“So let me get this straight,” Sehun says flatly. “Everything that happened to Kyungsoo is your fault?”

Jongin nods miserably. He’s at Club Espresso with Sehun and Chanyeol, and he’s just told them what he’d learned from Kyungsoo’s parents.

“But he ran away because his parents told him about being adopted,” Chanyeol points out, a dollop of whipped cream off the top of his drink – Baekhyun seems to have added an entire can.

“But they only told him because he came home with a broken arm,” Jongin says miserably. “And he only broke his arm because of me. So I’m the reason all of this happened. It’s all my fault.”

 Sehun rolls his eyes. “Somebody is being dramatic.”

Jongin sticks out his tongue childishly.

“Instead of being a big baby,” Sehun says loudly, giving Jongin a nudge. “Maybe you should focus on looking for Kyungsoo’s birth father.”

“Okay, but how on earth do I go about doing that?” Jongin demands. “I don’t know very much about him.”

“You know enough,” Chanyeol points out, wiping a whipped cream mustache off his upper lip. “You know that he’s a Catholic priest – or at least he was. You know that he’s about seventy years old.”

Sehun nods. “You can also research the Catholic maternity homes in Korea,” he points out. “There can’t be that many of them. He’s probably connected somehow to the home that she was sent to.”

Jongin nods thoughtfully. He’s about to answer, but Baekhyun stops by their table just then.

“How are your drinks?” he asks in a friendly manner. Without waiting for an answer, he looks at Chanyeol. “I hope you’re enjoying yours, Channie. I know how much you like whipped cream.” He gives the jolly giant an exaggerated wink, and Chanyeol snorts into his drink so whipped cream goes flying across the table. Baekhyun laughs gleefully. “See you tonight, Channie!”

Jongin arches an eyebrow as Baekhyun walks back to the counter. “Channie?” he repeats. “When did this happen?”

“Forget about stupid nicknames,” Sehun says. “What did he mean by that whipped cream comment?” When Chanyeol’s face turns beet red, he quickly says, “Nevermind. I don’t need to know. Let’s get back to the priest.”

So, when they return to the precinct, Jongin enlists the help of his friends. It’s no easy task. Following Sehun’s advice, they first research the maternity home that Rahee had been sent to. There weren’t a whole lot of homes during that time, as thankfully most of them had been shut down already due to inhumane practices, so there were multiple churches associated with the one near Seondeoksa Temple.

It took several weeks of research done between actual work, but eventually they are able to narrow it down to two possible churches that were associated with the home. One is Shinjeju Catholic Church in Jeju, the other is Jeondong Cathedral in Jeonju. There was a priest at each church that fit the criteria of Kyungsoo’s biological father. The priest at Shinjeju Catholic Church is dead, having passed away thirteen years ago, before Kyungsoo’s disappearance. But the one at Jeondong Cathedral is still alive, as far as Jongin and his friends can tell.

“So you think this guy, this Father Matthew, could be Kyungsoo’s biological father?” Luhan says once they’ve narrowed it down.

Jongin sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know,” he admits. “It seems a bit like a long shot, but what other choice do I have but to investigate it? It’s the only lead I’ve got.”

Luhan frowns, but doesn’t argue.

Jongin’s palms are sweaty. He wipes them on his trousers as he paces the corridor in front of the Chief’s office. He’s been there for fifteen minutes already, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door.

He stops pacing when Minseok comes around the corner, looking over a report. He stops when he sees Jongin, who looks like a deer caught in a headlight. “Jongin?” Minseok says suspiciously; everyone has seemed a bit suspicious of Jongin since his suspension. “What are you doing?”

Jongin panics so he blurts out the truth. “I’m working up the courage to go in and talk to the Chief.”

Minseok lowers his report, amused. “The Chief isn’t that scary,” he says. “Here, I’ll do it for you.”

And before Jongin can stop him, he walks over to the closed door and raps smartly.

“Come in,” the Chief bellows from within.

