I found my way to the greenhouse once again. It was still the first day of classes but I didn’t have the strength to stay in our classroom not when almost all of the people are looking at the new girl with pure admiration. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Yu Se Na – as much as I want to listen to what other people thinks of her, a bigger part of me was afraid to know that she might be more than she is showing. Was she smart? Was she talented? What if she was better than me? I couldn’t help but think.

It was my insecurity telling me that she was but I had to find that out by myself. After all, I don’t play cheap. Krystal Jung always plays cleanly. I sighed and rubbed my temples. It was just the first day yet I’m having this problem already. Shouldn’t I be preparing or reading in advance what we’ll tackle for the next days? This isn’t like me. I wasn’t the one who needed to get nervous about a new student, she was the one supposed to be afraid that it was going to be me she’s going to compete with.

I looked around and couldn’t help but admire how beautiful the greenhouse had become. When I first came here, this wasn’t fully developed yet. The plants were barely blooming because of lack of care but now, it was astonishing how it became. I smiled knowing I contributed to this because this used to be the only place that could console my sadness.

When I first arrived here at Korea, it felt too surreal… but nice. Kai made that possible for me but now that he was gone, it was as if I was Krystal Jung once again. That arrogant that first came here. I was no longer the Jung Soo Jung he dearly loved. I wanted to cry at the thought of it but I decided not to. 3 years had already passed and I shouldn’t even think about him but who was I kidding? He still invaded my mind every day. I can’t even lie about that. I don’t intend to.

I slowly toured the place and watched where the daisies bloomed. It had always been my hiding spot for Kai’s shoes back then. Since they were too blooming, too beautiful, we would always end up watching it and not finding the shoes again. The greenhouse’s caretaker used to scold us for that but now, it was all in the past.

“Jung Soo Jung, where did you hide my shoes again?” Kai shouted in annoyance but I kept a straight face on,

“I didn’t hide them this time! I promise!” I crossed my arms defensively and widened my eyes dramatically for effect but he knew better than to be fooled by his girlfriend, who had many tricks in her sleeves,

“Then who hid them? Gnomes?” he asked and glared at me,

“Maybe it is them! I swear it wasn’t me this time!” I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous I just sounded but I didn’t want to break my act that soon. It was too early to feel guilty and Kai wasn’t even that angry yet. Heck he might not even be angry. I wrinkled my nose and tilted my head, “Kim Jong In, maybe they do really come to life and they hid it,” I added and turned around to hide my laugh because I couldn’t hold it any longer,

His next action surprised me, my back was completely soaked by cold water now because he just turned the hose on. I turned around in disbelief and stared at him dumbfounded.

“What the hell was that?” I asked and shivered at the cold that attacked me,

“Revenge for hiding my shoes,” he just poked his tongue out and turned the water on again and aimed at me but I wasn’t going to let him take advantage so I immediately ran towards him and hugged him tightly. He just laughed loudly and proceeded on soaking us both in water but everything else didn’t matter. It was only us.

“You call this revenge?” I asked and looked up at him,

“Yeah. Didn’t you know that revenge is sweet?” he was staring at my lips and I couldn’t help but do the first move and kiss him immediately. He didn’t waste time and pulled me close to him and kissed me back. It started as a banter but now? It was a full blown make out by Kim Jong In and Jung Soo Jung. Rated SPG.

I laughed softly and touched my lips as if it had only been yesterday.

My eyes soon landed on my bag which I brought with me and on top of it was my diary, I couldn’t help but smile. Was it a sign for me to write again? After such a long time? Grabbing my pen from my pockets, I quickly sat on the floor and started writing.

Dear Diary,

It’s been long huh? I don’t even know what to write. All I could think of right now is Kim Jong In. I’ve asked myself a thousand times… no, a million times why it’s still him then I could never answer myself. He’s just him. Mysterious but lovable Kim Jong In. There’s this new girl today and I heard her name was Yu Se Na. She’s a transferee from Seoul University. Why did she have to transfer? Kai was giving her his utmost attention and it was a bugger. I didn’t want to see him look at someone like that other than me. Will he bring her here too? Please no… I-

I dropped my pen startled when I heard a loud bam. Someone probably went inside the greenhouse but it was class hours and it was clear to all students that no one must go inside unless it’s for school activities and I absolutely made sure that no one would disturb this place in any way. Noise pollution isn’t allowed as well.

The next thing I heard was giggling. I stood up and scoffed. Did this girl think she can get away with this? I was ready to show my face them but when I turned around, no one was there. Where were they? I huffed and searched the gigantic place only to find… the ever mighty Kai. It wouldn’t take a genius to guess who he brought with her. I wanted to cry instantly but I bit my lip and forced myself to stay quiet and hidden from the couple.

But then just like any other movie scenes, I stumbled upon something and crashed on the floor with a loud thud.

“Is someone there?” he called out but I kept quiet,

He can’t find out that I’m here. Not like this. Not with her.

“There’s no such thing as ghosts right?” the new girl whimpered,

Whimpered? ! I really wanted to storm and face them but my ankle made it difficult for me to do so. I couldn’t even move my feet. First day of class and a sprained ankle? This might actually be the worst day of my life. No Kai. No ice skating. What was I supposed to do then? Fret about his new found love life and bawl my eyes out? I wanted to scream. I wanted to thrash around but I couldn’t do so. I didn’t want to.

I stood up with much difficulty and forced myself to get my stuff and secretly get out of this hell hole but it looked like I was like a deer caught in a headlight. When I turned around, they stood right there and looked at me. I kept my face stoic for obvious reasons. Krystal Jung isn’t weak. She’s strong and hell will freeze over if she shows how fragile she really is.

The thing about love is when I see him, it all comes back running to me. The memories, the stupid feelings and most of all, the closeness that I’m missing. Followed by the traces of sad happenings that we both encountered. Both were painful to me and it was unnerving to stand in front of them.

“Soo- Krystal?” So I’m back to Krystal now huh?

I raised an eyebrow at the both of them and tried to take a step but my foot betrayed me and I immediately crashed at the floor again. He quickly moved and aided me by lifting me up in a bridal style and ran outside leaving the poor girl behind.

“You didn’t have to do this,” I whispered and forced a smile, “I could’ve handled it myself,” I added and closed my eyes,

Tearing up isn’t always part of the plan but I still did. My tears cascaded on my face flawlessly and I couldn’t help but sob in his arms. It was so damn hard not to.

“Stop crying, Krystal,” as soon as our eyes met, I wish the ground could just swallow me alive but wishes don’t come true do they?

“What happened?” the nurse gasped,

“She probably just sprained her ankle. An ice pack will do,” he commanded and looked at me, “And you, don’t you dare leave this place until it gets better. Don’t be so stubborn and listen, Krystal,” he sighed and rubbed his eyebrows, a sign that he was worried and annoyed,

He used to do that when I made something bad. I guess things never really change.

With that, he walked outside leaving me with the nurse who was busy getting an ice pack from her supplies whereas I was too busy looking at the door. I laughed bitterly… Is it going to be like this until it ends? When’s the end anyway? So I could just fast forward my life and finally end it. I clutched my chest painfully and continued crying.