position and placed his hands on the other’s shoulders to push him back because touching his face was just a little too intimate at the moment. “Yifan?” he asked quietly, hoping that he wouldn’t have to actually ask the question in the slightest but after a minute of silence, Joonmyun knew that he had to make the first move, “What’s wrong?”

A slight shake of the head was his response and Joonmyun would have got annoyed if he hadn’t spent so much time around the other. Biting back a sigh, the K leader tried one thing which he knew would generate a response, “What is wrong with you, Yifan?” he asked in his best possible Mandarin and really hoped that he hadn’t said anything wrong.

The other slightly raised his head, a confused look in his eyes and a frown just crossing the smooth features, “When did you get so good at mandarin?”

Joonmyun shrugged, “Luhan-Ge’s been teaching me for the concerts for some insane reason,” he managed to half reply in mandarin before switching back to Korean, “Said something about not wanting you to get too emotional and trip out or something.”

Yifan sighed, “I’m going to murder that little brat.”

“He’s older than you,” Joonmyun pointed out, grinning, “You should respect him more.”

“Not going to change a thing,” Yifan replied, wiping at his eyes a little as he sat up, “Still going to kill him.”

Joonmyun shrugged and mimicked Yifan’s posture earlier just without his head on his knees. Instead he placed his chin on them as he addressed the elder, “I think he’s worried is all. In fact all of M appears to be worried at the moment...what’s wrong, Yifan?”

For a second the Chinese Canadian looked like he wasn’t going to answer before letting out a long sigh as if giving in, “I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

“This?” Joonmyun asked, frowning a little, “What, EXO?”

Yifan nodded in response.

“Why?” Joonmyun knew better than to start second guessing the other because Yifan would have a very strong reason for wanting to quit. He knew that something had been wrong since his extended stay at home before Wolf started but whatever it was Yifan seemed to have gotten over it and as far as Joonmyun knew there were no major problems in the slightest.

They were a crazy bunch of fools at times but they were friends and a family, so surely whatever it was couldn’t be that bad right.

Yifan looked up towards the stars before looking down at his long hands, “You know that I went to the hospital the other week right?”

Joonmyun nodded, he remembered the slight panic that had caused because they had supposed to be filming for a CF or something.

For another minute Yifan looked really uneasy, as if he couldn’t quite make the choice in his head as to what was best to say and Joonmyun was just about to pounce on him and force the other to tell him when Yifan looked directly at him, “They think I’ve got a heart condition...”

Of all the things that Joonmyun was expecting to come out of the other that was not it in the slightest. He stared dumbfounded, “A heart condition?”

“Yeah,” Yifan said quietly, “myocarditis.”

At the lost expression on his friends face, Yifan smiled, “It’s a thing which basically inflames the heart and can cause...” taking a deep breath, Yifan shook his head, “If could cause my heart to fail.”

“Fail?” Joonmyun echoed, “Wait...this could kill you?”

Yifan nodded, “It’s not confirmed yet but...it’s pretty likely.”

Joonmyun was silent for a few seconds before swearing, “.”

“Pretty much,” Yifan said, leaning back against the nearest wall and glancing back at the stars.

“Can’t they give you some treatment for it?” Joonmyun asked, sounding hopeful.

Yifan nodded, “Yeah, but it would mean that I would have to rest up too. As in properly rest...not just a week off or anything like that.”

Bile rose up in Joonmyun’s throat, “You’re thinking of leaving?”

“I don’t know,” Yifan said hurriedly, “But...” he sighed and shook his head, “I know it’s selfish but what happens if my heart fails and we’re in the middle of something? A TV show, a promotion, hell even the upcoming concerts. What if you have to watch me die? I would hate that but I know I can’t just walk away that easily either.”

Joonmyun caught onto the deeper meaning of Yifan’s words and he blinked, “You told the company?”

“Yeah,” Yifan said, lightly picking at his nails.

