Roomie?
She's the Man (Literally)'Whoo, ok, come on Baekhyun you can do this,' Baekhyun mentors himself, eyes closed.
'Of course I can, yes, I can do this, because I am a girl, I am a hot girl and I am going to strut my stuff like there's no tom-'
Baekhyun's cut off from his pep talk, however, with a loud exclamation of "READY?" nearby.
Very near by.
Courtesy of Kai.
"Haa, sorry, I am just. really. excited" Kai says through a smile that seems partially excited and partially just-got-on-a-rollercoaster-and-realized-you're-not-buckled-in sensation.
Somewhere in the middle there.
"Ignore him, Baek," Tao pipes up from the drivers seat, shaking his head as Kai yelps out another "EXCITED" while simultaneously rubbing his hands up and down his thighs.
"You're gonna be great, and Kai and Lay will be coming later to help out, although I'm not sure how much of a reassurance that is," Tao continues, his new blue hair glinting in the rearview mirror.
This was it.
The first day.
After running back over to Kai and Lay's apartment to allow Tao to prep him one last time, the four had headed out to Illyria to drop Baekhyun off for his first day.
So now Baekhyun had a fresh coat of eyeliner (because his parents were already a little shocked when he'd come home right after his makeover and also because he usually ended up stabbing himself in the eye when he tried applying it himself), some very smalldespite Kai's protests but nonetheless freaky-feeling s strapped to his chest, and a whole lot of nerves whirling around in his stomach.
Adjusting his faux s uncomfortably, Baekhyun nods back at Tao and stares out the window.
Just as the university comes into sight.
Tao lets out a loud "There it is!", startling Lay awake from his nap against the window.
Baekhyun tries not to gag.
Kai's eyes widen even more.
"I'M FREAKING OUT" he shouts a few octaves higher than normal, instantly slapping a hand over his mouth and then resuming rubbing his thighs at a slightly faster pace.
Trying to quell his sense of nausea, Baekhyun closes his eyes and breathes, allowing Lay's calming wordsmeant for Kai to wash over him.
It helps.
Or at least, Baekhyun thought it helped, but that was before Tao started slowing the car down.
Cracking an eye open, Baekhyun sees the large "Illyria University" stone sign right before his eyes, just to the side of a large archway underneath which multiple students with various suitcases are walking through.
Baekhyun sits up quickly, choking as the seatbelt digs into his windpip.
"Turn around," he chokes out, reaching towards Tao. "If you love me please turn around right now!" Baekhyun cries, yanking against his seatbelt repetitively.
Unfortunately, Baekhyun's outburst only spurs Kai on more, as the red haired boy joins in with yanking on his seatbelt as well, murmuring low "oh no"s over and over again with his eyes darting back and forth.
"Huh uh, Baek, we're not doing this now" Tao says over the commotion, shaking his head.
"No, Tao, I don't want this anymore-"
"Baek, you're going in-"
"No I'm not!" Baekhyun shouts.
"I swear, I did not do all of this for you to just quit-" Tao starts, turning around in his seat.
"I'm not quitting I'm saving my dignity!"
"Baek, you're going in there TODAY!"
"MAKE ME!"
"That's it I'm coming back ther-"
"ENOUGH"
Everyone freezes; Baekhyun clutching his seatbelt like a lifeline and Tao poised over the drivers seat with one long leg already hiked up.
Even Kai stops with his rocking, wide eyes turning like a deer caught in headlights.
Lay narrows his eyes at the three from the passenger seat, twisted around in his seat to view all of them.
"Tao, sit back down," Lay says quietly, now looking fully awake, before continuing.
"Byun Baekhyun, remember what you're doing this for. You have not been handed this opportunity for nothing and you're sure as hell not going to back out now, got it? Now collect yourself, grow a frickin' pair of ovaries like you need to, and get your out there. Now." Lay finishes quietly but firmly, staring hard at Baekhyun.
"And would you calm down, Kai, you're giving me stress and neither of us are the ones going to this college" he says, turning his gaze to Kai's still wide eyed one.
Fortunately, Lay's words seem to have a stabilizing affect on everyone, allowing everything to move on smoothly afterwards.
Well, almost everything, as Tao practically sits on the car horn while trying to get back in his seat, causing him to knock his head against the car ceiling, eliciting a few select curse words from said person, while simultaneously terrorizing an incoming freshman unfortunate enough to have crossed the road at the same moment.
Baekhyun opens his door and begins to slide out, Tao already waiting outside.
Tao gasps.
"Baek! You can't just flash the world! Keep your legs closed when you're sliding out of a car!" he reprimands.
Oh yes.
Another point of discomfort.
Apparently, skirts were a part of the female school uniform here at Illyria, a piece of information Baekhyun had quite suddenly become aware of earlier that morning when he'd opened the package.
"Got it, no flashing, thanks Tao" Baekhyun huffs as he slowly slides out of his seat, awkwardly holding down the edges of his black skirt.
Tao hands him his cross-body bag and the paper with his dorm information, the few items Baekhyun had brought with him since Kai and Lay were bringing the rest later that night.
"Thanks," Baekhyun mutters, distracted as he rearranges his clothes, adjusts his s, fixes his bag, avoids Kai's nervous glances from inside the car, internally becoming increasingly flustered until he feels a hand on his shoulder.
"Baek, relax," Tao says calmly, tipping Baekhyun's face up with a hand under his chin. "You will be fine, just be calm and hope your roommate isn't a psychopath who tries to become you and steal everyone you love, and yes I am talking about the Roommate movie because that is some freaky realistic stuff,"
Baekhyun squints up at the other, "Wow, thanks Tao, I'll keep that in mind," he replies, not needing anything else to worry about.
"I bet she will be completely non-psychopathic, now come here," Tao reassures before pulling Baekhyun into a strong hug, picking him up a little off the ground due to the height difference.
"Tao-makeup-" Baekhyun mumbles into Tao's shirt, trying to breathe.
