MORE SADNESS... I promise it starts getting happier again in the next chapter or so!
Disclaimer: I have no idea how these awards work, and I don't know for certain what day they'll be on.
ALSO Slight spoilers for XenexianAG's Constellation...

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January 16th 2015

When Acid Teochii had been told they’d been nominated for the Best Newcomer Award at the Golden Disks, their hearts had practically exploded from joy, they’d danced around the dorm for days, excitement flooding every word… they’d been told back in November that it was happening, but they’d not been allowed to tell anyone really. Keeping it to themselves had been hard, especially when they found out that the group Hanni’s girlfriend was from, SM’s Polaris, was also nominated for the Best Newcomer Award.

They were pretty certain that Hanni and Jimin had spoken about it to each other about it, despite orders not to.

However, when the day of the award ceremony finally arrived, it was almost as if they no longer cared. They got ready for the event with heavy hearts, allowing the Co-ordination Noonas to look after them while dressing and doing their makeup for them. All the members stayed quiet and withdrawn, only speaking if spoken to.

It probably didn’t help matters that it was the day that Yue was finally being announced to the world as Acid Teochii’s new member. They knew what the public’s reaction would be - outrage, anger, mistrust and scandalous that their deceased member had been replaced so quickly. They knew that no matter how much they tried to convince the public that Yue had actually been accepted and added to the group before Hyo had died, they knew that the public wouldn’t accept it.

So they arrived at the event, fake smiled plastered onto their face for the red carpet as they walked up, the three girls in long, black dresses while the males were dressed in suits and tuxes. They smiled and acted excited, putting on an act for the cameras while they made their way into the event, but anyone who knew the members well knew that Acid Teochii’s hearts weren’t really in it, their smiles were fake, their excitement was put on for show… but no-one could judge them for it, not after having lost a friend less than 2 weeks previously.

CEO Lee had told the group that they didn’t have to attend the awards since it would be their first official appearance since the tragedy, but Myung had insisted they attend. It would have been bad publicity for them not to, even if they would have understood.

The members found their seats in synchronised silence, the group sitting between Polaris (Hanni was on the end, next to Jimin) and Symphon-EE(Yue was on the other end, sitting next to Sun-EE.) placing themselves in no particular order.

Their hearts weren’t in the night at all, they weren’t excited, they just felt… hollow. Jimin subtly clutched onto Hanni’s had while they sat through the majority of the awards.

They sat quietly through the award ceremonies, clapping when prompted and giving a fake smile whenever they saw a camera focused on them.

However, the winners of the Best Newcomer Award were soon announced.

“Okay, so,” The presenter started, taking the envelope. “This year, we have two winners of the Best Newcomer Award, out of 5 different nominees… Firstly, Polaris from SM!” The hall in which they sat exploded into cheers as the 6 member girl group stood, Jimin giving Hanni’s hand a reassuring squeeze as she did, before they walked over onto the stage, gathering onto it and taking the trophy. “And the second winner of the Best Newcomer Award is… Acid Teochii from Ace!” Once again, the hall erupted as Myung stared forward in shock, not quite registering what had just been said before Vann pushed him slightly to make him stand.

Slowly, the group rose, making their lethargic way up to the stage. The group of 11 tried to ignore the sympathetic stares as they went, but they couldn’t help but feel self conscious as they were watched. They gathered on stage, Myung bowing and accepting the award humbly.

Eunjung, the leader from Polaris, chuckled a little as she approached the microphone, shaking slightly from the nerves and excitement. “Wow,” she began. “I don’t know what to say! Thank you so much everyone who voted for us! We will do our best to continue to make good music and make you all proud! You won’t regret giving us this award, I promise you! Please look after us for our remaining comebacks!”

The crowd clapped and cheered for the newbie girl group, the 6 girls happily jumping on the spot, a few wiping emotional tears from their eyes. “I’m just happy I didn’t fall flat on my face while walking up here!” Chaerin exclaimed into the microphone, forcing a small smile onto Hanni’s face at his friend’s insane personality. He knew what Polaris were up to, trying to diffuse the tension on stage so Acid Teochii weren’t as in the limelight. Since the group had begun to bond, what with Jimin and Hanni dating and Eunjung and Myung slowly becoming friends as they bonded over being young leaders.

