Dear Journal,

Sehun is so???? How do I????? Is he even real? real. uuuggggghhhhHHH. He's too much for me like?? . I hate him, but I love him. But I really hate him, even if his is nice. 

From, me.

~~~~~

Sehun looked at the text as confused as anyone else would be. The handwriting was messy and distorted, and all he really got out of it was how much this person loved him. And how nice his was, which he already knew. 

Sehun quietly stuffed the journal back into his bag and looked around the class to make sure no one was watching, but a glimpse of blue caught his eye. Hyunjoon? This kid was in the same class as him again? Why didn't Sehun notice in the beginning of the year? I mean surely he would've noticed the bright blue hair. 

The sound of the bell signaling for lunch brought Sehun back to his senses. For some reason after meeting Hyunjoon, he felt this sudden need to know more. Who was Hyunjoon exactly? Sehun gathered his things and was about to leave the classroom, when a certain figure zoomed right pass him.

Sehuns things were sent flying to the ground. 

"Oh . I- Sorry," Hyunjoon tugged at his beanie and ran away, but before Sehun could even say anything he was already halfway down the hallway. Hyunjoon headed towards Minjung who yelled at him and gave him a slap to the back. 'Ow! What the hell. What? OW! ok! ok! jeez..'  And with that Hyunjoon was sent back to Sehun, who was still a little shocked with the situation before him. 

However, while the whole conundrum was going on, someone had already took the time to pick up Sehuns belongings. Hyunjoon stopped in his tracks. 

"Uhm...I think you dropped this." Sehun looked down towards the high-pitched voice. She had smooth black hair, but her skin was as pale as paper. Her eyes pierced into him like a polished spear. 

"Oh uh, Thanks" Sehun snapped out of his trance when she pushed his bag to him. This girl was pretty cute, and she had a different quality about her. She was echancing. Sehun couldn't help but feel a little interested. 

"You're Sehun right? My name is Kya. Do you mind if I talk to you?" Sehun abesently agreed. And then it hit him. Kya? Jongkook's ex? He didn't know what he was getting himself into as he followed. Sehun looked over to where Hyunjoon stood a few seconds ago, but he was gone. Along with his friend.

~~~

"Ow! What the hell!" Minjung slapped Hyunjoon in the back.

"Get back over there and help him pick up his things loverboy." Hyunjoon suddenly felt a little sick.

"What? I don't think I sh- Ow! ok! jeez!" He started walking back, but stopped right away when he saw that someone had already helped Sehun. She was breath-takingly beautiful. It was no wonder that Sehun seemed speechless. Hyunjoon watched as they talked for a little. Hyunjoon watched as Sehun smiled. Hyunjoon watched as Sehun nodded. He felt his own heart drop.

"Hyunjoon hey-" Minjung walked towards her frozen friend before getting dragged by the hand quickly. Hyunjoon stormed off with Minjung in tow until they stopped at a bench. Hyunjoon plopped down. Minjung stood infront of him, worried.

"It's just another girlfriend. I mean he's had at least 10 this year. They've all only lasted one date. So it's ok right?" Hyunjoon didn't even know why he was so upset everytime Sehun got a girlfriend. He knew it was stupid and that he there's no way that Sehun would even care to look at him in that way. I mean, they wouldn't even last that long because that's just how Sehun is. Right?

"Hey...I'm gonna go get us some lunch, so stay here ok?" Minjung took one last look at Hyunjoon before hurrying off to the cafeteria. As soon as she was gone, Hyunjoon reached into his bag and took out his new journal, along with the matching pencil. He opened to a new page and immediently started sketching. Of course, he was drawing Sehun. His nose, strong eyes, smiling lips, and tossled hair. 

Sehuns smile was enough to lift Hyunjoons mood. Even if the smile was small, Hyunjoon could appreciate it. The more he let out his feelings into his sketch, the better he felt. That's just the way his journal worked for him. As time passed while Hyunjoon was having conversation with himself he realized that he would be able to see Sehun again today. He felt stupid after just now remembering that they would be at the library together studying for their history project.

Thinking about it made Hyunjoon feel anxious again. What if he did something dumb? What if he messed up his words?(Which is bound to happen with Hyunjoon.) But he reassured himself that it was a library and that it wouldn't require a lot of talking. Also, he would be spending time alone with Sehun. He would be spending time alone with Sehun. 

"Oh my god."