"Oh, right," Tao gasps, dropping Baekhyun wobbly-kneed back to the ground and checking for unwanted smears of eyeliner onhis shirt Baekhyun's face.
"Come on Tao, it's time to let your baby go," Lay calls from the car, now rubbing Kai's hand over the seat to keep the other calm.
Tao pouts.
"I guess this is goodbye," he starts.
"Tao, you live like fifteen minutes awa-"
"Shhh, it doesn't matter" Tao cuts him off, holding up a hand.
"I'm so proud of our work, Baekkie, no one will find out with your hair," Tao reaches out to adjust a strand, "your skirt, which is adorable on you, by the way," he continues with a flip to Baekhyun's skirt, "and these look pretty genuine-" Tao reaches out and taps on Baekhyun's s.
Baekhyun swats him away quickly with a scowl.
"You can't just grab them out in public, Tao!" Baekhyun whispers with a blush.
"Sorry, sorry, I forgot," Tao says with his hands up in the air.
Baekhyun adjusts himself once more before taking a breath.
"Ok, well, I'm off to meet my roommate now, wish me luck" he says grimly, yelping when Tao swoops in to give him a kiss on the cheek, a habit they'd formed when they were all kids.
"Stop that! People are going to think we're a couple with you manhandling me!" Baekhyun swats Tao away again.
"Aww, you know you'd love some of this," Tao smirks, backing away towards the car where Baekhyun can see Lay rolling his eyes.
"I don't know, Taozi, new school, new babe pool" Baekhyun smirks back, laughing at Tao's fake offended gasp.
And then his three last comforts in the world pull away, leaving Baekhyun with no choice but to go meet his hopefully non-psychopathic roommate.
Baekhyun turns to face the large archway to Illyria, the buildings coming into view not too much further down the path. He walks slowly until he's under the arch, trying to focus on putting more swing in his hips and overall already looking likea weirdo the girl he needs to be.
"Ok, Baek," he whispers to himself, closing his eyes and taking a breath. He can hear the voices of fellow students already, talking and laughing and squealing when some of them spot a friend. "You are a girl, you are a smokin' hot girl,".
One last deep breath.
"Let's do this."
Confidence levels high as they're going to go, Baekhyun opens his eyes and starts forward, a pep in his step and a smile on his face.
That is, until he's side-swiped suddenly by something tall, gangly, and carrying a very large suitcase.
"Oof," Baekhyun falls to the ground, squishing his cross-body bag under one hip.
"Really?" he mutters under his breath, already hearing a low voice frantically voicing apologies.
Irritated and frazzled once again, Baekhyun picks himself up and dusts off his skirt, turning to give this guy a piece of his mind.
What he does not expect, however, is to come face to face withan angel the most gorgeous person Baekhyun's ever seen.
Baekhyun's jaw drops.
"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry," he's saying quickly, scrambling up from the ground, but Baekhyun's not listening.
He's too absorbed in this person's long, toned legs, his wide, warm brown eyes, his cute mouth moving a mile a minute with apologies.
Baekhyun's snapped out of his daydream with a light hand on his cheek.
"Can. You. Hear. Me?" gorgeous boy's saying slowly, eyes even wider in fear. "Oh my gosh I gave her a concussion," he gasps, patting Baekhyun's cheek lightly.
Baekhyun swears he sees sparks from his peripheral vision where the other is touching his cheek, and he feels tingly inside. But he pulls away and clears his throat, the physical contact and remembrance that he's a girl bringing him back to reality.
"You're fine, I mean I'm fine-you're gorgeous-" Baekhyun stammers out, tilting his voice just a little higher than his normal pitch, and then blushing at his words.
'Real smooth, Baek' he thinks, but gorgeous boy looks too relieved that he didn't kill Baekhyun's brain cells to have heard him clearly.
"Oh , I'm really sorry but I'm late," gorgeous boy glances at his phone. Gathering up his sticker-covered suitcase, he looks at Baekhyun again, concern coming back.
"Really, I'm fine" Baekhyun reassures him, awkwardly rubbing his neck and hoping his blush isn't too evident.
"Ok, ok, well, I'm gonna go, I'm really sorry," the other starts walking away, almost knocking into someone else.
And then-
"Oh, and you don't need to keep reassuring yourself, you look great, too!" gorgeous boy calls out with a blinding smile, before turning and speed walking away.
Baekhyun dies a little inside.
"He heard that?" he blushes, fixing his hair and skirt.
'Well, at least Tao's disguise is working,' Baekhyun thinks, 'not to mention the added bonus of Mr. Gorgeous-no! Not the time Baek, stop acting like a star-struck schoolgirl' Baekhyun shakes his head, ignoring the little voice telling him that he is, indeed, a star-struck schoolgirl, and keeps walking.
Making his way inside what he assumes is the correct building, Baekhyun avoids collision with a group of gossiping girls and glances back down at his paper.
Rereading the cheerful message, Baekhyun's stomach does flips as he walks up the stairs to his dorm level.
And then he's standing in front of the dorm room with a number printed on it identical to the number on his sheet of paper, butterflies in his stomach.
"Ovaries, grow a pair of ovaries Baek," Baekhyun says, taking Lay's words to heart.
And then he's unlocking his room and stepping inside.
Who-or maybe what-he's met with was not what Baekhyun was expecting.
His side of the room seems completely normal; empty mattress, nightstand, dresser.
It's what's on the other bed that throws Baekhyun off.
A large lump lays diagonally across the bed, a tuft of what looks like blond hair peeking out at the top.
And the snores.
Deep, unusually long snores come from under the mass of blankets, a new one emitted with each rise and fall of the blankets.
Baekhyun releases the breath he just realized he was holding, taking a step forward from the door towards his bed. After gently setting his bag and paper down on the bed, he tiptoes over to the sleeping body.
He doesn't want to wake this person who he's assuming is his roommate, he's just curious.
Reaching out a hand ever so slowly, Baekhyun pinches a corner of the blanket over his roommate's face and tugs gently.
