A week had passed. Woohyun had taught Sungjong how to cook. He was now confident with his cooking skill. He knocked on the wooden door in front of him—Myungsoo’s apartment door—and looked down at the plastic bags in his hands.

“Okay. The ingredients are complete.”

Then the door opened, revealing Myungsoo who flashed a wide smile at him.

“Hey, honey. Come in.”

Myungsoo helped Sungjong carry the plastic bags whilst the shorter blonde took his shoes off. Sungjong then followed him to the kitchen as Myungsoo led him there. 

“When did you buy all of this?”
“This morning with Umma.”

Myungsoo merely hummed. Sungjong was taking out the ingredients when suddenly Myungsoo cursed loudly. He quickly turned his head to his lover.

“What’s wrong?”
“We’re running out of frying oil. I’ll go to buy it now. Wait here, Sungjongie~.”

Sungjong nodded as Myungsoo stormed off his flat.

Now that he was alone, Sungjong remembered that he had left his math book in Myungsoo’s bedroom two days ago. He went there, opened the door, and stepped forward to the bedside table.

“Mm...Where did I leave it, anyway?”

He looked around the bedside table first but found nothing, and then decided to search under Myungsoo’s bed sheet. He reached under the pillow and felt something touch his fingertips. 

“Ah! There it is.”

The one he had taken out wasn’t his math book. Instead, it was the diary he gave Myungsoo as a birthday gift months ago. He stared at the diary in his hand. He knew what he was thinking now wasn’t a good idea. But he was curious as to what Myungsoo had written in it. Feeling guilty yet still curious, Sungjong opened the diary. He read the first page. Myungsoo wrote about their first date. Hey, that’s so sweet, Sungjong thought. He turned to the next page and couldn’t help but giggle as he read that Myungsoo felt so happy because Sungjong had kissed him that day.

“I didn’t even remember doing that,” muttered the blonde.

Sungjong continued reading the diary. Myungsoo wrote that it was the first time Sungjong initiated the kiss, although it was only on his cheek.

“Oh! That one!” exclaimed Sungjong loudly.

He giggled again. Then he turned to the third page, fourth page, and fifth page and so on. Myungsoo had only written about their relationship. No more else. However, Sungjong found a very beautiful poem written by Myungsoo and was dedicated to him. Sungjong mentally thought about how romantic Myungsoo was for writing such a beautiful poem for him.

“Thanks, Myungsoo. However, I have to say that your diary is actually boring. Do you only feel happiness in your entire life?”

Sungjong randomly picked a page to read, trying to find anything different. He did. Sungjong read it thoroughly.

July 3rd, 2013

I can’t lie to myself anymore. And I can’t lie to him either. I should stop this. Before it becomes worse. I know it would hurt him again. But I must stop this. I want to see him smile. I don’t want to see him cry anymore. Neither do I want to hurt him. I want to convince my heart...to make sure that my love is always just for him. But I can’t…Is it love? Or is it just sympathy?

Next thing he knew, Sungjong had dropped onto his knees, crying.

***

Myungsoo opened his apartment door. He take of his shoes and  hung his jacket, then walked towards his bedroom as he heard someone’s voice.

“Sungjong…Sungjongie. Is that you, baby?”

Myungsoo’s eyes widened as he entered his bedroom and found that Sungjong was kneeling on the floor, crying. Myungsoo stepped forward to the younger boy and squatted down quickly in front of him.

“Sungjong! Sungjong, baby. What happened, babe?”
“Stop…”
“What? I can’t hear you.”

Myungsoo now placed his hands on both of Sungjong’s shoulders. The blonde was still crying when he tried to speak, “Stop calling me with endearments if you don’t really mean it!”

“What? What’s wrong with you? Are you angry with me?” Myungsoo backed off a bit, frowning.
“It’s enough, Myungsoo. I don’t need your sympathy anymore. Stop pretending!”
“What do you mean?”
“You…you don’t love me. You never do!”
“I don’t understand, Sungjongie! Tell me what you mean!”

Sungjong removed Myungsoo’s hands from his shoulders and stared into the other teenager’s eyes.

“This whole time, you’re just feeling pity for me. You never really love me, Myungsoo.”
“Who said that to you?”
“No one. I just figured it out myself. From this…”

Sungjong gave the diary to Myungsoo. The older teen’s eyes widened as he received the diary. His diary. 

“You…read this?”    

Sungjong nodded reluctantly. He wiped his tears and stared back at Myungsoo.

“Why, Myungsoo? Why did you do this to me? I really love you.”
“Sungjongie…”

Myungsoo put the diary on the floor and then pulled Sungjong’s body into an embrace. He could tell that Sungjong was crying again as he did so.

“…I’m sorry, Sungjong. I’m really sorry.”

Don’t tell me you’re sorry. For this time only, I just want to hear a lie from you. Tell me that you love me back and this thing is just my imagination. That you never love me…it’s just a lie.
“Please, quit it already.”

Sungjong pushed Myungsoo away that made the older boy furrow his eyebrows. 

“Jongie? I’m sorry.”
“Enough, I don’t want to hear it anymore.”
“But, Sungjong. Please give me one more chance. Sungjongie.”
“I said enough, Kim Myungsoo!”