There was a mixed emotion of anxiety and hapiness. But before he could really freak out, Minjung was back with the much needed food.

~~~

Sehun didn't really know what just happened but all he knew was that he was going on a date with Kya after school and it was fine with him. The only thing he knew about the girl was that she used to be in a serious relationship with Jungkook. Besides that, the rest was a mystery. However, when Sehun talked to her, it felt different from all the other girls he's dated. This time he wasn't as annoyed and she was pretty.

This was a first for Sehun, it was almost as if he confirmed his own heterouality. If there's such a thing. 

The two of them continued to talk as they made it down to the noisy courtyard inhabited by the infamous 'Exo'.

"NO CHANYEOL! PUT THE BANANA DOWN. PUT IT DOWN NOW." Junmyeon had it hard. His group of friends weren't teenagers. But a bunch of kids, kids that he felt the constant need to babysit.

"...I guess I'll get going now," Kya awkwardly waved goodbye to Sehun before turning to walk away.

"Yeah I'll see you later." Once she was out of sight, he did a little celebratory dance. He wasn't embarrased until he heard a loud voice.

"WOULD YOU LOOK WHO IT IS! SEHUN WITH ANOTHER GIRL!" Baekhyun laughed. Chanyeol who had his arms wrapped around his tiny boyfriend also laughed, "AND NOT TO MENTION, JEON JUNGKOOK'S EX!" All 11 boy roared and laughed as Sehun walked over comepletely annoyed. Junmyeon gave him an apologetic smile before attempting to get his friends to shut up and be considerate, which they comepletely ignored. 

~~~

School ended quickly. Hyunjoon nearly sprinted out of his last class and rushed down to the library. He wanted good seats and good books. As soon as he settled down his stuff into a quiet corner of the library, He hurried off to collect books. This way when Sehun came they could start right away. After everything was set up and ready to go,

Hyunjoon sat and waited.

~~~

Sehun walked out of his class with a yawn. He had a date to go on, and then he'd be able to return home and get some shut-eye. It was always at times like these where he wondered why he bothered to get up so early. 

"Hey." Sehun waited for Kya to come out of her class, and they immediently started walking, "So where do you wanna go?"

"There's a really cute boba shop nearby?" "Ok whatever."

As they walked there were a lot of stares, but Sehun could've cared less. They also talked about useless things. Like the weather, school, all kinds of stuff. It wasn't as bad as Sehun thought it was gonna be. Kya was chill and wasn't over-bubbly or trying hard to get his attention like the other girls he's been on a date with. For Kya, she already has his full attention. He was starting to think that this might actually workout.

"Here it is." Kya smiled and opened the door for Sehun, who's never been to this place. They got in line behind the hoard of of children, high school students, and young adults. 

"So I heard you're in the dance club at school. Jungkook is in dance too." Kya fiddled with fingers and moved forward with the line.

"I am. And c'mon now, you're gonna talk about your ex on our date?" Sehun laughed and smiled down at her. Kya blushed.

"No! I just- It was kinda of? related? I'm sorry." Her face was a deep red by now.

"Hah! it's ok really I was just playing." By the time Kya calmed down they were in front of the cashier.

"Hi! May I take your order?"

"Chocolate Milk Tea with Pearls." The two looked at eachother for a little. Then they burst out laughing, a muffled 'You too?!' was heard. The cashier smiled at them and got their order down.

"Ah youth, You two are a cute couple." Kya look flustered as Sehun smiled, "Thank you." They moved away from the counter with their drinks and found seats by the window. Kya started talking about the photography club she was in while Sehun mentioned some stuff about dance class.

The two talked for what seemed like hours.  And although he was enjoying himself, Sehun felt uneasy.

~~~~~

It really was hours. 2 to be exact. Hyunjoon figured this would happen. He's started reading and taking notes on his own. He was bored out of his mind and wasn't in the mood for studying. He's been here for 2 hours waiting for Sehun, even though he knew he was never going to show. Sehun said he would come, but Hyunjoon should've known better. The sad thing was, Hyunjoon was looking forward to being with Sehun so much that he sent Minjung home on her own for the first time. 

Something wet hit Hyunjoon's notes. He reached up to his own face and realized that is was just his own tears. Hyunjoon got mad at himself for being so pathetic. 'As if someone like Sehun would come to study with someone like me.' He furiously tried to wipe away the tears, but they just kept falling. 

Hyunjoon was tired. Tired of feeling worthless. But he knew there was nothing he could do. Why did he fall in love with such a perfectly straight person? Someone who'd never return his feelings. He'd always get his hopes up, but would be shot right down by either Sehun himself, or his own self esteem. He was pathetic and he knew this well. Hyunjoon sat there crying into his arms, trying to be quiet for the others in the library. There weren't many anymore.

It took a couple minutes but after a lot of tears and muffled hiccuping, Hyunjoon had cried himself to sleep.

~~~

Tao walked passed the library hand-in-hand with Kris. They were about to leave school after a "study session" when Tao remembered something. "Hold on," he stopped.

"What's wrong?" Kris looked at his boyfriend, who had a scheming look on his face. This didn't look too good. Not wanting to get involved, Kris said he'd wait for him outside.

"Sehun's in there with a boy! I could use this for blackmail," Kris didn't look amused. Sehun and Tao always went at it with each other. Of course, Sehun would never win and get mad like the baby he was.

Tao walked in almost ready to tease Sehun, but stopped in his tracks when he didn't find the lanky boy. However, he did spot bright blue hair. As he walked closer he got a hold of the situation. Sehun probably went on a date with Jungkook's ex and left poor Hyunjoon here to fry his brain on his own.

'That freaking hoe.' Tao felt mad at the fact that his friend ditched Hyunjoon for a date and that Sehun forgot about someone who probably had feelings for him. Tao whipped out his phone and started tapping.

