Saturday.

Luhan visited my house on Saturday.

Luhan’s here,

Mom called up.

Why?

I shut the door and locked it.

I don’t want to see him

Ever

Again.

Sehun,

Luhan was knocking on my door.

I stay silent,

Hoping he will think I’m not there.

I wish I weren’t.

I want to disappear.

Sehun, I want to talk to you.

No,

I shouted.

Go away!

Sehun,

GO AWAY.

Tears begin falling.

I am such a baby.

I’m telling myself,

Get up,

Let him in,

He’ll comfort you.

My body doesn’t move.

Sehun,

Luhan called my name softly.

Make him go away.

Make it go away.

Make it all go away.

I don’t want to anymore.

I can’t deal with it.

I don’t know how to deal with it.

Gay, straight, bi,

I don’t care what you are.

You are my friend no matter what.

Please,

Open the door.

With renewed energy,

I get up,

And open the door.

I am tackled with a hug.

I hug back,

Then begin to cry again.

Luhan comforts me,

Patting my back,

Telling me everything will be alright.

His soothing voice calms me.

I love him so much,

But I can’t tell him that.

My mood becomes gloomy again,

But I hide it,

And smile.

A smile for Luhan.