Minseok opens the door. “I’ve got that report you wanted, Chief,” he announces. “Also, Detective Kim would like a word with you.” He winks at Jongin as he stands aside so Jongin can enter.

Swallowing thickly, Jongin steps into the office.

The Chief gives him a flat look. “What do you want, kid?” he demands.

Jongin feels sort of like throwing up; the Chief really makes him nervous. “I, uh…I was wondering if I could…you know, I need to…well, I was wondering if I could have a couple of days off. I have to go to Jeonju. For…personal reasons.”

The Chief’s look is both incredulous and furious. “You literally just got back from suspension and you’re asking for time off? You’ve got to be kidding me.” He rubs his temples wearily. “Look kid, you are seriously pushing it. Do you want to be fired? Cause you’re definitely heading that way.”

Jongin panics. “N-no, no! It’s okay! I don’t really need the time off! Forget I asked!” And he flees, pulling the door closed behind him.

Okay, so asking the Chief for time off had clearly been a bad idea. He groans, rubbing at his eyes. He’ll just have to go to Jeonju on the weekend.

So on Friday, after he gets off from work, he packs an overnight bag and heads off for the city of Jeonju. It’s not a far trip, just over two hours, so it’s just past dusk when he pulls into the car park of a hotel near the church. It’s not super late, but it’s late enough that Jongin thinks it would be impolite to bother the priests. So, even though he’s burning with curiosity, he waits until the following morning to go to the church.

It’s just past dawn when he’s striding through the front door, past an enormous statue of Jesus with his arms wide open. It’s a Saturday and it’s quite early, so there are only a handful of elderly parishioners there, sitting scattered in the pews or kneeling in front of the altar.

Jongin spots a priest lighting a candle in one of the prayer recesses, so he makes his way there. “Excuse me, Father…?”

“Vincent,” the priest replies, ducking his head in a polite greeting. “I’m the diocesan bishop of the church. And you are?”

“Jongin,” Jongin introduces himself quickly. “Kim Jongin. I’m hoping you can help me, Father Vincent. I’m looking for a priest called Father Mathew. He’d be about seventy, I think.”

The priest looks thoughtful for a moment, then he shakes his head. “I’m afraid Father Mathew is very ill. He’s not accepting visitors at this time.”

He turns to go, but Jongin grabs his arm before he can get far. “Please,” he begs. “It’s very important. It’s a matter of life and death!”

The priest hesitates, but then he sighs. “Tell me what this is about and I’ll check with Father Mathew to see if he’s up to receiving visitors today.”

Jongin pauses. He thinks perhaps he ought to lie; if Father Mathew really is Kyungsoo’s father, he may refuse to speak with Jongin or worse. But in the end he’s not sure what lie would get him an audience, so he goes with some semblance of the truth. “I think Father Mathew knows the father of a friend of mine who has gone missing, and I really need to speak with him in order to find my friend.”

Father Vincent nods and disappears. Jongin sinks down onto one of the pews to anxiously wait. He taps his foot impatiently, the noise echoing around the cavernous cathedral, until an elderly woman praying nearby shoots him a glare. He quickly stills his foot.

Eventually, Father Vincent returns and beckons for Jongin to join him. “Please follow me,” he says.

Jongin’s palms are sweaty as he follows the priest away from the main cathedral, into the rectory. They pass several closed doors, the sounds of quiet chanting coming from within, until they reach a room at the far end of the corridor. Father Vincent halts in front of the closed wooden door and knocks politely. There’s a thick cough from inside, and then someone calls for them to enter.

When Jongin follows Father Vincent into the room, he discovers that it’s tiny, more like a closet than a room. It’s only big enough for a twin-sized bed, a little cabinet, and a three-legged stool. There’s an elderly man in the bed, blankets tucked up under his arms. He’s got gray hair and a long beard, and he’s wearing thick round glasses.

Father Vincent bows low and excuses himself, pulling the door closed behind him. Jongin is left alone with the man in the bed.