Just as a hand shoots out and grabs Baekhyun's wrist.
Baekhyun screams.
His roommate sits straight up with a similar scream, their other hand sending a rather hard punch to Baekhyun's stomach.
Doubled over, Baekhyun crumples on the edge of the bed, eyes watering.
"Don't hurt me" he gasps out, a hand on his stomach.
'Please,' he adds mentally, trying to regain his breath as Tao's words of advice run through his mind, 'please don't try to become me and steal everyone I love either, you really wouldn't want to-'
"Sorry! I'm so sorry but you kind of freaked me out by hovering over me like that!" a voice speaks quickly from his side now.
Ah, so this must be his roommate.
Baekhyun straightens up cautiously, wary to meet his new roommate for reasons other than gender now.
Large, brown eyes stare back at him, short, honey blonde hair pulled into two messy pigtails not even brushing her shoulders. A loose t-shirt hangs from her slim frame, comfy looking sweatpants fitting to her hips below, and fuzzy blue socks stick out of the very bottom.
She raises a hand with bright blue nails to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
"Sorry about punching you, really, it's just a reflex," she says again, pausing a second before holding out a hand.
"Luhanna, but most people just call me Lu," she says cheerfully, shaking Baekhyun's hand vigorously.
Baekhyun opens his mouth to respond, then pauses.
Name.
Well, crap, he forgot to think of a new name.
But Luhanna's staring at him quizzically, their hands still clasped while Baekhyun opens and closes his mouth uselessly.
"Bae?" he finally chokes out.
"Bae?" Luhanna repeats.
They look at each other for a moment, their hands still moving in between each other, before Baekhyun finally pulls away, putting a smile on his face.
"Yup, Bae, that's me, nice to meet you Luhanna," he finally manages to say, and Luhanna smiles back.
"Nice to meet you too, Bae, sorry I was sleeping when you got here," she says with a sheepish smile. "I got here a little earlier, but since my new roommate wasn't here yet," she gives Baekhyun ahard playful punch on the arm, "well, as you already know, I fell asleep."
Baekhyun lets out a laugh, trying to inconspicuously rub his armnot that he can't take a punch, and walks back over to flop down on his bed.
He can hear Tao's voice shouting "Flashing the world, Baek!" inside his head before he quickly crosses his legs, almost falling off of the bed in the process.
Lu quirks an eyebrow at his side of the room, "Where's all of your stuff, Bae?" she questions, and now Baekhyun fully takes in her side of the room.
Manchester United posters decorate the walls around her bed, little white lights strung amongst them.
Her blankets are red and orange, adding some color to the room, and a cute little deer plushie sits amongst the multiple pillows on her bed.
"Oh, I'm having it brought a little later tonight, I'd just wanted to get here and get comfortable first without lugging it all around," he says, and Lu nods her head.
"Oh yeah, you're a freshie, aren't you?" she questions with a grin, chuckling when Baekhyun nods.
"What?" Baekhyun asks warily.
"Oh nothing, just thinking about all the fun stuff you have to do," she replies, flopping back into her mound of blankets and cuddling her plushie, "Just wait until you have to go meet the principle for the first time" she laughs, a nice warm sound that makes Baekhyun like her even more.
Although he's not entirely sure he wants to meet this principle, based off Lu's mischievous expression.
But for now, Baekhyun's simply relieved that he found his room, met his roommatewithout too many difficulties, and kept his gender a secret.
Even though that last success dealt a blow to Baekhyun's sense of masculinity, since no one even questioned his gender.
Yup.
No one.
Nada.
So now it's Tao's disguise: 2 (counting Gorgeous and Lu), Baekhyun's masculinity: 0.
***
Baekhyun's luggage comes later.
Along with his wonderful companions.
Baekhyun's starting to wonder whether that was a good idea, or if he should have just begged Tao to bring his stuff.
Then again, Tao might have never left his "baby" if he'd come.
Especially after his phone call with him earlier, in which Tao had questioned over everything from the condition of his faux s to the mentality of his roommate (both of which took some working around with Lu sitting in the same room).
So now Baekhyun waits in his dorm, reading the incoming text messages from his two friends with increasing doubt about his decisions.
Baek: hey when r u two coming??
Jonginnie: On our way, PrincessB. Will arrive in approximately 7.5x2 minutes.
Baek: wtf PrincessB??
Jonginnie: Your code name, Agent. Embrace it.
Baek: stahp
Jonginnie: How goes the roommate?
Baek: great so far...non-psychopathic as far as I can tell although she punched me when I first got here...accidentally:/
Jonginnie: Ahh, feisty. She hot?
Baek: Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought you 'bat for the other team'..
Jonginnie: u and I brotha...and just cuz I am a fierce competitor in that thrilling game of ball does NOT mean I don't glance across the fence once and again to appreciate the other side of the playing court
Baek:...
XingKing: my thoughts exactly, Baek
Baek: I'm sorry but who's driving here exactly??
XingKing: that would be meee
Baek: ?!!
Jonginnie: just kidding PrincessB, it is I who is texting from both of our phones, geez I don't wanna die just yet
XingKing: ditto
Jonginnie: (^•^)
Jonginnie: !!!
Jonginnie: (<••>)
XingKing: wootwoot
Baek: UR KILLING MY PHONE
Jonginnie: sorry I just got really excited cuz ur domain just came into view
Baek: wonderful
Baek: u guys have to be quiet when u come I think Lu's asleep
Jonginnie: Lu??
Baek: roomie
Jonginnie: ahh, ze hottie;)
Baek: maybe only Lay should come in
Jonginnie: hehe never
Baek: (^o^)
Baek: Kai?
Baek: still there??
Baek: well crap
Baekhyun gulps when he receives no response, hoping Lu stays asleep long enough for the crazies coming to their room and leave without giving anything away. Looking over at the lump that is his roommate, Baekhyun feels relieved when he sees the steady rise and fall of the blankets.
There's a knock at the door, followed by a high pitched "yoohoooo" and several giggles.
