I stood still, unable to comprehend what had just happened. All I could think was how stupid I was, how deluded I had been. Of course she didn't feel the same way, why would she? She's as close to perfect as a human can get and I'm just a nobody, a self destructive boy. How could we be the same as we were before, I had ruined any chance of a normal friendship.

Finally, with my head down, I re-entered the club. All I could see was the floor as I headed for the backdoor. I wouldn't dare look up in case I would catch a glimpse of her. She is probably smiling like she had been before, happily chatting with friends I thought, having already forgotten about me, just another boy who had a crush on her.

I hailed the first taxi I saw and gave the driver the address of the dorm. I thought of texting her, trying to make it better.

'Hey, you know I didn't really mean what I said, I was just joking really! Please don't be mad at me! xx'  

There was no point, she wouldn't believe me. I just put my head in my hands and waited to arrive home.

'Here we are kid.'

As I reached our dorm, I was surprised to see lights coming from under the door. It was past midnight, it's not like the other boys to be up this late.

Slowly opening the door as not to create too much noise, I entered to find Tom leaning over the kitchen counter, drowning his sorrows with a bottle of soju.

'Tom? What are you doing back, I didn't even know you left.'

'Come back to rub it in huh?' I stared in silence, shocked and puzzled. What did he mean? He must have been really drunk and making no sense.

'Are you drunk? Why don't you just go to bed Tom...' Before I could finish my sentence, Tom hurled the soju bottle in my direction. It smashed on the wall behind me, the liquid went all over my back and the wall. Glass scattered the floor, but before I had the chance to react, Tom was charging in my direction.

'WHAT THE IS WRONG WITH YOU? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, YOU KNEW...'

'Jesus Tom, what the was that for!'

'MY BEST FRIEND FROM CHILDHOOD!'

'Calm down, please!'

'I saw you Bobby! With her, in the corridor! As soon as I was out of view, you made your move! YOU SON OF A !'

The noise from the smashing glass and shouting must have woken up the rest of the boys. Before Tom could get his first swing at me, Taeyong came from behind me in only his underwear, grabbing both Toms arms and dragging him back away from me. This was followed by Minwoo and Jinwoo creating a barrier between Tom and I.

I was lost for words. He had seen Hyuna kiss me too. The trouble that girl had caused. I understood how he must have felt, betrayed and heartbroken. If only I could make him see that it wasn't like he saw! But I knew there was no way he could be reasoned with in his current state.

'Calm down Tom!' Taeyong struggled to hold Tom back as he continued his verbal abuse towards me.

'You and me are done Bobby! You've gone too far, I've would have never done this too you!' Tom's eyes began to swell, tears wear forming. I think the thought that I would do something so hurtful towards him intentionally has made him the most anger.

With those words, Tom harshly pushed Taeyong off him, turning around and heading for the door. It slammed behind him as he stormed out.

Still half asleep, all the boys looked towards me with confused and worried looks.

'What the hell is going on?' Sihwan finally excited his room.

'It's nothing... just..just go back to bed everyone..' I tried to retreat to my room, I felt like crying and punching something at the same time. I needed the night to be over.

'Bobby! This is not nothing, there's glass everywhere, why were you arguing?' Minwoo said while grabbing my shoulder.

'Just leave it, I'll clean it up in the morning. I need to be alone.' I slammed the door behind me to my room.

I sat there in the dark, exhausted but unable to sleep. I kept replaying everything in my head. The poisonous kiss, the moment the women I could very well love rejected me, when my best friend wanted to rip my head off for betraying him. It was one of worst days of my life, everything had been messed up. I couldn't see a light in the darkness, I felt like there was nothing I could do to make anything any better.

THE NEXT MORNING

We were all due in to training the next day, just like any other day. But everything felt different somehow. To my surprise, the evidence of the night before had all been cleaned up. No glass or soju. But also there was no Tom. He hadn't came back that night, no one knew where he went. We all tried to contact him with no luck. This made me feel even worse.

I talked very little to the boys that morning, there was a mutual feeling that it was too soon to bring it up. Before I knew it, we were getting in the van to start the day of training.

'1,2,3,4,5..5...wait, where's Tom?' Our manager lived on a different floor so he didn't yet know about the incident the night before. We initially stayed quiet, looking at the floor, not one of us wanted to be the one to tell him.

'Bobby, where is your partner in crime? Don't lie to me kid.'

'I don't know hyung.'

'Well I don't believe that for a second, he better not have got so drunk last night he didn't make it home..' I interrupted him.

'I really don't know. We.. well we...'

'Go on Bobby, we haven't got all day.' He said with a stern look on his face.

'We got into a argument. Last night, he left and we haven't seen him since.'

Our managers face went from confused to worried to angry.

 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE LEFT! So you're telling me no one know where he is right now!?' He looked towards the others boys who shook their heads slowly.

Our manager looked like he might faint. He called the SM office to let them know the situation, but to all our surprise, they confirmed he had just arrived at the front entrance.

'He's at SM now? Thank god, I was so worried about him.' Sihwan breathed in relief, as did we all. I was glad we knew where he was, but I hated to think what he would do when he sees me.

On the way to the SM building, our manager spoke up; 'Right, I don't need to know what happened last night, it's over now. I don't want one word mentioned of it you all understand me, it will only bring a bad image to you all, especially you Bobby.' We nodded. As much as I wanted to forget it all happened, I had a feeling it wouldn't be that easy.