Days, weeks, months passed. Class started but the routine still went on. You two lived on the same house but your closeness hasn’t improved a bit. You stayed inside your room most of the time. On the other hand, Taehyung would almost always be outside his room – waiting for the few minutes when you go out to go to the restroom or grab something from the kitchen. During weekends, he would ask you to come out to eat a meal he prepared by himself. A gesture you would always appreciate but often ignore.

“So what’s your plan?” Namjoon asked pitifully.

“I don’t know. I always feel like I’m trying to reach out to her, to get closer, to make her smile and help her remember but she just shuts me out.”

“Well you know what Taehyungie? If I were you, I wouldn’t be too depressed because of that girl. Come on! Where’s the weird joker we once knew? You spend most of your time around her but there are no results? What’s happening?” Namjoon meant for that to be a joke but it hurt like being stabbed on the chest for Taehyung. Damn! That was true.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t be doing these things anymore. "

Taehyung smiled as he allowed his thoughts to carry him deep in his memories.

She didn’t use to be like this. She was far from being like this.

It was back when we were in grade school. I don’t remember how many years have already passed since I first met her. It was raining outside. I was under the tree near our school waiting for my dad to come pick me up. I swear I was the saddest person that time. My parents just got divorced and it didn’t help that my classmates were making fun of me because of it. My grades were failing; my teachers are pressuring me as if they know a thing. My life is just simply crumbling down to ruins. Crying, I cursed everything and everyone. No one even asked the way I feel about everything! Adults! They just have their own way of ruining everything.

“Hi!”

There was a little girl. She was holding a small blue umbrella but pink coat still wet from the rain, pigtailed hair held up by little butterfly clips. Her bright eyes were staring at mine while her lips forming a warm smile. I said nothing and just stared back. No, she didn’t ask me what was wrong. She just sat beside me. I saw her grab something from her yellow bag. Suddenly, she started reading stories about mermaids and fishes, fighting and defeating pirates, singing and dancing and all those cute childish fairytales. I only realized that I was smiling and silently reading with her when I noticed her brown eyes staring at me. I expected her to leave or to just at least get mad but no, she didn’t.

“Do you want to do something fun?” she said - her smile as radiant and soothing as sunlight unexpectedly lifting me up, taking me to her world of dreams and fantasies.

As if on cue, Namjoon hit the back of his neck interrupting his thoughts and dragging him back to reality. “You’re floating again.”

Taehyung just laughed accepting the reality that he might not be able to see that smile again.

“See you tomorrow then. Be at the theatre by four in the afternoon.”

Oh right, we have a performance tomorrow. “Okay see you there.” He let out a deep sigh before letting out few more sentences before Namjoon left. “Bring the spare keys for my house that I gave you. I might need it."

“That’s more like it! Welcome back to living your life Taehyungie!”

That next afternoon, Taehyung made his way out of the apartment half determined not to go back there later at night. It was such a torture for him living with you but barely even seeing you for the rest of the day. The thought that he already made too much time and effort reaching out to you was the reason why he both didn't want and wanted to stay. Yes it sure is torture but he knows at the back of his mind that it was for you.

He reached the school theatre just on time. He was already in his performing clothes when he suddenly felt his phone vibrate. He looked at it and just like accidentally touching a hot frying pan; he felt his heart skip a beat. Why is she calling me? Why now? Is it possible that she found out I was leaving? Why would she care? He was just staring at his phone still in state of shock. He didn’t know what to do. You don’t normally call him.

“Better answer it.” Jimin (one of his best friends) said as he passed by and pressed the green button on Taehyung’s phone.

“This is it.” He said to himself and placed the phone near his ear.

“Hey where are you?! Are you in the apartment? I left my keys inside my room. I can’t come in.”

“I’m a little busy right now. Our performance is starting in a few minutes. I can’t meet you now.”

“Damn it! I’m already outside. What time are you coming home?”

“The program will end at around ten pm and I’m supposed to finish it. Don’t you have any place to stay while waiting?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course I’ve got nowhere to stay until 10 pm!”

“Okay, Okay. Fine! Wait for me beside the stage in our school theater. I’ll give it to you after I finish my first performance.”

And before you can answer him, Taehyung already hung up the phone. He must be pretty busy preparing things. Well, you didn’t mind waiting in the theater it’s much warmer there and a lot safer than outside your apartment.

Their performance was already starting by the time you arrived at the theater. You went at the front row and nearer the stage as he had told you a while ago. You looked up at the stage to search for his face. The lights, the background music, the song, and everything just looked so perfect by the time you placed your attention on the stage. You didn’t have to search for him. He was there he was shining. The lights suddenly dimmed, there was only one spotlight and of course, it was on him. He was looking at you while singing his lines and smiling. You noticed everything about him. His bright orange hair – when did he even learn to fix it like that?! – And how it got everyone’s attention from the very beginning. Oh Damn! You loved his smile, the way he bit his lower lip and show his perfect teeth while looking so handsome and cute at the same time. You even saw and for goodness sake almost lost your mind when he stood up the chair and fixed his eyes at you looking more serious than ever. You admired how his eyes twinkled as his lips moved and sang his lines. It was like magic or even sorcery. What was he doing? Why is he shaking your heart like this?

“If only we can be together

I hope I can be with you for just one day

Having a party with only you

I hope I can be with you for just one day

A party with only you

If only I could do that, how nice would it be

If only we could go anywhere to eat and watch a movie comfortably

I would do anything girl”

A few seconds later, the spotlight wasn’t focused on him anymore and neither were the other people’s attention. But you were still staring at him like he is the only one performing on stage. There was no bright light to show his face while the others got the spotlight but you just don’t know why you can’t keep your eyes off him. How he blinked and how he wiped the sweat off his forehead for a few seconds, how he and bit his lips as he tried to wet them, how he closed his eyes while he thought no one was looking – it was astonishing how you managed to notice every single bit of it.

DARN! What the hell is happening?