~~~

Sehun's phone vibrated in his pocket, "Ah sorry, I got a text." He pulled at his phone and looked at the screen. 

'Look who I found! His eyes are kind of swollen, maybe he was crying? He's been waiting here since after school hasn't he?' Sehun almost dropped his drink when he saw the attached photo. Tao had his arm around the sleeping boy. Hyunjoons eyes really did look swollen and red like he'd been crying and rubbing them. He felt his own heart sink. Sehun bolted up from his seat, grabbed his backpack, and started for the door.

But before he could take 2 steps a hand grabbed his wrist, "Sehun where're you going?" . He was on a date. 

"I-I'm sorry I gotta go, I'll call you later ok?" She reluctantly let go of him, and he dashed off the second she did. He ran towards the school while mentally beating himself up for forgetting about Hyunjoon. How could he be so stupid?  Not only that, but Hyunjoon probably studied hard on his own, and was crying. 

Guilt was eating up Sehun the closer he got to the school library. As soon as he walked in he immediently spotted the familiar blue hair. He went over to him quickly, breathing heavily.

"Hey," Sehun shook him, "Hey I'm here wake up. Hyunjoon." Sehun shook him again. Hyunjoon stirred in his sleep and slowly opened his eyes. When Hyunjoon opened his eyes he was greeted by Sehun's heavy breathing and messy hair. Hyunjoon smiled, "You're here."

"I'm sorry that I forgot. You should've just left you know? It's really late now." Sehun started gathering the books that were sprawled around. Why are there so many?  Hyunjoon watched as Sehun frantically moved around. It was making his head spin.

"Sehun!" Hyunjoon reached out, "Sehun! sit down please...you're hurting my head." Hyunjoon got a hold of the taller's hand and dragged him down to the seat next to him. When the spinning stopped Hyunjoon put his head back down. Sehun was only frozen and staring at their hands that were together. He felt embarrassed, but Sehun didn't move away.

"I'm tired. I'm tired of crying,"Hyunjoon mumbled half asleep. The grip he had on Sehuns hand started to loosen as he fell asleep. But Sehun grabbed onto his hand again. Gripping it tighter than before. For some reason he felt pain. An unexplainable pain. The sorrow and tiredness he heard out of Hyunjoon's voice punched him right in the gut. After a quick few seconds he let go of Hyunjoon's hand and quietly gathered his things.

Pushing the library books aside, Sehun grabbed Hyunjoon's bag and started placing his things in it. His hands hovered a blue notebook. It was cute and blue. Just like Hyunjoon. Sehun smiled to himself and placed it into the bag as well.

"Hey." Sehun shook Hyunjoon, gently this time, "Put this on. Let's get out of here." 

Hyunjoon somehow got up to put on his backpack. He wasn't strong enough to carry himself and needed support. Sehun grabbed his arm and wrapped it around his waist, but Hyunjoon decided to use both his arms and clung tight to Sehun. They finally got out of the library and Sehun was an embarrassed mess. Who knew how small Hyunjoon was. Or maybe he was just that tall.

~~~

After a ran redlight and unclear directions, they finally made it to Hyunjoon's apartment. Getting Hyunjoon up and out was difficult, so Sehun decided to just carry him on his back.

Warm. The smaller snuggled into the nape of Sehun's neck and smiled. Sehun felt himself getting warm and didn't want to admit that his face was red hot.

With someone on your back, getting into an apartment is hard, but Sehun managed. He quickly brought Hyunjoon into his room and placed him on the bed. Sehun carefully removed the backpack making sure he didn't wake him up. Hyunjoon curled into a ball, missing Sehun's warmth. Sehun simply threw the covers over him and tucked him in.

The taller hesitated as he looked at Hyunjoon's face. He affectionately brushed the hair out of Hyunjoons face and quietly left the room so he could sleep in peace. 

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A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! I finally updated lmao hi im back from the dead. This site is censoring b.u.t.t and the f word I'm so mad lmao.

Anyways Sehun got a girlfriend?? what.

I wanna thank all of my subscribers(There's not a lot of you lol) for being so patient with me! I love all of you guys a lot. I made this chapter extra long because I've been lacking lately.

If you haven't already done so, please upvote, comment, or subscribe! You don't have to though :P

ALSO! My good friend Adri(Admin swagmeister or stealyoman whatever) has completed his story Since You've Left. He and I would love it if you supported this story as well! If you like angst then give it a try wink wonk.

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