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MY FEELINGS

She’s cool, she’s cute, and she’s innocent.

She was the one I liked.

But then, when I kissed her, she cried.

She cried and showed me a scared face.

She looked down and sobbed and mumbled “sorry”.

I knew it.

She didn’t like me.

That day, I was a coward. I avoided her every time we saw each other. I acted like a coward. I didn’t act like a real man. I kept my feelings hidden and build a wall between me and her.

I was the one who didn’t understood her feelings.

And, I ran away from her.

I did everything to forget her.

But, she would always appear in my head no matter how hard I wanted to forget her.

I decided to keep my feelings deep inside my heart and started to do something different. I became an actor after a long training. I became famous.

One day, two days after I went back to Korea after a year training to act at the States, I went to a karaoke to relax and sing all I want. Of course I wore a disguise since everyone knew me and it will be a chaos if someone saw me going to a karaoke. So, I went quietly with my disguise on.

And that day, I met someone.

I bumped to a girl who seems so familiar to me. And when I saw that face for the second time, I realized it was her. And she seems so angry about something so she gave a cold glare.

Actually, the moment I saw her face my heart was thumping like crazy and it was like it could jump out any moment. But, I tried to be fine and I called her. But her respond was different, she only gave me a cold glare and she pretended not to know me. I know this was the right thing to do. But when I saw her left, my heart and my body didn’t do the same as what my mind think.

I kept searching for her, trying to reach her. But what she did was to slap my hand. And she got bullied by her friends. But, when I saw her, she didn’t even cry. She was a strong girl whom I liked before.

But, my heart kept saying that I liked her the same way right now.

Even though I tried to ignore it,

My heart speaks the different way.

I liked her,

Before and even now.

I liked her twice.

Twice. 

✿