Leeteuk sighs, gently brushing a strand of Heechul’s hair away from his face. Earlier that day, Heechul had collapsed, sending everyone in Super Junior into a panic. However, once he had been hospitalized, the doctors had assured them that it was exhaustion and that with lots of rest and pampering, Heechul would make a full recovery.

                Heechul mumbles and his eyes slowly crack open.

                “Hey, Chullie,” Leeteuk says. Heechul looks at him, seeming uncharacteristically confused and unsettled. “Hey, it’s ok. You’re at the hospital, but you can go home soon. How do you feel?” Heechul’s already fallen back asleep. Leeteuk smiles at him and kisses him on the forehead and settles back to keep him company until the doctor discharges him. The rest of the band, except for Geng, have been waiting at a nearby coffee shop for news. Kangin and Siwon both promised they would look after the others for him. Although…Leeteuk frowned. He had not seen Geng for a long time. He suddenly bolted up.

                “Oh no…no, no. Not here,” Leeteuk gets up, swearing under his breath. He runs out of the room, nearly plowing into a very pretty nurse. “Hey, have you seen a pineapple?” he asks. She frowns.

                “Like, in general, or recently?”

                “Like…somewhere in this hospital?”

                “Uh…no…” she looks at him strangely. “The psychiatric wing is in the east wing,” she says helpfully.

                “No, you don’t understand. I have to find this pineapple.” He starts running again, ducking into every bathroom, every waiting room, everywhere he thinks a distraught Geng may accidentally pineappled. He has absolutely no luck and reaches for his phone.

                “Hey, Teukie, how’s Heechul?” Kangin asks, answering his call.

                “I lost the pineapple.”

                “Well…f-ck,” comes the remarkably unhelpful response. Leeteuk’s nearly in tears. “Sh-t, what if he just got eat—”

                “KANGIN. WE HAVE TO FIND HIM.” Kangin sighs, but agrees to send out a search party.

                Within an hour, Super Junior is unleashed throughout the hospital on a mad search for a pineapple. They’re frequently interrupted by staff and patients to sign autographs. Siwon, Sungmin, and Donghae stumble upon the pediatric ward and resume the search carrying adorable little assistants. Only it appears that Donghae’s child doesn’t quite know what a pineapple is.

                “Pineapple!” he shrieks. Donghae chuckles.

                “No, that’s a feather duster,” he explains to the tiny boy riding on his shoulders. “But you’re really good at finding things!” The little boy beams with pride, then points to a light switch. “Pineapple!”

Donghae looks and realizes that it is in fact a pineapple shaped light switch. He frowns, then calls leader just to make sure that Geng can’t turn into light switches that look like pineapples.

                Leeteuk drags himself back to Heechul’s room. He’s glad he’s still unconscious, because Heechul does not need to know that his boyfriend is now a missing tropical fruit. He sits down beside him and rests his head in his hands.

                Suddenly, the door flies open and Yesung and Ryeowook come in, carrying entire bagfuls of pineapples.

                “We raided the kitchen,” Yesung says, completely out of breath. Apparently he’s been doing a lot of running. “We found all of these. Do you think one of them is Geng?”

                “I hope so.”

                “Can you get Heechul to wake up to ask them?”  Yesung asks. Leeteuk looks horrified. “Come on, he’s going to be way too tired to kill you once he knows we lost Geng. It might be the only way.” Leeteuk sighs, then reluctantly starts to shake Heechul awake. Heechul mumbles, then slowly forces his eyes open.

                “Hyung?”

                “Hey,” Leeteuk murmurs. He steels himself. “Hey, can I ask you a favor. We’ve got some pineapples here and we think one is Geng, but we’re not sure. Can you check?” Heechul blinks, looking lost. Then he turns his head and looks at the pineapples, then closes his eyes.

                “Not Geng.” Leeteuk pales. “Geng’s at home.”

                “Home?”

                “Yeah. He had to go water the plants and he’s been teaching the junior high school plants Mandarin—they have one hour of immersive learning a day. It’s important that the plants be able to compete in global markets when they’re older.” He yawns. “Oh, the pineapple you’re holding, Ryeowook? She thinks you’re cute. Would you mind giving her an autograph?” With that he rolls back and goes to sleep. Leeteuk stares at Heechul, then brings his hands to his face and sobs. Yesung pats him on the back while Ryeowook dutifully begins to sign autographs for the pineapples.