The host laughed a little, before turning to Myung.

“Would you like to say a few words, Myung?” He asked.

Myung hesitated for a second, looking towards the microphone as if he was being handed a gun. But slowly, surely, he accepted the microphone and turned towards the now hushed crowd. “Do you mind, Eunjung-ah? I don’t want to steal away your limelight…” At Eunjung’s small shake of the head, Myung turned towards the audience, taking a deep breath.

“Okay, as you all know… we’ve been through some…tough times recently. Back in August, I was shot on stage and spent a long time recovering from it. At the end of October, a member of the Acid Teochii family decided to leave us, and less than two weeks ago, the said member was found dead in his apartment.”

The shocked hush continued to stay over the hall, the silence almost deafening to the two groups on the stage. Hanni stayed tense, even when Jimin slowly made her way over, connecting their hands discreetly behind their backs so the crowd and the cameras couldn’t see.

“I’d just like to tell you all that I’m sorry. I’m sorry to my fellow members, we all lost a friend. I’m sorry to Hyo’s family who lost a son. I’m sorry to everyone in the Ace Dynasty, they all lost a colleague. I’m sorry to all of our friends, who have had to deal with all of us breaking down, slowly, one by one and falling into depression. I’m sorry to our manager, Namjoon, for having to put up with all of our problems. For the first group you managed, we haven’t been an easy one, I know. I’m also sorry to our fans, all of our fans out there who have dealt with our scandals, all of our fans who have supported and defended us no matter what.

“I’m sorry I’ve let you all down,” He continued, voice becoming thick with tears. “I plan to step down from the leader position, I haven’t been a very good one and I can’t look after my team very well. I’m so sorry to all of you. Thank you for this award, it means the world to us all. Thank you to Eunjung and the rest of Polaris, I know you were trying to be happy and joyful to keep the attention off us so we didn’t feel awkward. Thank you for all everyone has done for us all.” Myung bowed low, tears dripping off the end of his nose onto the floor. “I’m so sorry.”

The hall remained in a shocked silence as Myung handed the microphone back to the stunned host, before turning and making his way off the stage. Finally realising what their leader had said, the 10 remaining members hurried off after Myung, grabbing hold of his arm and pulling him out of the hall. They knew that there were going to be news reports about them leaving the event early after winning an award, but there were going to be news reports on Myung’s speech either way.

“Myung, what are you saying?” Cho exclaimed, pulling Myung to the side. She was trembling, stressed out and confused, tears flooding her own eyes as the words Myung had spoken on stage pierced her heart. “You can’t quit being the leader!”

“I can, Cho-noona,” Myung sighed, rubbing at his eyes behind his glasses. “I’m not cut out to be the leader, I’m too stressed and upset, I’m no good at it, I’m letting you all down.”

“You’re not letting us down, Myung-ah,” Sherlock told him with a frown. “You’re doing brilliantly.”

“Yeah,” Hope joined in, leaning on the wall beside the younger. “You’re doing amazingly, it’s us that are messing up, not you.”

Myung sniffed again, rubbing at his face, eyes stinging. “I just can’t do it, I’m not cut out for this, really I’m not. Vann would be a much better leader than I am, he’s the oldest and he looks after you all.”

“Have you spoken to CEO Lee about this?” Ae-Cha asked, her voice calm and soothing for the first time in weeks.

The blue headed boy nodded a little. “Yeah, he said he’ll see what he can do. Apparently he believes I’m doing great, but if it’s hurting me that much he’ll reconsider who the leader is. I just have to wait and see. It’s just… I don’t want to do it, I never wanted to be the leader.”

Jin leant over to Myung, resting his forehead on the younger’s shoulder. “I’m struggling too, Myung-ah, but trust me, stick with it and we’ll make it through. You can’t quit now.”

“I’m not quitting, hyung.” He smiled. “Just backing down from my post. You or Vann would be much better in the position than I am, you’re both more mature and you’d both find it easy to lead us all.”

