Hoon was getting ready for bed. It was much later than he’d have liked to be up, but he couldn’t really help the fact that he was unable to fall asleep. Jun had crashed as soon as they got back to the dorm, but Hoon just rested in his bed, head swimming with thoughts, every little worry he had regarding the upcoming months. He needed to clear his head, and though most of his worries hinged upon Serin, she was exactly who he needed to talk to.

She was in the US currently, so he knew she’d be awake. It was the middle of the day where she was. The only problem would be if she was in a meeting, but Hoon didn’t think she had planned to go to New York immediately. It was the weekend, and she had planned on going to visit her grandparents beforehand. He picked up his phone, giving up on trying to sleep for the moment, and composed a message to her. Before he could send it, he received one from her. “Happy Birthday, Hoonie!” it read. “Sorry I’m not there to celebrate with you.”

He deleted the short greeting he’d typed out before, instead replying with, “It’s okay. Even if you were home, I’m away too. Thanks for the wishes.”

“How goes the tour?”

“I’m exhausted. It’s been a lot of work. Fortunately we’re about halfway done.”

“Yeah. I think about how stressful it must be. How’s Jun doing?”

“He’s sleeping now,” Hoon replied. “We’re making sure he takes care of himself more. It’s hard on all of us, but especially him.”

“I bet,” Serin responded. “He doesn’t want to let you guys down. But he’s just not used to the stress.”

“Yeah,” Hoon agreed. “So what are you up to today?”

“Ah… I’m with Amanda at my aunt and uncle’s. We’re going to visit my grandparents this evening. We’re not really doing anything special though. Just hanging out. Chatting. She’s got a few weeks off before she starts school again in the fall. We’re going to ride up together on Sunday.”

“You should go say hi to Jaeseop while you’re there.”

“He doesn’t want to see me. Lol.”

“I bet he would be touched that you went to say hello,” Hoon insisted. “Actually, on second thought, don’t. I don’t want you hanging out with him without me there. I’ll get jealous.”

“Kekekeke. Yes, you will. I’ll ask him, but I’m going to be kind of busy all week.”

“That’s fine. Only do it if you want. It was just a suggestion. I haven’t heard from him in a while, and I’d be glad to know that he is doing well, so I’d be glad if you checked in with him.”

“I’ll try,” she agreed. “And why exactly are you up right now?” she messaged suddenly. “You should be sleeping. It’s nearly 3 am for you.”

“I couldn’t sleep. There’s too much on my mind.”

“What are you thinking about?”

He couldn’t exactly tell her that he was desperately trying to plan out how he was going to propose to her, that he needed to ask her father for permission to marry her, that he was worried about the fans and keeping things secret, and about Jun and the rest of the tour, and that AJ’s absence was troubling to him. “Just a lot of stuff,” he told her after a bit. “I don’t really want to message it all to you or trouble you with it while you’re busy.” He thought a bit more. There was one thing he was willing to tell her. He sent another message. “But I miss you. A lot.”

“Oh,” she answered. “You can tell me anything. Whenever you want. It’s no trouble.”

“It’s lonely without you. I love you so much, Serin.”

“I love you too, Hoonie. But our separation is necessary. You have your job. It’ll always keep some distance between us. Maybe not emotionally or psychologically, but physically we can’t always be together.”

“It’s too bad,” Hoon admitted. “I’ll probably say it a lot, but I wish we never had to be apart.”

“I know. I feel the same. I miss you all the time. Especially when you’re gone for long stretches of time. It just reminds me how much I want you next to me.”

He, more so than before, yearned to call her and hear her voice. But even talking to her like this was reassuring because it eased the edge off of all of his worries regarding her.  The other worries were still there, but he felt more at ease that Serin wanted to be with him forever, despite his crazy schedule and the secretive lifestyle being with him was going to force her to live. Of course, this wasn’t the first time he’d done this, needing to talk to her to reassure himself he was doing the right thing. Getting permission from the company had, comparatively, been the easy part. They’d deliberated over the matter, deciding that yes, he could marry Serin. But now he just… it was hard. It weighed heavy on his mind. He worried that she’d say no, especially after he’d made her very upset and jealous only a few months earlier, after having had one fiancée flake out on her. Talking to her was exactly what he needed to assuage his apprehension. It reminded him that she cared for him, supported him, and wanted to be with him despite everything.

“Now Hoonmin,” she messaged to him then. “You should go to bed. I’ll be very upset if staying up messaging me hurts your performance ability. And I certainly don’t want you hurting yourself because you’re too tired.”

He smiled. She was right. He needed to sleep. And he was starting to finally feel relaxed enough to be able to do so after talking with her some. “Okay~~!” he replied. “Talking to you helped me a lot. Love you. Have a nice day, Serin-ah!”

“Goodnight! I’m sending my love and support from halfway across the world! Love you!”

With a smile, he relaxed back on the pillow. Rolling over onto his side, he felt his exhaustion hit him all at once. His eyelids droop, and he lost consciousness nearly immediately, dreaming of future days he’d spend with the love of his life.