The man coughs again, a loud, long couch that seems to cause his entire body to tense up with pain. When he finishes coughing, he wipes at his eyes and fixes his gaze on Jongin. “So,” he says, his voice thick and gruff. “You’re Kyungsoo’s friend.”

Jongin feels his heart skip several beats. He’d never told Father Vincent Kyungsoo’s name.

“Y-you know Kyungsoo…” he murmurs.

Father Mathew nods. “Of course I do,” he says. “Isn’t that why you came here?”

Jongin pulls up the three-legged stool and settles himself beside the bed. “Please, sir, can you tell me everything?”

“If you’ve found me, it seems like you already know a lot,” Father Mathew says. “So why don’t you tell me what you know and I’ll help you fill in the blanks as best I can.”

Since Father Mathew is being so straightforward with him, Jongin decides to do the same. “I know that Kyungsoo’s mother, Rahee, was by a Catholic priest and became pregnant. I know that she was sent to a Catholic maternity home in the mountains of Jeju, and that she ran away after she gave birth and gave her son away for adoption.”

Father Mathew looks away, pained. “Then you know my biggest shame.”

Jongin is surprised that he’s not denying it. “S-so it’s true?”

“I’m afraid so,” Father Mathew murmurs. “It was my biggest moment of weakness, and I have spent every minute of every day since trying to atone for my unforgivable sin.” He sighs. “Park Rahee was an exceptional girl. She was kind, generous, intelligent, and beautiful. She was very active in the church, so I got to know her well over time. We became friends, despite our age difference. Contrary to what her parents believed, the attraction was mutual. She started spending more and more time at the church, spending time with me.” He smiles a bit. “She was a horrible flirt. Even now, I’m not sure why she flirted with an old man like me, but she was quite good at it.

“I’m not sure, even with the flirting, that she ever intended it to go farther,” he continues. “Maybe she was just practicing on me for a boy she really liked, but I lost my way and made a move on her.” He looks away, a pained expression on his face. “I knew better. It was obvious that she was scared, that she didn’t want to do it. Maybe she was too afraid to tell me no. But there’s no way around it. I forced myself on her. She was just a child. I take full responsibility for the evil of my actions.”

Jongin swallows thickly. His palms are sweaty, and he wipes them on the legs of his jeans.

“I didn’t even find out she was pregnant until after her parents had sent her to the maternity home,” Father Mathew admits. “When I found out, I tried to renounce my vow to the church and turn myself in to the police, but the bishop at that time wouldn’t let me. He called me to a lifetime of repentance and doing good for the church. I knew better, of course, but I was frightened and ashamed.” He looks down at his wrinkled hands, folded atop the blankets. “I never saw Rahee again. I heard later that she’d given the child away, and then that she’d died.”

“So you never met your son…” Jongin murmurs.

“That’s not true,” Father Mathew says, and Jongin is so surprised that he nearly falls off the small stool.

“Wait, you did meet him?” Jongin demands. “When?”

Father Mathew looks thoughtful. “Hm, when was it? Maybe ten or eleven years ago, I think.”

Now Jongin really does fall off his stool. “Ten years ago?” he exclaims. “But that’s after he disappeared! How did you meet him?”

“He sought me out,” Father Mathew says. “He told me he’d recently found out about his mother and…he wanted me to pay for what had happened to her.” The priest hangs his head shamefully. “I apologized, but there was nothing I could do undo the past. I told him what I knew about his mother’s family, and he left. That’s the last I ever saw of him.” He coughs loudly again, his whole body shaking.

“And what did you tell him about his mother’s family?” Jongin demands. “Please, I really need to find him.”

Father Mathew sighs heavily; it’s obvious he’s weary. “I told him that her family name was Park and that her family lived in Jeonju at the time Rahee got pregnant, but they moved away shortly after. I’m afraid I don’t know where.” He coughs once more, longer and more painfully than before. “I’m sorry I can’t be of more help. I think I need to rest now.”