Baekhyun scrambles off his bed, tossing off the blanket that Lu lent him earlier, and unlocks the door without bothering to look in the peephole.
Lay stands on one side, suitcase handle in hand and a bored expression gracing his features.
A mound of blankets and pillows stands next to him, red hair poking out at the top.
"Room service," the mound says in an unusually high pitched voice, shaking with giggles the next moment.
Lay's starting to look like he's holding back laughter as well.
Baekhyun hauls the two inside before they wake up the dorm, shutting the door gently behind them.
Kai's still giggling as he waddles around Baekhyun's bed, pausing before flopping on top of it in his cocoon of blankets. Lay rolls Baekhyun's suitcase up next to his dresser, turning around to fall back on the bed as well, tugging some of the sheets from Kai to cover up with too.
"Thanks so much for bringing my stuff guys," Baekhyun says, turning away from ping his suitcase to face his friends.
Or should he say friend, since he only sees Lay sprawled out on his bed.
Kai, on the other hand, is hovering over Luhanna's sleeping form, a look of stealth on his face.
Baekhyun gasps.
"Kai! Stop that and come here right now!" Baekhyun half whispers.
But Kai's too curious, reaching out a hand for the edge of Luhanna's blanket covering her head.
"Don't do it Kai," Baekhyun warns, a sense of deja vu washing over him.
Too late.
"Roomie-" Kai singsongs softly, tugging the blanket gently.
And then a hand's shooting out from the blanket pile, except instead of hitting the stomach, like what happened with Baekhyun, Kai gets hit more northwards.
Right in the windpipe.
He lets out a sound similar to a cat choking up a hairball before sinking to the ground, both hands clutching his throat as he gasps for air.
Lay snorts from the bed, eyes still closed.
Lu sits straight up, hair disheveled and looking around for her attacker.
"Oh my," she says when she spots Kai floundering on the floor for air.
"I'm really sorry Lu, you can go back to sleep they're just dropping off my stuff," Baekhyun says quickly, eyeing Kai as he drags himself across the floor towards Baekhyun's side.
But Lu's already up, shaking out her hair and sitting cross-legged on her bed with a yawn.
"No no, it's fine," she pauses, looking over at Kai, "did I do that?"
"Yes," Kai croaks out, finally pulling himself up on Baekhyun's bed to hide under the blankets.
"Sorry," Lu says with a wince, also trying to hide a laugh behind her deer plushie.
"So I see you got your stuff, Bae," Lu observes, glancing over at the blankets and suitcase on Baekhyun's side of the room.
"Yup, anything for our Bae," Lay says with a smirk, reclining on his hands and raising an eyebrow at the new name.
Baekhyun sends Lay a kick to the shins while smiling sweetly down at his friend.
"And you guys are?" Lu asks, raising her eyebrows at Baekhyun.
"Oh! Sorry, I completely forgot to introduce everyone!" Baekhyun says with a start, shaking his head.
"Friends-" Baekhyun says with a nod.
"Brother-" Kai says, sitting up.
"Boyfriend-" Lay pipes in simultaneously, glancing down at his nails.
Luhanna raises an eyebrow.
Baekhyun chokes, repeating "Friends," again, a little firmer, and sends glares at the two weirdos on his bed.
They just look back with wide, innocent expressions.
"Mmhmm," Lu hums with a curious expression. "Well I'm Luhanna, you guys can call me Lu, though, nice to meet you!" she grins with a small wave.
Lay gives a genuine smile back and salutes with a "Lay", and Kai looks like he's already forgetting the previous punch to the throat as his mouth pulls into a grin too.
"I'm Kai," he practically purrs.
Baekhyun rolls his eyes.
"All right, well, it's getting kind of late," Baekhyun interrupts, fearing anymore conversation from Kai and Lay. "Thanks again for bringing my stuff guys," he continues, pushing the two from his bed and ushering them towards the door.
"Hold on, hold on," Lay says, putting on the brakes against Baekhyun's pushing and turning around to face the shorter.
"Don't we get a goodnight hug?" he says with a pout, holding out his arms.
Baekhyun swears he hears Luhanna laugh.
"Goodnight," Baekhyun singsongs and Lay pulls him into a strong hug with an "awww".
"Goodnight, Bae," Lay snickers, breath grazing against Baekhyun's ear.
"Shut up" Baekhyun whispers back. "It was the first thing that came out," he pokes Lay's sides, eliciting giggles from the younger.
"My turn!" Kai pipes in happily, grabbing Baekhyun from Lay's arms and smushing him against his chest.
"Wow," Kai wiggles his torso against Baekhyun. "I'm not really sure if I like these things, they're kind of pointy," he pulls Baekhyun away at arms length to glare down at the other's chest.
"Aww, you don't want more hugs?" Baekhyun coos, grabbing ahold of Kai.
"No no Baek, don't-it hurts-" Kai yelps, cut off when Baekhyun yanks him forward.
The faux s were kind of hard.
And pointy.
Perfect for spearing his friend's chest.
"Goodnight!" Baekhyun chirps happily when Kai finally pulls away with a pained look and hands over his own chest.
"Byeee" Lu calls from her bed, waving her plushie in the air.
Baekhyun closes the door after his friends with a sigh, turning around to face Lu.
"They seem nice," she says, currently lying on her side with head at the foot of her bed and socked feet resting against the headboard.
"Oh, they're wonderful," Baekhyun responds, straightening out the blankets on his own bed before lying down.
"I especially liked the red hair on that one," Lu says with a laugh.
"Oh, yeah, one of my other friends loves experimenting with hair dye," Baekhyun turns his head to the side to smile at Lu, who lets out a yawn.
Baekhyun's pretty tired as well, so after grabbing some pajamas from his bag, he asks Luhanna if she wants the bathroom first.
He'd worried that she'd think it weird that he didn't just change in the room, but turns out she does the same thing.
Well that saves him from some awkward situations.
