Chapter 3 - Worst day of my life

Always in my heart

Disclaimer: Below picture doesn't belong to me! Now that that's outta the way, enjoy~

                                                                                           

Chapter 3 - Worst day of my life

I couldn't believe my ears. My brain entirely shut down. All that's playing in my mind was " baekhyun proposed to her ".

Suho hyung called me. I knew he was hiding something from me. I should've trusted my instinct. I should've went and.... 
Went and what? what could I have done? Nothing. There was nothing I could do. He continued saying something like he's sorry he shouldn't have delayed in telling me. How he knew about it blah blah blah to be honest, I'm not listening anymore.

" hey chanyeol. Hey are you okay? Chanyeol? CHANYEOL! "
" Huh uh what? "
" Chanyeol.... your voice.... you. Are you crying? "
" huh what voice? No? I'm not- "


I realized something was flowing down my cheeks. I touched it... wet. Water... no. Its tears. I'm crying. What the hell chanyeol. You. How can you cry.


".... hey chanyeol, I'm coming over now "
" NO. "
" /gasp/ "
" uh sorry hyung.... I .... want to be alone. Please. "
" but Chan yeol.... "
" Please. "
" okay okay.... just... don't do anything stupid. I'm worried about you "
" thanks hyung. I won't.. "
" okay bye.... "
" bye "

My world is crumbling. Bits and pieces. It doesn't make sense. How is he able to do this. Baekhyun since when are u dating her? When you're with me you're already with her aren't you. ing bastard. ing. Idiotic. Bastard. Why do I still love you so much, even though you cheated on me like that. I hate you. I hate you so much. I hate you so much, park chanyeol.. He cheated on you but you still love him so. What has gotten into you. Look at yourself. Because of him, you're at this state. Get it together chanyeol. 

I shouldn't have met him. I shouldn't have been in exo. I shouldn't have joined sment. I shouldn't have talked to baekhyun that day. And I shouldn't have confessed to him. I shouldn't have. Loved him.

And now my boyfriend... no ex-boyfriend proposed to a girl. My baekhyun proposed to a girl. ING....... WHY.

I dialed baekhyun's number. 
First ring....
Second ring....
Third ring... 
Still no answer.

I tried again. Again. Again.... and again.... I've tried so many times until I stopped counting halfway. 
I breathe a deep breath, and another try.

" The customer you have reached is not available. Please try again later "

. URGGGHHHH.
I guess.... I guess I can never win a girl. No matter how I try, how could I. How could I win over a girl. I'll never be able to do that. Gay relationships will never truly be approved in the society. If that's the case, won't baekhyun be happier with her? So I should let him go....... right....?
Ouch. I just felt a thousand arrows shot through me. My heart aches. It hurts..it hurts so much. It hurts so much baekhyun. I can't stand it. I can't stand losing you baekhyun... come back.

As my tears flowed silently but endlessly, I prayed for a wish. A wish that will never be fulfilled. I knew. No matter what I do, I'll never save 'Baekyeol' . I'll never be able to save this relationship anymore. I should just let him go.

For the next few days , I kept myself in my room. Deep in thoughts. The only time I left my room is for the bathroom or for food and drink. Though I have no appetite but joonma insisted and I'm sure everyone knows how naggy he'll be. And especially with that stare, you know you can't go against him. But after that I went back to my room. That's how we silently had an agreement. I come out to eat while he can't complain about me returning after I'm done.

Nowadays I felt like I have no point in being here. All my happiness, all my dream , everything has been stripped away. I can't stop thinking about leaving here. Leaving baekhyun. But what will the members say? I'm scared to tell them. We are after all a band. However, are we really one like before? Kris left. Exo isn't 12 anymore. So what difference does it make if I leave too right? They can continue as 10. It's better like that. They are back to even numbers. It'll make everyone job easier and happier. I mean, nobody is gonna need me anyway. Not baekhyun, not anybody. But suho... suho has been taking care of me... I ... should tell him...

