Nightfall came and everyone in the house fell asleep already. While I, on the other hand, still keep on tossing back and forth on my bed. I don’t know what’s keeping me uncomfortable with this bed.

Or maybe something is just really bothering me right now. I mean… I can’t get those two strange guys out of my mind. They keep on running in my head. Aren’t they getting tired? Okay that’s lame. But seriously, why won’t they just leave my mind and let me sleep gently? I frigging want to sleep now but the picture of them won’t let me. Ersh!

Feeling being provoked, I threw my blanket away and stood up. I slipped on my slippers, headed to the kitchen and made myself a cup of hot chocolate.

I think I need time to think. This would make me sleepy. I’m sure of it.

As I opened and stepped out of the door, cold breeze greeted me. It made me shiver a bit but good thing I’m holding a cup of hot chocolate and I’m wearing a coat with knitted sweater inside and a scarf around my neck.

I walked towards the wooden chair that was placed in the garden and sat on it. The atmosphere that surrounds me is just really nice. Even though it’s really cold outside, it feels so serene and gentle. This is what I was wishing for, to live peacefully without any problem and whatnot that would bother my mind every day and night, every single hour of my life. Everything just seems okay. Unlike in Seoul, it’s the opposite.

Being a lonely wolf isn’t really bad to be true. They say it feels a lot better to be with someone especially, during Christmas season. You would feel really warm and loved. But sometimes, you have to live alone too. You have to learn how to be independent. It may be hard at the beginning but you would come to the point of being used to it as well. You just really have to endure at the start. It would be harder if you depend on someone that you never know will leave you too in the end. That’s a lot hurtful than you expected it to be. It would make your heart shatter in to thousand pieces and it would possibly take months, or years, before you could totally recover from an awful heartbreak.

It’s called just being strong.

And just like right now, I learned to depend on Baekhyun. Ever since we migrated in Seoul, ever since the day he approached me, he never left my side. Every day, he was with me. Every night, he would eat dinner in our house. It’s either he come to our house or I go to theirs. We were always together. We were inseparable. And with that, I started to develop feelings for him. Just simply as that.

You noticed the words in past tense? Right! It’s because it was just all in the past. No matter how simple things gone through us but all of those turned in to dreadful knots now. And I don’t know how I will be able to untie them. It’s just too complicated. Everything that we shared together just all remains in the past. It’s different now. Everything changed ever since she came in the picture. If only I know this would happen, I would never let them meet from the beginning.

Sounds selfish of me, aren’t I? It’s my fault too. I know.

Now, all I could do is to reminisce all of the precious memories that we’ve shared together.

And just on right cue, I heard a disturbing scraping sound behind the bush. It made me feel scared a little bit but I’m a strong woman of my generation. Ha!

Perfect distraction, right? Way to spoil my moment! But it’s a good thing. I don’t want to feel so downhearted any longer. Enough with my lonesome dramas