After returning from the bathroom, clad in a matching leopard print pajama outfit (courtesy of Tao), Baekhyun finally relaxes on his bed, calling out a soft "goodnight" to Lu's sleeping form.
And then he flicks off his lamp, a sense of excitement settling in his stomach as he closes his eyes.
Because, so far so good, and the real work will be beginning soon.
But Baekhyun's feeling more confident about it already.
'Of course I can, yes, I can do this, because I am a girl, I am a hot girl and I am going to strut my stuff like there's no tom-'
Baekhyun's cut off from his pep talk, however, with a loud exclamation of "READY?" nearby.
Very near by.
Courtesy of Kai.
"Haa, sorry, I am just. really. excited" Kai says through a smile that seems partially excited and partially just-got-on-a-rollercoaster-and-realized-you're-not-buckled-in sensation.
Somewhere in the middle there.
"Ignore him, Baek," Tao pipes up from the drivers seat, shaking his head as Kai yelps out another "EXCITED" while simultaneously rubbing his hands up and down his thighs.
"You're gonna be great, and Kai and Lay will be coming later to help out, although I'm not sure how much of a reassurance that is," Tao continues, his new blue hair glinting in the rearview mirror.
This was it.
The first day.
After running back over to Kai and Lay's apartment to allow Tao to prep him one last time, the four had headed out to Illyria to drop Baekhyun off for his first day.
So now Baekhyun had a fresh coat of eyeliner (because his parents were already a little shocked when he'd come home right after his makeover and also because he usually ended up stabbing himself in the eye when he tried applying it himself), some very small
Adjusting his faux s uncomfortably, Baekhyun nods back at Tao and stares out the window.
Just as the university comes into sight.
Tao lets out a loud "There it is!", startling Lay awake from his nap against the window.
Baekhyun tries not to gag.
Kai's eyes widen even more.
"I'M FREAKING OUT" he shouts a few octaves higher than normal, instantly slapping a hand over his mouth and then resuming rubbing his thighs at a slightly faster pace.
Trying to quell his sense of nausea, Baekhyun closes his eyes and breathes, allowing Lay's calming words
It helps.
Or at least, Baekhyun thought it helped, but that was before Tao started slowing the car down.
Cracking an eye open, Baekhyun sees the large "Illyria University" stone sign right before his eyes, just to the side of a large archway underneath which multiple students with various suitcases are walking through.
Baekhyun sits up quickly, choking as the seatbelt digs into his windpip.
"Turn around," he chokes out, reaching towards Tao. "If you love me please turn around right now!" Baekhyun cries, yanking against his seatbelt repetitively.
Unfortunately, Baekhyun's outburst only spurs Kai on more, as the red haired boy joins in with yanking on his seatbelt as well, murmuring low "oh no"s over and over again with his eyes darting back and forth.
"Huh uh, Baek, we're not doing this now" Tao says over the commotion, shaking his head.
"No, Tao, I don't want this anymore-"
"Baek, you're going in-"
"No I'm not!" Baekhyun shouts.
"I swear, I did not do all of this for you to just quit-" Tao starts, turning around in his seat.
"I'm not quitting I'm saving my dignity!"
"Baek, you're going in there TODAY!"
"MAKE ME!"
"That's it I'm coming back ther-"
"ENOUGH"
Everyone freezes; Baekhyun clutching his seatbelt like a lifeline and Tao poised over the drivers seat with one long leg already hiked up.
Even Kai stops with his rocking, wide eyes turning like a deer caught in headlights.
Lay narrows his eyes at the three from the passenger seat, twisted around in his seat to view all of them.
"Tao, sit back down," Lay says quietly, now looking fully awake, before continuing.
"Byun Baekhyun, remember what you're doing this for. You have not been handed this opportunity for nothing and you're sure as hell not going to back out now, got it? Now collect yourself, grow a frickin' pair of ovaries like you need to, and get your out there. Now." Lay finishes quietly but firmly, staring hard at Baekhyun.
"And would you calm down, Kai, you're giving me stress and neither of us are the ones going to this college" he says, turning his gaze to Kai's still wide eyed one.
Fortunately, Lay's words seem to have a stabilizing affect on everyone, allowing everything to move on smoothly afterwards.
Well, almost everything, as Tao practically sits on the car horn while trying to get back in his seat, causing him to knock his head against the car ceiling, eliciting a few select curse words from said person, while simultaneously terrorizing an incoming freshman unfortunate enough to have crossed the road at the same moment.
Baekhyun opens his door and begins to slide out, Tao already waiting outside.
Tao gasps.
"Baek! You can't just flash the world! Keep your legs closed when you're sliding out of a car!" he reprimands.
Oh yes.
Another point of discomfort.
Apparently, skirts were a part of the female school uniform here at Illyria, a piece of information Baekhyun had quite suddenly become aware of earlier that morning when he'd opened the package.
"Got it, no flashing, thanks Tao" Baekhyun huffs as he slowly slides out of his seat, awkwardly holding down the edges of his black skirt.
Tao hands him his cross-body bag and the paper with his dorm information, the few items Baekhyun had brought with him since Kai and Lay were bringing the rest later that night.
"Thanks," Baekhyun mutters, distracted as he rearranges his clothes, adjusts his s, fixes his bag, avoids Kai's nervous glances from inside the car, internally becoming increasingly flustered until he feels a hand on his shoulder.
"Baek, relax," Tao says calmly, tipping Baekhyun's face up with a hand under his chin. "You will be fine, just be calm and hope your roommate isn't a psychopath who tries to become you and steal everyone you love, and yes I am talking about the Roommate movie because that is some freaky realistic stuff,"
Baekhyun squints up at the other, "Wow, thanks Tao, I'll keep that in mind," he replies, not needing anything else to worry about.
"I bet she will be completely non-psychopathic, now come here," Tao reassures before pulling Baekhyun into a strong hug, picking him up a little off the ground due to the height difference.
"Tao-makeup-" Baekhyun mumbles into Tao's shirt, trying to breathe.
