Months have passed since we moved here. And everything goes smoothly. Most of the people in our neighbourhood speaks in English, which is a great because I don’t have to carry my English-Korean dictionary all the time.

 

I made lots of friends now too, but it’s unavoidable to feel out of place sometimes. I just neglect those times. As for my appa, wow, he’s really doing great for being my father! We have lots of quality time spend together now and he’s having a good time at his work. Though it’s awkward, I must say this, the single middle-aged ladies have all their eyes on my dad. It’s really so awkward…

 

But I think, my dad has his eye set on someone now. On the girl who lives next door. And honestly, I hate it! He can’t date! Somehow I’m still hoping that one day, mom will be back, they will reconcile, and we will be a happy family again. He can’t date!

 

---

Dad came home a bit early today, luckily I prepared dinner already.

“Good evening, Appa!” I cheerfully greeted him.

“Hey, I smell good food… Did you prepare something?”

“Uhm, yeah. It’s been a while since I last cooked. So I decided to cook tonight.”

“What a good daughter I have here.” He hugs me, and once in a while a father’s hug feel so right.

 

 

While eating a feastful amount of dinner I prepared, Dad speaks, which he don’t usually do while eating,

“Ricci… Are you having a good time here? In our new home?”

“Of course. Why you asked?”

“I as well, is having a really good time.” He smile sweetly.

“Good. You’re not gonna ask me to pack my things now, right?”

“No, no. That won’t happen here. This is now our permanent home, I told you that, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did. Uhm, dad, what’s the catch? It’s uncommon for you to speak in front of dinner. You have something serious to tell?” I said before I choked down another spoonful of meal.

 

There’s an awkward silence in the air… Then he speaks again.

“I finally have some spare time from work when we move here. And during those spare time… I go for a walk here in I neighbourhood. And I met someone.”

 

This is it. The thing that I don’t want to happen.

“By someone, do you mean the korean lady who lives next door?” I asked, acting all innocent.

“H-how did you know?” He stuttered.

“What makes you think I wouldn’t know, dad?”

He sighed. “So you know what this talk is all about, don’t you?”

“Yes. And I say NO!” I shouted.

“Hey, young lady, don’t you dare shout at me, especially in front of food, where are your manners?”

“My manners?! Where’s your manners, dad? How can you talk to me, saying that you met someone and you’d like to date her? You know how I hated that! You promised me that you will not date anyone besides my mom!”

“Ricci, listen. I waited long enough for your mother to come back, but did she? She didn’t. Not even once that she tried to call me since she left! Not even once she came to check how you are doing! Did you know that when I think of your mother, I try to contact her?! But not once I heard anything from her! I loved your mom, I did. And I love you, you know that. But just for once, Ricci. After all this years, can I now start to move on and forget about your mother, when now clearly, she have forgotten us?”

 

This is one of the worst thing that could ever happen to us. I’m trying to hold back my tears, but I can’t anymore. They now fall freely. “You can’t make me forget mom.” I said in between sobs.

“I’m not asking you to forget her. But could you just let me free from her?”

“Do what you want. I lost my appetite. I’m done.” I stand up and went up to my room.

 

I grab my phone, and my purse. I’m going out. I hope heaven knows, where to!

When I went down, dad still sitting at the dinner table and he noticed me…

 

“Where are you going? Hey! Stop, I’m talking to you, Ricci!”

He follows me as I walk towards the door.

“I’m going out. Let me have some time to think.” I said.

“Where are you going?”

 

I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know where I’m going. So I just went out and run like someone is chasing me, without answering his question.

 

 

---

I don’t know how many kilometres I had run but I am tired as hell! And it’s cold outside.

While resting after that very tiring run, I tried to call my friends, asking if I can stay for a while at their house. Unfortunately, they were all doing something very significant in their lives so they couldn’t accommodate me. Psssh, ‘friends.’

 

All of sudden, there are droplets on water on the street. It’s raining.

 

Great! Just so great! Why now of all the time? I don’t have an umbrella to begin with. Why now when I don’t know where I am. I’m lost.

 

I then again run, trying to look for a shed.

While running, I cried again. I know I am being selfish for stopping my dad to date someone but I just want to give a chance to our family to be mend and be complete again. Is it a selfish act as well? I wonder where my mom is right now. Surely, dad had a point that mom never really did check if how was I. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me anymore, right? Maybe she was just scared. I won’t judge her though…

 

I won’t judge her… But why am I judging my father? My mom left us for another man, but dad is here with me. Seeking my permission to see someone else, when my mother insensitively left us…

 

I cried harder. I’m still under the rain as it falls harder, unable to find a decent shed. My vision is getting blurry and I think I’m losing my senses…

 

 

Then there’s a blinding light in from of me. It getting near and nearer… I cover my eyes… And I heard tire screech.

 

I was knocked down on the pavement.