8th December 2012

When I had accidentally hit the console table at the hallway downstairs in the morning in mid March and our family picture dropped to the floor, I had a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt worse when I turned the frame and saw the crack on the center of Dad's face. But I didn't want to jinx anything so I kept my silence and decided to just place the frame where it belonged, although I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole day.

Dad was in Beijing for business that time, and he wasn't alone. He was with Uncle Chanyeol, Uncle Luhan, Uncle Tao and Uncle Baekhyun. I know that Dad was in good hands. But I was still anxious. Even Chen noticed, but he didn't say much after a simple "Are you okay?" but I can tell that my brother was worried about me. Even Chanhyun, whom I broke up with a few days prior, noticed how edgy I was and threw all our problems aside to console me. 

But the thing was, I didn't know why I was suddenly on edge. I kept picturing the crack on the frame but I didn't want to believe in superstitious. So I tried to distract myself with my studies and talking our problems out with Chanhyun for the first few days, but Dad's face kept coming back to me. I couldn't stop thinking about that morning's insident, and even after getting back with Chanhyun three days later, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

When I woke up with Chanhyun assuring me that everything was okay the next day, I knew something bad was going to happen. The first person that came into mind was Dad, and I cried to Chanhyun about it. So he called his mother and told her to check up on our fathers in China. But when she called back, she brought us bad news. Dad and Uncle Tao got into an accident! They were on their way to the office when it happened. As much as I don't want to remember it, I kept replaying Aunt Sohee's words in my head. Hopefully, I can stop thinking about it now that I'm going to write it down.

Apparently, someone was driving for them while Uncle Tao was at the passenger seat and Dad sat at the back, like usual. The driver dropped something at his feet and had stupidly went down to retrieve it, causing the car to swerve and go turtleback. Uncle Tao didn't get hurt much while the driver unfortunately passed away (rest in peace, buddy... I forgive you) and Dad... he could've died.