"Oh, right," Tao gasps, dropping Baekhyun wobbly-kneed back to the ground and checking for unwanted smears of eyeliner on
"Come on Tao, it's time to let your baby go," Lay calls from the car, now rubbing Kai's hand over the seat to keep the other calm.
Tao pouts.
"I guess this is goodbye," he starts.
"Tao, you live like fifteen minutes awa-"
"Shhh, it doesn't matter" Tao cuts him off, holding up a hand.
"I'm so proud of our work, Baekkie, no one will find out with your hair," Tao reaches out to adjust a strand, "your skirt, which is adorable on you, by the way," he continues with a flip to Baekhyun's skirt, "and these look pretty genuine-" Tao reaches out and taps on Baekhyun's s.
Baekhyun swats him away quickly with a scowl.
"You can't just grab them out in public, Tao!" Baekhyun whispers with a blush.
"Sorry, sorry, I forgot," Tao says with his hands up in the air.
Baekhyun adjusts himself once more before taking a breath.
"Ok, well, I'm off to meet my roommate now, wish me luck" he says grimly, yelping when Tao swoops in to give him a kiss on the cheek, a habit they'd formed when they were all kids.
"Stop that! People are going to think we're a couple with you manhandling me!" Baekhyun swats Tao away again.
"Aww, you know you'd love some of this," Tao smirks, backing away towards the car where Baekhyun can see Lay rolling his eyes.
"I don't know, Taozi, new school, new babe pool" Baekhyun smirks back, laughing at Tao's fake offended gasp.
And then his three last comforts in the world pull away, leaving Baekhyun with no choice but to go meet his hopefully non-psychopathic roommate.
Baekhyun turns to face the large archway to Illyria, the buildings coming into view not too much further down the path. He walks slowly until he's under the arch, trying to focus on putting more swing in his hips and overall already looking like
"Ok, Baek," he whispers to himself, closing his eyes and taking a breath. He can hear the voices of fellow students already, talking and laughing and squealing when some of them spot a friend. "You are a girl, you are a smokin' hot girl,".
One last deep breath.
"Let's do this."
Confidence levels high as they're going to go, Baekhyun opens his eyes and starts forward, a pep in his step and a smile on his face.
That is, until he's side-swiped suddenly by something tall, gangly, and carrying a very large suitcase.
"Oof," Baekhyun falls to the ground, squishing his cross-body bag under one hip.
"Really?" he mutters under his breath, already hearing a low voice frantically voicing apologies.
Irritated and frazzled once again, Baekhyun picks himself up and dusts off his skirt, turning to give this guy a piece of his mind.
What he does not expect, however, is to come face to face with
Baekhyun's jaw drops.
"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry," he's saying quickly, scrambling up from the ground, but Baekhyun's not listening.
He's too absorbed in this person's long, toned legs, his wide, warm brown eyes, his cute mouth moving a mile a minute with apologies.
Baekhyun's snapped out of his daydream with a light hand on his cheek.
"Can. You. Hear. Me?" gorgeous boy's saying slowly, eyes even wider in fear. "Oh my gosh I gave her a concussion," he gasps, patting Baekhyun's cheek lightly.
Baekhyun swears he sees sparks from his peripheral vision where the other is touching his cheek, and he feels tingly inside. But he pulls away and clears his throat, the physical contact and remembrance that he's a girl bringing him back to reality.
"You're fine, I mean I'm fine-you're gorgeous-" Baekhyun stammers out, tilting his voice just a little higher than his normal pitch, and then blushing at his words.
'Real smooth, Baek' he thinks, but gorgeous boy looks too relieved that he didn't kill Baekhyun's brain cells to have heard him clearly.
"Oh , I'm really sorry but I'm late," gorgeous boy glances at his phone. Gathering up his sticker-covered suitcase, he looks at Baekhyun again, concern coming back.
"Really, I'm fine" Baekhyun reassures him, awkwardly rubbing his neck and hoping his blush isn't too evident.
"Ok, ok, well, I'm gonna go, I'm really sorry," the other starts walking away, almost knocking into someone else.
And then-
"Oh, and you don't need to keep reassuring yourself, you look great, too!" gorgeous boy calls out with a blinding smile, before turning and speed walking away.
Baekhyun dies a little inside.
"He heard that?" he blushes, fixing his hair and skirt.
'Well, at least Tao's disguise is working,' Baekhyun thinks, 'not to mention the added bonus of Mr. Gorgeous-no! Not the time Baek, stop acting like a star-struck schoolgirl' Baekhyun shakes his head, ignoring the little voice telling him that he is, indeed, a star-struck schoolgirl, and keeps walking.
Making his way inside what he assumes is the correct building, Baekhyun avoids collision with a group of gossiping girls and glances back down at his paper.
Rereading the cheerful message, Baekhyun's stomach does flips as he walks up the stairs to his dorm level.
And then he's standing in front of the dorm room with a number printed on it identical to the number on his sheet of paper, butterflies in his stomach.
"Ovaries, grow a pair of ovaries Baek," Baekhyun says, taking Lay's words to heart.
And then he's unlocking his room and stepping inside.
Who-or maybe what-he's met with was not what Baekhyun was expecting.
His side of the room seems completely normal; empty mattress, nightstand, dresser.
It's what's on the other bed that throws Baekhyun off.
A large lump lays diagonally across the bed, a tuft of what looks like blond hair peeking out at the top.
And the snores.
Deep, unusually long snores come from under the mass of blankets, a new one emitted with each rise and fall of the blankets.
Baekhyun releases the breath he just realized he was holding, taking a step forward from the door towards his bed. After gently setting his bag and paper down on the bed, he tiptoes over to the sleeping body.
He doesn't want to wake this person who he's assuming is his roommate, he's just curious.
Reaching out a hand ever so slowly, Baekhyun pinches a corner of the blanket over his roommate's face and tugs gently.
Just as a hand shoots out and grabs Baekhyun's wrist.
Baekhyun screams.
His roommate sits straight up with a similar scream, their other hand sending a rather hard punch to Baekhyun's stomach.
