A/N: Annyeong! ^_^v This week is TEST WEEK and today is day 5. How are you holding up so far? Are you still breathing? LMAO. XD WINNER slaying Aces and non-Aces with their visuals. Smh. How are we going to survive the audios and the videos? Let us pray that each of us may gain the strength to survive it all. Hahaha. Anyways, here is an update to celebrate test week! Let’s all cheer for the five boys we’ve waited so many months for! WINNER fighting! <3

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[Eli POV]

I woke up to the sound of loud music harassing my eardrums. I groaned, slowly opening my eyes. The music suddenly shifts to an unknown ballad with the volume adjusted to the minimum. I then scan my surroundings and belatedly realize that I was inside a car sitting at the passenger seat. But whose car? I glance to my left and see Seunghoon silently looking at me, probably expecting me to say something first.

What happened again? With my eyebrows knitted together, I struggle to remember what had occurred and the memories of what happened came flooding back like a tidal wave. I instantly flushed in embarrassment.

I fainted. Jesus.

“You remember?” Seunghoon broke the silence. I didn’t look at him. I was too mortified to look at him.

“Hey,” he compelled me to look at him, gently touching the side of my chin. The contact made me freeze in my spot.

“Look at me,” he implored in a soft tone.

And so I did, I looked at him. His expression clearly showed how guilty he felt, he probably blames himself. But there is also something else behind all that guilt, amusement? He was amused? How is this amusing? The low laugh that quickly followed proved that I was right. I grimaced.

“I’m glad you find all of this amusing,” I said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry… I just… I know it’s probably my fault and I’m very guilty honestly but… You fainted… Because of a kiss.” he replied and giggled. 

“That was my first kiss.” That’s not what I had planned to say but it’s what came out of my stupid mouth. I bit my tongue.

Idiot. Way to embarrass yourself further.

He’s probably figured out my inexperience in dating by now. Great. Just what I need. I sighed and looked away. We were both quiet for a moment before he spoke again, “Eli. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For laughing about you fainting. I didn’t know that it was your first kiss…”

“You can laugh, I know it must amuse you to know that I never kissed anybody for the past twenty years of my life.” I wasn’t really mad at Seunghoon, although that’s how I might sound to him right now. I’m more annoyed at myself, to be honest.

I heard him shuffle in his seat and exhale. “There’s nothing amusing about it at all.” I looked at him now.

“If I had known that it was your first kiss, I would have made it special. I would have planned something grand to make it more meaningful because a girl as special as you deserves a special first kiss. I’m sorry if I robbed you the opportunity to have that. I’m a jerk.”

Now he was blaming himself again? I hate it when he starts feeling guilty. Unbidden, memories of Kpop Star and Who Is Next flashed before my eyes. That performance with Park Jung Eun and Choi Rae Sung when he got in and the other two were eliminated, he cried out of guilt for his friends. The same thing happened in Who Is Next finale when Team A won, he still cried for his dongsaengs who lost against them. It pains me to see his face contorted in guilt like what’s happening right now.  

I took his hand in mine and forced him to meet my eyes. When he did, I said, “Don’t blame yourself. Stop blaming yourself for things you couldn’t really stop from happening.” He had this puzzled expression which I knew was because of the fact that I wasn’t only talking about what happened today, I was talking about how he dealt with things in the past, how he drowns himself in guilt every time something terrible happens to other people thinking that he had a hand in their misfortune.

“But if I didn’t kiss you, then you could still have the chance to have a special first kiss,” he protested.

“It was special,” I said. And I knew that I was saying the right words. I was telling him something that I was realizing that very moment. I smiled and he looked as confused as ever.

“It was special because it came from you.” I said the words slowly, making sure he heard and understood every single word.  

And just like that, the biggest smile he’s ever given me replaced his frown and his smile was just so adorable, it made me smile myself. He then pulled me in for a hug, shocking me for the nth time that day.

“I’m so glad you lost your phone that night.”

Was he talking about that night during WIN finale? He must be.

“You lost something that night but quite the opposite happened for me.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, my face buried in his chest.

“I found something – a treasure.”

“Really? What is it?” I was intrigued, of course. If it was something he treasured, I wanted to know what it was.

“It’s not a what, it’s a who.”

I was going to tell him that I didn’t understand but he added something that made me hug him tighter as if the hug was going to be a gesture enough to show how thankful I was that he was here with me right now.

“I found you,” was what he whispered before planting a kiss at the top of my head.

Yesterday, I was just his fan but today, I’ve become his girlfriend. I no longer knew him just from the magazines I read or the shows I watched, I now know him personally. Hearing his whispered words of love while wrapped in his arms still felt like I was living in a dream land, it felt absolutely surreal to me that at the back of my mind, the uncertainty still lingers. I still ask myself if this was real, if he was real.

All my fangirl life, something like this always happened but only in my dreams while I was sound asleep and unconscious, away from the dullness of my daily life. I have always been one who knew exactly how to separate reality from fantasies even before I became a part of this world of biases and fangirls. I tell people that someday, Lee Seunghoon and I will meet and marry and at some point in my life, I may have foolishly led myself to believe that it could be possible but I’ve woken up from that fantasy long ago. I knew better, there was a thick boundary which separates realities and dreams. I may have been a fangirl, but I was not delusional.

I have chosen to become a fan that is destined to love and support my ultimate bias for the rest of his life and for the rest of mine but at a distance and only at a distance. That was the cold hard truth of being a fangirl – you are eternally doomed to suffer this unrequited love for that one person who will never know that you even exist.

But life does give you surprises sometimes, doesn’t it? I was no longer just a fan, I was the girlfriend. Then I thought, maybe unconsciously, I wanted all of my dreams about him to happen in real life so badly that somehow, fate took pity on me and gave me what I wanted the most – to have my dreams crawl their way into my reality, to have my fantasies of Lee Seunghoon come to life.

Now there was nothing to separate, there is no need for a boundary because my dreams and my reality have collided into one.

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A/N: I’m sorry if it’s short. Next chapter will be longer, I promise :p Thoughts on chapter 9? Oh, and what do you think about the new main image? ^_^

Also, I am reminding everyone that I've also posted the story on wattpad. So you can read it there if you like :D Link

Lastly, let us talk about Seunghoon's latest photos....

PLEASE EXPLAIN HOW HE CAN LOOK SO HOT IN THAT TOP AND SHORTY SHORTS. HE IS KILLING ME. ARE YOU DEAD YET? YOU MUST BE BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE CAME HERE FOR.

OH AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE OTHER DAMN PHOTO WHERE HE WAS LYING DOWN AND HAD HIS FEET UP. THOSE LEGS. CURSE THOSE LONG GLORIOUS LEGS. LET ME HAVE EM PLEASE. LOL I'M KIDDING I'M SORRY. I'M SLOWLY LOSING MY SANITY. OR I MAY HAVE LOST IT ALREADY. I AM NOT YET SURE

*BREATHS* EXCUSE  ME WHILE I CRY. BYE