I walked to suho's room. I knocked twice and open the door. 
" hyung... uh can I talk to you? "

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viyeolent #1
Chapter 6: DID YOU SERIOUSLY SUDDENLY MAKE A MOOD WHIPLASH? Damn it made sense you know but also at the same time Baek was being an idiot for having ever thought that he could just say yes to a woman (dying or what not) and just bounce back into Chanyeol's arms after the whole affair and the explaining he'd do in the future. Ofc it's a matter of humanity to grant a dying request but is it truly worth it to scar the love of your life for what could wasily be the remainder of his life? Plus they had dreams, man. Putting the group at risk for a woman who shouldn't even be related to it is just..OTL and don't get me started on that last part. It started out so happy and ofc they made up and made out, but my point still stands that the doubt will never go away from PCY's mind now. And that hurts. A hell lot. It's relatively happy, but damn that last paragraph had so many implications.

Moving on. Bro I was confused by the format :( Idk if it's just the mobile thing but the text displayed inconsistently. Different font sizes every other sentence. I found it distracting :( Won't comment on grammar bc I totally know you can edit this to be better and because you ARE better. Dialogues in italics were also distracting? Since typically it's plain text and italics are reserved for thoughts and the like. I found some sentences that could've used a comma somewhere in them (it's hard to process a sentence with lots of ideas).

The monologues were great. Perhaps they should've used the italics instead? Oh and it's a minor thing but do capitalize when necessary, such as the words after a period. Capitalization for emphasis is okay tho.

All in all GOOD JON BRO :D I liked it. I loved angry PCy and I loved his angsty monologues. Surprisingly I liked (in the loosest meaning of the word) Taeyeon too. Peace out.
yifannie #2
Chapter 6: Okayyyyy let's get to the serious part :)

First off, I'm kinda ugh when I see the name but that's not the point I'm gonna talk abt here. It's sad when someone you love is suddenly reported having a scandal loving someone else AND I FREAKING HATE THAT because I kind of can imagine how Chanyeol would feel like in real life though when this happened. :( And of course, I didn't expect that would be the reason why Baekhyun dated Taeyeon, but again, he should've told Chanyeol the reason and not made him confused bc omg BAEKHYUN YOUR CHANYEOL IS INNOCENT HAVE SOME MERCY. So far, I like this story! It's good since you said it't the only fic you've written and this is actually great for a first time writer like you! :)) I'm gonna wait for Giann to leave some constructive comments before I post another one :''''D
yifannie #3
Chapter 6: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHQHQ OMGGGG IM LAUGHING AT THE LAST PART OF DIALOGUES BETWEEN YOU AND EXO ORZ BRB LAUGHING FIRST
viyeolent #4
Chapter 4: So now it's been denial, then anger, and now anger AND self-depreciation. Poor PCY. He has a point with regards to being angry, hell who wouldn't be angry to suddenly discover your boyfriend just replaced you with a woman. No clarifications. No personal talks. Even an excuse would've been better than nothing. At this point Baek is being too much of an to keep going on without expecting his relationship (or what's left of it) with Chanyeol to bleed into that of their group's. But then giving up on everyone just because of an insensitive ex? Hmmm. Debatable. Justifiable, but debatable.
viyeolent #5
Chapter 2: Okay this chapter tugged my heart because damn PCY was kept in the dark. His mental monologue was hella hot but also sad. I loved especially that he even questioned himself for possibly having done less than what was ideal for Baekhyun. Asking yourself things like that is always sad. And the fact that he can't even remember when they last kissed, and the fact that they haven't officially broken up is ing painful.
deliciousoppars #6
Chapter 6: I love u
marcybacon #7
Chapter 6: Lol awesome ending,loved it
kimhyosun #8
Chapter 6: Loved this fanfic ! Lol the end XD
kimhyosun #9
Chapter 5: Cant wait for the next chapter !
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