“And they said?” Joonmyun prompted.

Yifan sighed again, “Until they get a full diagnosis that pretty much confirms that I’m going to be at deaths door within the week I have to keep on going ahead with the schedules.”

“Have to?” Joonmyun shook his head, “But won’t that...”

“Yeah,” Yifan said, rubbing at the back of his neck, “They told me not to tell any of you either.”

Part of him wanted to throttle Yifan at the moment but he remembered that they were one another’s secret keepers but another part of him was angry with the company over this whole sorry situation and other part of his was completely worried over what would happen if the rest of EXO found out about this. Joonmyun sighed and then pouted, “Damn you, why do you have to get something that could kill you right before promotions start again?”

Yifan couldn’t help but laugh at the other, “Trust you, Joonmyun. I didn’t exactly plan this.”

“I know but you could have gotten it a few months ago when things were easier,” Joonmyun continued to mock pout as he tried to think this whole sorry mess through, “now what the hell are we going to do?”

“I was hoping you could help out there,” Yifan smiled before sighing, “It’s not going to be easy. None of it is.”

Joonmyun went quiet and then thought of something really morbid, “Don’t suppose you’ve written out your will yet?”

“Joonmyun!” Yifan yelled, playfully swatting at the other, “I’m trying to be serious about this.”

“So am I,” Joonmyun sighed, shaking his head, “Okay, so we’ve got the situation where the company knows but you can’t be cut from any promotions and you’re not supposed to tell anyone about what’s going on and your heart may just fail on us randomly...”

Yifan smiled and leaned his head back on his knees, “Maybe we should just keep it to this conversation?”

“But what happens if it does happen?” Joonmyun questioned, tilting his head to the side.

“You’ll know,” Yifan replied with a softer smile, “and that means the world to me at the moment.”

Joonmyun was about to question the others logic when he thought about it and felt a light smile crossing his face. If Yifan’s heart did fail the Joonmyun would know about and would be able to keep the situation calm because he would know what to do because he would spend his time researching the condition and the signs and all the rest of it. He would keep a more watchful eye on Yifan, which granted would probably cause the fan service stuff to go up but he was more than sure that he could put up with it. Plus if Joonmyun knew what was going on with the dragon of EXO then Suho the guardian would know as well and that could mean the difference between watching his friend dying in front of him or making sure that he got on the right flight to get home.

Joonmyun nodded, “Okay. But if you cause any problems because of this I will kick your , Yifan and if you don’t stop when I tell you too then I’ll kick your twice as hard.”

“Is that promise?” a little cheek came from the other and Joonmyun leapt at the taller man, pinning him to the balcony and proceeded to give him the biggest and longest tickle attack that he could muster.

Eventually after several very loud knocks on the windows from both the rooms, the two leaders quietened down and just lay in one another’s arms, staring up at the stars together as friends.

“Hey Joonmyun?” Yifan asked after a long while.

“Hmm?” Joonmyun replied, threading his fingers lightly with the tall giants next to him.

“If my heart should fail...” there came the sound of swallowing, “You will look after them all right?”

Turning to look at the elder, Joonmyun sighed gently and reached across with his small fingers to brush away Yifan’s tears, “You know I will. I will always look after them.”

Once again Yifan ended up in Joonmyun’s arms, face buried in the others chest as he just silently cried out his fears of dying and leaving behind the eleven boys he loved as his own family.   

Authors babble

Well finally got around to getting this sorted out and phew am I glad to be here. Is it me or does this feel really Sukris/Kriho territory? Hmm it may end up with a little but not a lot, or we'll see what happens with my crazy mind. 

anyways, a BIG thank you once again to everyone who has subscribed and upvoted and stuff. Feel free to comment and tell me off once again for putting Kris/Yifan through this but this will be a fair bit happier than Heart Attack I promise. Hopefully' you'll all stick around and I'll be seeing you soon ^^