When Geng comes home, he’s already tired and all he wants to do is go to bed and take a twenty hour long nap. But since Leeteuk has gone to Australia with Siwon and Kangin for some reason—he didn’t really understand what Leeteuk was muttering about but he caught something about photo shoots with wombats—he’s been put in charge of the rest of the band. Miraculously, everyone has been rather well-behaved.

Everyone.

Including Kyuhyun.

And that’s what makes him nervous.

He steels himself, then slowly pulls the door open and glances around. The house is still standing and no one is crying or screaming or throwing anything. Geng ventures further inside. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook are bent over Kyuhyun’s laptop, Eunhyuk and Donghae are distracted by a lava lamp, and the others are scattered throughout the house. Geng goes up to his room and finds Heechul already curled up in bed with Heebum, wrapped up in a Frozen blanket. With a fond smile, Geng slowly approaches Heechul and reaches out to tuck some of his bangs behind his ear.

He casts a glance back at the doorway. He looks back at Heechul. Surely a nap couldn’t hurt? Everything seems to be going smoothly…

He stretches out beside Heechul, and with one last glance at the doorway, settles down and drifts off to sleep.

He is awoken not even half an hour later to screams and sobs and the distinct sound of broken glass. Geng instantly bolts up and looks beside him. No Heechul.

Well, .

Geng briefly considers just pretending that he can’t hear what’s going on and just going back to sleep. Unfortunately, that would be irresponsible and he promised Leeteuk he would do his best to look out for the rest of the members.

Reluctantly, Geng forces himself to get to his feet and starts walking towards the door.

He makes it all the way to the kitchen before a distraught Heechul barrels straight into him, sobbing hysterically. Geng wraps his arms around him instinctively. Across from him, Ryeowook is standing by the kitchen table silently weeping, his eyes wide and frightened.

“What happened?” Geng frowns, gently Heechul’s hair.

“I’m sorry, hyung!” Ryeowook cries. “I didn’t mean to upset or hurt anyone. Kyuhyun was just showing me recipes and there was a page on how to cut up and grill a pineapple and—“

“I’ll never let anyone cut you up and grill you,” Heechul manages through his sobs, clutching even tighter to Geng. “Even if you turn into a pineapple and never change back for the whole rest of your life.” He draws back and looks at Geng, sniffling. “He wanted to turn you upside down to make sure all the sugar in you was evenly distributed!”

“I would never do that to Geng!” Ryeowook protests, crying even harder. “I love Geng-Hyung. Please, hyung, you have to believe me!” Geng scowls. Ryeowook takes one look at him and cowers even more.

“No, no, not you,” Geng murmurs gently, softening his gaze as he looks at the younger boy. “It’s all right, Wookie. I know. C’mere.” Ryeowook hesitantly approaches him, and Geng pulls him closer to his side, running a hand through his hair comfortingly. Heechul shuffles a bit to the other side accommodatingly. Geng looks down at them both fondly, before he steels himself once again. “Where is Kyuhyun?” Ryeowook points and Kyuhyun cackles from where he is standing in a corner, holding his phone.

“Best. Vine. Ever. So much better than Eunhyuk and his stupid rain,” Kyuhyun says with a smirk. “I’m going to get so many comments. Seriously, Wookie, you should see your face when Heechul finds out what you’re reading.” Heechul whirls around to launch himself at Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun is already sprinting out of the room yelling desperately for Donghae and Eunhyuk.

“I’ll kill him!” Heechul growls.

“No, you won’t,” Geng says sensibly, pressing his lips to the top of Heechul’s head. “I need you here with me to make sure I don’t get chopped up in case I pineapple again.”

Heechul raises his eyes to meet Geng’s, slowly reaching up to place his hand on the side of Geng’s face. Geng raises an eyebrow at him curiously.

“You won’t so much as have one prickle removed as long as I’m here,” Heechul tells him, his voice tender but serious. Maybe this’ll all be okay, Geng thinks, relief washing over him. But then, a feral grin spreads across Heechul’s features, and Geng’s stomach sinks. “But I’m still going to kill Kyuhyun. I’m an excellent multi-tasker.” Before Geng can react, Heechul takes off after Kyuhyun, shouting like a madman.

Geng groans and rubs his temples. How does Leeteuk put up with this?

With a soft sympathetic smile, Ryeowook pats him on the shoulder and makes a quick getaway.

“Good luck Hyung,” he calls over his shoulder as he flees the room.

Geng sighs. He’s going to need it.