I have to tell him now.

It’s been a year since we started talking,

But he still doesn’t know the most important thing.

I’m gay.

I’m scared.

What if he stops talking to me?

What if he hates me?

What if he thinks of me differently?

What if he starts bullying me?

I don’t want him to be telling me that I shouldn’t be born.

That it’s unnatural.

Luhan,

I say when he answers the phone.

Hi Sehun!

He responds cheerfully.

I have something important to tell you.

Yeah? I’m all ears.

Please don’t leave me when I do,

But I understand if you do.

I sigh.

Why would I do that? Sehun, what is it?

I take a deep breath and then blurt it out.

I’m gay.

There’s silence on the other line.

He’s going to leave me.

He hates me.

I just lost my friend.

I begin to cry like a baby and hang up.

I couldn’t bear to listen to his harsh words.

It would hurt me too much.

I cried the entire night.

I didn’t go to school for that week.

Luhan tried to keep calling me,

But I hung up.

He tried to text me, but I blocked him.

I was ruined.