Doubled over, Baekhyun crumples on the edge of the bed, eyes watering.
"Don't hurt me" he gasps out, a hand on his stomach.
'Please,' he adds mentally, trying to regain his breath as Tao's words of advice run through his mind, 'please don't try to become me and steal everyone I love either, you really wouldn't want to-'
"Sorry! I'm so sorry but you kind of freaked me out by hovering over me like that!" a voice speaks quickly from his side now.
Ah, so this must be his roommate.
Baekhyun straightens up cautiously, wary to meet his new roommate for reasons other than gender now.
Large, brown eyes stare back at him, short, honey blonde hair pulled into two messy pigtails not even brushing her shoulders. A loose t-shirt hangs from her slim frame, comfy looking sweatpants fitting to her hips below, and fuzzy blue socks stick out of the very bottom.
She raises a hand with bright blue nails to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
"Sorry about punching you, really, it's just a reflex," she says again, pausing a second before holding out a hand.
"Luhanna, but most people just call me Lu," she says cheerfully, shaking Baekhyun's hand vigorously.
Baekhyun opens his mouth to respond, then pauses.
Name.
Well, crap, he forgot to think of a new name.
But Luhanna's staring at him quizzically, their hands still clasped while Baekhyun opens and closes his mouth uselessly.
"Bae?" he finally chokes out.
"Bae?" Luhanna repeats.
They look at each other for a moment, their hands still moving in between each other, before Baekhyun finally pulls away, putting a smile on his face.
"Yup, Bae, that's me, nice to meet you Luhanna," he finally manages to say, and Luhanna smiles back.
"Nice to meet you too, Bae, sorry I was sleeping when you got here," she says with a sheepish smile. "I got here a little earlier, but since my new roommate wasn't here yet," she gives Baekhyun a
Baekhyun lets out a laugh, trying to inconspicuously rub his arm
He can hear Tao's voice shouting "Flashing the world, Baek!" inside his head before he quickly crosses his legs, almost falling off of the bed in the process.
Lu quirks an eyebrow at his side of the room, "Where's all of your stuff, Bae?" she questions, and now Baekhyun fully takes in her side of the room.
Manchester United posters decorate the walls around her bed, little white lights strung amongst them.
Her blankets are red and orange, adding some color to the room, and a cute little deer plushie sits amongst the multiple pillows on her bed.
"Oh, I'm having it brought a little later tonight, I'd just wanted to get here and get comfortable first without lugging it all around," he says, and Lu nods her head.
"Oh yeah, you're a freshie, aren't you?" she questions with a grin, chuckling when Baekhyun nods.
"What?" Baekhyun asks warily.
"Oh nothing, just thinking about all the fun stuff you have to do," she replies, flopping back into her mound of blankets and cuddling her plushie, "Just wait until you have to go meet the principle for the first time" she laughs, a nice warm sound that makes Baekhyun like her even more.
Although he's not entirely sure he wants to meet this principle, based off Lu's mischievous expression.
But for now, Baekhyun's simply relieved that he found his room, met his roommate
Even though that last success dealt a blow to Baekhyun's sense of masculinity, since no one even questioned his gender.
Yup.
No one.
Nada.
So now it's Tao's disguise: 2 (counting Gorgeous and Lu), Baekhyun's masculinity: 0.
***
Baekhyun's luggage comes later.
Along with his wonderful companions.
Baekhyun's starting to wonder whether that was a good idea, or if he should have just begged Tao to bring his stuff.
Then again, Tao might have never left his "baby" if he'd come.
Especially after his phone call with him earlier, in which Tao had questioned over everything from the condition of his faux s to the mentality of his roommate (both of which took some working around with Lu sitting in the same room).
So now Baekhyun waits in his dorm, reading the incoming text messages from his two friends with increasing doubt about his decisions.
Baek: hey when r u two coming??
Jonginnie: On our way, PrincessB. Will arrive in approximately 7.5x2 minutes.
Baek: wtf PrincessB??
Jonginnie: Your code name, Agent. Embrace it.
Baek: stahp
Jonginnie: How goes the roommate?
Baek: great so far...non-psychopathic as far as I can tell although she punched me when I first got here...accidentally:/
Jonginnie: Ahh, feisty. She hot?
Baek: Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought you 'bat for the other team'..
Jonginnie: u and I brotha...and just cuz I am a fierce competitor in that thrilling game of ball does NOT mean I don't glance across the fence once and again to appreciate the other side of the playing court
Baek:...
XingKing: my thoughts exactly, Baek
Baek: I'm sorry but who's driving here exactly??
XingKing: that would be meee
Baek: ?!!
Jonginnie: just kidding PrincessB, it is I who is texting from both of our phones, geez I don't wanna die just yet
XingKing: ditto
Jonginnie: (^•^)
Jonginnie: !!!
Jonginnie: (<••>)
XingKing: wootwoot
Baek: UR KILLING MY PHONE
Jonginnie: sorry I just got really excited cuz ur domain just came into view
Baek: wonderful
Baek: u guys have to be quiet when u come I think Lu's asleep
Jonginnie: Lu??
Baek: roomie
Jonginnie: ahh, ze hottie;)
Baek: maybe only Lay should come in
Jonginnie: hehe never
Baek: (^o^)
Baek: Kai?
Baek: still there??
Baek: well crap
Baekhyun gulps when he receives no response, hoping Lu stays asleep long enough for the crazies coming to their room and leave without giving anything away. Looking over at the lump that is his roommate, Baekhyun feels relieved when he sees the steady rise and fall of the blankets.
There's a knock at the door, followed by a high pitched "yoohoooo" and several giggles.
Baekhyun scrambles off his bed, tossing off the blanket that Lu lent him earlier, and unlocks the door without bothering to look in the peephole.
Lay stands on one side, suitcase handle in hand and a bored expression gracing his features.
A mound of blankets and pillows stands next to him, red hair poking out at the top.