“But neither of us are fluent in Korean, Myung.” Vann pointed out. “We may be close enough, but we’re not fluent. You’re more likable to the public, all of them love you and trust you.”

“But they shouldn’t trust me! I can’t do it! I killed Hyo!”

The entire hallway went silent, the members just staring at Myung.

“What…?” Marco whispered, approaching Myung. “What do you mean you killed him?”

“I couldn’t protect him, I couldn’t stop him from getting the hate, I couldn’t stop him from being bugged and bugged about his looks, I couldn’t protect him from the depression he fell into and I couldn’t protect him from the alcohol. As a leader, I’m meant to protect you all! He died because I didn’t protect him!” Tears were once again streaming down his face, sobs forcing themselves from his chest as he cried.

“Stop it.” Marco ordered, Myung flinching from the forcefulness in the man’s tone. “Stop that right now. This isn’t your fault, it was never your fault and you shouldn’t believe it is for a second. You need to calm down and stop hating yourself for something you couldn’t predict. It was Hyo that decided to leave, Hyo who decided to drink himself to oblivion, Hyo who passed out from the alcohol and choked to death. You couldn’t do anything to prevent it, you were in a different country for god’s sake!”

“That isn’t the point, I was still sup-” The harsh slap of Marco’s hand connecting with Myung’s face cut the young boy off.

“Shut up! Just shut up, Myung! Stop it! It isn’t your fault, you’re not superman! He was my best friend! He was my boyfriend and I don’t blame you in the slightest so you shouldn’t either!”

Vann rushed forward, grabbing Marco before he could go to hit Myung again, Jin holding the younger boy and soothing him as he sobbed.

“Marco, calm the heck down, right now.” Vann ordered, holding onto the struggling boy as he too broke down into tears, punching and clawing at Vann’s chest in a vain attempt to escape the hold. It wasn’t long before over half of Acid Teochii were in tears, the other half comforting them and struggling to hold it together himselves.

“It’s not fair,” Marco muttered into Vann’s chest, exhausted from his tears. “He worked hard too, he deserved to be here, accepting the award with us. He’s part of Acid Teochii and he’s not here. It isn’t fair.”

“I know it’s not fair, Marco,” Vann whispered into the pink hair below his chin, gently rocking the boy while struggling to keep his own tears at bay. “I know.”

“I’m sorry…” Yue uttered out, wiping at her face with trembling hands. “I know I shouldn’t have been up there with you guys, but I was told I had to be.” She bowed low, at a 90 degree angle. “I don’t want to replace him, I never want to replace him. It isn’t possible to. Hyo-oppa was his own person, his own personality that I cannot replace and will never try to.”

Marco sighed shakily, turning to properly look at Yue for the first time since she’d been added to the group. “Stand up, Yue-ah, it’s okay…” He muttered, slowly pushing himself away from Vann’s chest.

Yue’s head snapped up, looking towards the boy in shock. “What?” She whispered, voice strained from the tears that had yet to stop falling.

“Stand up, it’s okay… we know you’re not trying to replace him, and I’m sick of seeing you so miserable and left out around the dorm.” Marco took a shaking breath wiping at his face and approaching the girl, putting one trembling hand out towards her. “Truce?” He offered, giving the shy girl a tiny smile.

She stared at the offered hand for several seconds before eventually taking it in her own. “Truce,” she agreed. “Thank you so much.”

It was now that 6 females came bounding down the halls towards them, all eyes concerned and focused on them as they approached. Jimin hurried towards the sobbing Hanni, wrapping her arms around him just like she had done after she’d discovered the news, whereas Eunjung, the leader, went straight over to Myung.

“What was that all about?” She demanded, voice trembling. “You can’t just quit being a leader! That’s what we bonded over!”

Myung gave a shaking laugh. “Of course,” he replied. “So the other members of my group keep telling me… but it’s already been done, I’ve already spoken to our CEO about stepping down.”

Eunjung sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. “You’re a complete and total idiot, you know that? You’re doing great, okay? It wasn’t your fault. You’re an idiot.”

“I know,” Myung muttered back, feeling safe at Jin and Eunjung’s arms around him. “I know I’m an idiot.”