Chapter Six: Tough Ones

When Junmyeon walked Mi Ja back to her room, assisting her as she held on to his arms, he found Soojung standing outside the door of their hotel room, looking completely restless and like Mi Ja—depressed. It was already 9 that time, and Junmyeon had an appointment marked for roaming around the hotel to check on students at 10. He leaned forward to whisper something to Mi Ja, and after that he turned around from them to walk back to the other wing. Mi Ja’s eyes followed his back diluting in every step he took.

Mi Ja jumped off from her original position and staggered towards Soojung. She spread her arms at her and laughed, “It wasn’t for me,” She smiled sheepishly, with a disheveled hair and a smudged makeup, and laughed weakly, “It wasn’t for me, Soojung. He didn’t even remember.” Mi Ja wasn’t even thinking right; her thoughts are in a mess. But one thing for sure, she wanted Soojung to comfort her right now. Their friendship just bloomed almost a day ago, but at least, she really wanted a hug right now.

Soojung looked at her with pity as the quietness stayed lingering in the air. She wanted to embrace the frail girl standing in front of her. She wanted to tell her it’s going to be okay. She wanted to pat her head and give her a reassuring smile, that even in silence, she knew that she had told Mi Ja that it’s alright. But she didn’t do any of it. She chickened out and ended up minimizing all the possible chances into one solution. Soojung sighed and said emptily, “It’s to be expected. Men normally don’t even remember their own birthdays, and same thing with men who’re in love. They can only recall dates connected to the girl they love.”

Mi Ja got astonished by her response but didn’t dig up a deeper hole for her to fall down and gain a bigger impact on her feelings. She smiled tightly and walked past through Soojung to enter the room. She didn’t talk back, and she tried forgetting that the only person who accepted her today was Junmyeon. Taehyung forgot her birthday and Soojung wasn’t there when Mi Ja needed her—or they both weren’t there when they needed each other.

Soojung changed her mind. She wanted to stop being selfish and comfort Mi Ja, but when Soojung turned around to grab her shoulders, it was already too late. Mi Ja has already retired for the night, still wearing her dress, while her head dug deep into her pillow. Soojung wasn’t even sure if she was sleeping already, because she was sure she can hear muffled sobs. So, she tiptoed and peeked over. Only to end up meeting eyes with Mi Ja’s puffy red orbs.

Soojung muttered, “I was rude. And I’m sorry. But save your tears, it won’t do you any good. I don’t know who Taehyung is but whoever he is,” she breathed in and huffs out, “He is a ed-up bastard.” Soojung’s words sounded sincere, even without the last line, and her voice showed deep concern. She folded her arms and rested them on Mi Ja’s pillow, which wasn’t exactly easy because she had to step on her bed and on one of the steps of the stairs to reach it. Mi Ja chuckled softly and shook her head, “Thanks. That’s comforting.”

“You should rest now,” Soojung patted her head, “Tomorrow, I’m going to apply makeup on you early in the morning so they wouldn’t see your puffy eyes. You’ll look really, really ugly; like way uglier than how you usually look. Ew. I wouldn’t want that for my reputation, so… sleep.”

“Popsicle ,” Mi Ja’s eyes squinted at her before her eyelids slowly dropped. Then before she completely dozed off, Mi Ja muttered, “Good night, Soojung.”

Soojung smiled apologetically, because she didn’t seem like she had already forgiven herself for being so irresponsibly cold to Mi Ja earlier, and nodded, “Good night, Mi Ja.” She jumped down into the ground before throwing herself to bed. Before closing her eyes, she tucked herself to bed and silently, really silently, cried herself to sleep.

The third day of their field trip has just started with Soojung throwing a bed on Mi Ja’s face early in the morning because the alarm clock still hasn’t rung and yet Taehyung’s already knocking on their door. Rather than knocking, it seems like he’s pounding on it; putting all his frustrations on the door. Soojung’s mood worsens as Taehyung doesn’t stop doing so, in the same exact rhythm, and as Mi Ja doesn’t even want to wake up.

“Mi Ja! Mi Ja, come out!” Taehyung yells from outside, and judging from his commanding voice, Soojung could tell that Taehyung’s furious and that he finally remembers. She rocks the whole bed with all her strength and murmurs loudly and directly to Mi Ja’s ears, “Wake up, you asswipe! The ed-up bastard’s causing a tantrum outside.”