"Room service," the mound says in an unusually high pitched voice, shaking with giggles the next moment.
Lay's starting to look like he's holding back laughter as well.
Baekhyun hauls the two inside before they wake up the dorm, shutting the door gently behind them.
Kai's still giggling as he waddles around Baekhyun's bed, pausing before flopping on top of it in his cocoon of blankets. Lay rolls Baekhyun's suitcase up next to his dresser, turning around to fall back on the bed as well, tugging some of the sheets from Kai to cover up with too.
"Thanks so much for bringing my stuff guys," Baekhyun says, turning away from ping his suitcase to face his friends.
Or should he say friend, since he only sees Lay sprawled out on his bed.
Kai, on the other hand, is hovering over Luhanna's sleeping form, a look of stealth on his face.
Baekhyun gasps.
"Kai! Stop that and come here right now!" Baekhyun half whispers.
But Kai's too curious, reaching out a hand for the edge of Luhanna's blanket covering her head.
"Don't do it Kai," Baekhyun warns, a sense of deja vu washing over him.
Too late.
"Roomie-" Kai singsongs softly, tugging the blanket gently.
And then a hand's shooting out from the blanket pile, except instead of hitting the stomach, like what happened with Baekhyun, Kai gets hit more northwards.
Right in the windpipe.
He lets out a sound similar to a cat choking up a hairball before sinking to the ground, both hands clutching his throat as he gasps for air.
Lay snorts from the bed, eyes still closed.
Lu sits straight up, hair disheveled and looking around for her attacker.
"Oh my," she says when she spots Kai floundering on the floor for air.
"I'm really sorry Lu, you can go back to sleep they're just dropping off my stuff," Baekhyun says quickly, eyeing Kai as he drags himself across the floor towards Baekhyun's side.
But Lu's already up, shaking out her hair and sitting cross-legged on her bed with a yawn.
"No no, it's fine," she pauses, looking over at Kai, "did I do that?"
"Yes," Kai croaks out, finally pulling himself up on Baekhyun's bed to hide under the blankets.
"Sorry," Lu says with a wince, also trying to hide a laugh behind her deer plushie.
"So I see you got your stuff, Bae," Lu observes, glancing over at the blankets and suitcase on Baekhyun's side of the room.
"Yup, anything for our Bae," Lay says with a smirk, reclining on his hands and raising an eyebrow at the new name.
Baekhyun sends Lay a kick to the shins while smiling sweetly down at his friend.
"And you guys are?" Lu asks, raising her eyebrows at Baekhyun.
"Oh! Sorry, I completely forgot to introduce everyone!" Baekhyun says with a start, shaking his head.
"Friends-" Baekhyun says with a nod.
"Brother-" Kai says, sitting up.
"Boyfriend-" Lay pipes in simultaneously, glancing down at his nails.
Luhanna raises an eyebrow.
Baekhyun chokes, repeating "Friends," again, a little firmer, and sends glares at the two weirdos on his bed.
They just look back with wide, innocent expressions.
"Mmhmm," Lu hums with a curious expression. "Well I'm Luhanna, you guys can call me Lu, though, nice to meet you!" she grins with a small wave.
Lay gives a genuine smile back and salutes with a "Lay", and Kai looks like he's already forgetting the previous punch to the throat as his mouth pulls into a grin too.
"I'm Kai," he practically purrs.
Baekhyun rolls his eyes.
"All right, well, it's getting kind of late," Baekhyun interrupts, fearing anymore conversation from Kai and Lay. "Thanks again for bringing my stuff guys," he continues, pushing the two from his bed and ushering them towards the door.
"Hold on, hold on," Lay says, putting on the brakes against Baekhyun's pushing and turning around to face the shorter.
"Don't we get a goodnight hug?" he says with a pout, holding out his arms.
Baekhyun swears he hears Luhanna laugh.
"Goodnight," Baekhyun singsongs and Lay pulls him into a strong hug with an "awww".
"Goodnight, Bae," Lay snickers, breath grazing against Baekhyun's ear.
"Shut up" Baekhyun whispers back. "It was the first thing that came out," he pokes Lay's sides, eliciting giggles from the younger.
"My turn!" Kai pipes in happily, grabbing Baekhyun from Lay's arms and smushing him against his chest.
"Wow," Kai wiggles his torso against Baekhyun. "I'm not really sure if I like these things, they're kind of pointy," he pulls Baekhyun away at arms length to glare down at the other's chest.
"Aww, you don't want more hugs?" Baekhyun coos, grabbing ahold of Kai.
"No no Baek, don't-it hurts-" Kai yelps, cut off when Baekhyun yanks him forward.
The faux s were kind of hard.
And pointy.
Perfect for spearing his friend's chest.
"Goodnight!" Baekhyun chirps happily when Kai finally pulls away with a pained look and hands over his own chest.
"Byeee" Lu calls from her bed, waving her plushie in the air.
Baekhyun closes the door after his friends with a sigh, turning around to face Lu.
"They seem nice," she says, currently lying on her side with head at the foot of her bed and socked feet resting against the headboard.
"Oh, they're wonderful," Baekhyun responds, straightening out the blankets on his own bed before lying down.
"I especially liked the red hair on that one," Lu says with a laugh.
"Oh, yeah, one of my other friends loves experimenting with hair dye," Baekhyun turns his head to the side to smile at Lu, who lets out a yawn.
Baekhyun's pretty tired as well, so after grabbing some pajamas from his bag, he asks Luhanna if she wants the bathroom first.
He'd worried that she'd think it weird that he didn't just change in the room, but turns out she does the same thing.
Well that saves him from some awkward situations.
After returning from the bathroom, clad in a matching leopard print pajama outfit (courtesy of Tao), Baekhyun finally relaxes on his bed, calling out a soft "goodnight" to Lu's sleeping form.
And then he flicks off his lamp, a sense of excitement settling in his stomach as he closes his eyes.
Because, so far so good, and the real work will be beginning soon.
But Baekhyun's feeling more confident about it already.
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