Sungjong now stood up but then Myungsoo followed his action. 

“Sungjong...”
“I have known about this for so long, Myungsoo. Before I read your diary. Since that day. When you all gathered in my room whilst the doctor checked me up. When you all had a debate about me. I have known, Myungsoo.”

Myungsoo couldn’t say anything as he saw the tears gather in Sungjong’s eyes.

“However, I pretended that it never happened. That you are not the cause of my accident. That you told me the truth when you confessed your feelings for me. I...I love you, Myungsoo. I really do, always.”

Myungsoo felt heavy inside his stomach. He couldn’t look into the younger boy’s eyes.

“How...how could you do this to me, Myungsoo?”

The heavy feeling within his stomach felt heavier as Myungsoo realised that he was crying now. He bowed his head whilst the tears fell down to the floor. His shoulders shook hard and he was sure that Sungjong could hear him sob very clearly. Sungjong stepped forward to Myungsoo, taking the other boy’s chin so that Myungsoo could face him. Sungjong smiled at him but Myungsoo knew that the blonde forced his smile to appear on his lips.

“...Goodbye, Myungsoo. I love you.”

After that, Sungjong left him alone in his apartment. Myungsoo did nothing until he realised that he must chase Sungjong. Myungsoo quickly ran towards his front door and found that the younger boy didn’t even bother to put his shoes on. Sungjong’s shoes were still on his shoes rack. Myungsoo opened his apartment door but Sungjong was nowhere to be seen. 

“...Sungjong...”

***

Myungsoo couldn’t find Sungjong anywhere near his flat. Where had Sungjong gone? He didn’t even bother to put his shoes on. Myungsoo was afraid that Sungjong might hurt his feet. The dark-haired teen grabbed his jacket and dashed out from his flat, trying to find his lover.

God, it’s cold, The weather is bad for him to walk outside barefoot, Myungsoo thought. He had run around the town, but still he couldn’t find Sungjong. 

Hopelessly, he dropped down onto the bench behind him. 

“Sungjongie~...Where are you?”

Since Sungjong didn’t bring anything with him when he ran away from Myungsoo’s flat, Myungsoo was unable to reach him by his mobile phone. Then, he decided to call Hoya.

“Hello?” answered the voice on the other line.
“Hyung...”
“Myungsoo? What’s wrong with your voice?”
“Hyung...Help me...”
“Help you? M-Myungsoo!? What actually happened?!”
“... ...”
“Myungsoo?”
“... He knows, Hyung. He already know about it.”
“Who? And know about what?”
“...Sungjong...He knows about the accident.”

Myungsoo couldn’t see Hoya’s face, of course. However, he knew that the older boy eyes  must have widened by now.

“Then?”
“He...He ran away from my place. I don’t know where he went.”

Myungsoo heard rustle noises on the other line. Then, Hoya’s voice was heard again.

“Where are you now?”

Myungsoo looked around and noticed that he was at the park near Hoya’s house.

“I’m at the park near your house.”
“Okay. Don’t go anywhere. I’m going now.”

After that, he heard a ‘click’ sound, signing that Hoya had hung up the phone. He dropped his hands on his laps.

“Sungjong...Where are you?”

***

Sungjong’s feet were hurt. He had walked around the town aimlessly. He squatted down and looked at his soles. They were bleeding. Then, he stood up again and continued walking.

I’m so stupid. How could I forget to put my shoes on? I’d just hurt myself more if I kept walking barefoot like this.

Still, Sungjong kept walking to nowhere. It was cold tonight; he braced himself to warm him. People looked at him in disgust. They probably thought Sungjong was a homeless. Like he cared. He just wanted to be in somewhere quite, no one else but him alone. Then, he knew where he must go. It was a perfect place. Sungjong hoped he could reach the place easily since he knew it must be locked by this time.

***

Myungsoo heard footsteps approaching him. He looked up and found that not only Hoya, but Sunggyu, Woohyun, and even Dongwoo too, standing in front of him now. 

“Myungsoo. Oh, my God. You look pale.”

Hoya sat down beside him and pressed his palm on Myungsoo’s forehead. 

“Are you okay?”
“I’m okay. Now, we must—”
“No, no. Just wait.”

Myungsoo couldn’t understand why Hoya prevented him from continuing searching for Sungjong. He stared at Hoya, half-confused and half-angry but said nothing.

“Where have you searched him?” asked Hoya.
“Around the town. And I can’t find him anywhere!”
“Calm down, Myungsoo,” said Woohyun as he patted the dark-haired teen’s shoulder in a calming manner.

Sunggyu and Dongwoo still stood on their spot, waiting for a plan. 

“We had better split up and search for Sungjong again. Maybe you didn’t see him where in fact he was right behind you,” added Hoya to Myungsoo. 

Myungsoo did nothing but stood up and next, they had split up to several directions, searching for Sungjong again.

***

Sungjong didn’t know wether it was because he was lucky or the school guard was careless, when he found the door that led to his destination was unlocked. Then, he made his way towards that place. The place that had started the whole story: Chemistry Laboratory. He opened the sliding door and decided