Mi Ja moans and then gets up instantly as the things finally finish processing in her mind. She quickly steps off her bed and jumps from the upper deck to the floor. Her knees hit the floor, serving as her support, and then she prances towards the door. Before opening it, she rubs her face to remove upsetting things on her face and abruptly straightened her hair. She’s still wearing her dress, and still wearing the smudged makeup, and her efforts of removing it by wiping with bare hands doesn’t do anything at all—except, maybe, worsen it. She swings open the door, and there he is.

The boy who broke her heart, standing in front of her with his hand still hanging in the air because he was just about to send another batch of pounding to the door when the opening of the door all of a sudden sends a halt to his actions and freezes him. He stares at her, and guilt suddenly swallows him whole. He studies her appearance, not saying anything, as his eyes gaze upon her crumpled dress and messily smeared face. His heart trembles as his eyes land on her messed up mascara. Before he completely dies of guilt, she clears without uttering a word, raises her eyebrow to pretend as if everything’s okay and as if she’s just asking why he’s bothering them too early in the morning.

Taehyung sighs and puts his hands on her shoulders. He pulls her in for a hug and then whispers to her ear huskily, “Happy belated birthday.” His soft cotton shirt that smelled like toothpaste and his messily worn jeans tell Mi Ja that he rushed here just to be able to tell her that. It somehow makes her happy, but when the word belated reverberates inside her head like a gunshot in a closed dome, it doesn’t make her smile. Instead, it reminds her of yesterday. And it should be alright if yesterday went fine; but it didn’t.

“That’s sad,” Mi Ja laughs, although she’s really being honest, “I never expected my best friend to be addressing me with a ‘belated’ word sandwiched between the original greeting. That’s sad, you know?” She chuckles, but her tears suddenly presses out of her eyes again. Somehow, the moment is suffocating her but she manages to pull back the warm beads of tears from b down her eyes.

Taehyung doesn’t pull away from the hug and continuously whispers unfeigned apologies, and if anybody could hear him at this moment, Mi Ja doubts that anyone would doubt his sincerity. Mi Ja has to break away from the embrace saying she has to prepare for the long day ahead, and partly because seeing Taehyung only reminds her of her 18th birthday. She badly has to break away because if they don’t separate instantly, then Mi Ja’s realest insights might slip out of her tongue. Taehyung lets her go from the embrace, but he doesn’t stop gripping on her shoulders. He uses this as an opportunity to lean forward and softly peck her forehead. He mumbles, “I’ll make it up to you.”

“That wouldn’t change anything,” Mi Ja smiles bitterly, wiping off the dampness of his kiss on her forehead although she feels extremely happy about it. But she has to show him that she’s angry, that she still hasn’t forgiven him completely, and that she’s sad. Actually, it’s the last reason that affected her most; she’s lonely that he chose Jinri, who he has only known for barely 2 years, over Mi Ja, who has been beside him for almost their whole lifetime.

“Wouldn’t it?” Taehyung gulps worriedly, scratching the back of his neck and smiling at her apologetically. Mi Ja turns around and says quietly, “Taehyung, go back now. We have to go prepare. You know that boys are forbidden to lurk around in this wing, right?” She’s about to slam the door close, but Taehyung places his foot forward and blocks it from swinging.

“You’re still mad?”

Mi Ja stares at his dark brown eyes for a short while, and then grimly attempts to let out a laughter, “I’m not,” and she wants to yell at this moment, ‘And I hate how I can’t be mad. I hate how I can only feel sorry for myself even if you should be blamed. I hate how much I’m wallowing in self-pity and loneliness.’ But she doesn’t, she stops the urge and slams the door before it happens. She plants her ear on the door to hear if Taehyung decides to tail their conversation, but he doesn’t. Instead, she hears soft marching sounds on the carpeted ground, slowly fading away.

When Mi Ja turns back her attention into the room, she sees Soojung standing in front of her with her hands on her hips. She scoffs, “You, little girl, are so lame.”

“Oh, good morning to you, too, ,” says Mi Ja before pulling her towel and bathrobe from the back of the door and running towards the bathroom. She enters the clomped room that seems narrower and more suffocating than how it just was yesterday when she was preparing for last night’s event. She closes her eyes and lets the water drip down her body, cooling he