Once I am in the taxi, heading to YG, I begin to think about what just happened. I have not seen Jessica since that one evening, so to see her like that was terrible.

  I never see myself as one to hold grudges, but after seeing her face, I could physically feel the anger coursing through my veins; making its rounds around my heart, which had turned cold. She looked as icy as ever, but her hair is now blonde; just like she wanted.   I think back to when she debuted. Her group is fairly popular, and is made up of 9 girls; including herself. When I first saw her on television, I couldn't believe my eyes. I remember feeling like I wanted to cry, and I had to quickly change the channel as to hold in my emotions.   This was just after Hyuna had left; literally like a few weeks after, so I was still very fragile. Seeing Jessica on television; a part of me wanted to be happy for my old friend, but I just couldn't find it in myself.   Sometimes I feel as though the things I do in life are not good enough. Like, I could be doing so much more. I've always wanted to act; which is something that JY promised for me when I first signed my contract. Is that my something more?   Have you ever done something that you thought was incredible at the time, but later on you have looked back and thought,   "Could I have done more?"   My thoughts are interrupted as the driver tells me that we've reached our destination. I kindly thank him, before stepping out of the car and maki