a/n: 1885 of word vomit, hinted!VHope.

I recommend listening to this song while reading this :) It's nice. Give it a try.

“Hey, wake up. Hoseok, wake up, hey”

Hoseok stirred in his sleep. The nudges wouldn’t stop. Neither did the voice.

“Hobi-ah, we’ll be late if you don’t wake up now”

Hoseok finally opened his eyes, blinking furiously trying to adjust his eyes to the brightness. “Ah, good morning, Seokjin hyung” he mumbled.

“Morning, Hobi. Now he hurry up and get ready or we’ll be late” Seokjin said before walking off to wake the others.

Hoseok did as told and then went to the kitchen. Namjoon, Jungkook and Yoongi were already there sitting at the dining table. Hoseok took a seat beside Yoongi, right across Jungkook.

“Here” Seokjin placed a plate in front of him. Pancakes with maple syrup and butter. His favourite.

“Thanks, hyung” Hoseok beamed. He took a big bite of it and smiled. Sweet, Hoseok thought to himself. Yoongi and Namjoon were chatting lightly about some songs they were producing for the group’s next album. Jungkook had already finished his breakfast and proceeded to join Jimin and Taehyung on the couch in the living room.

Something was bugging Hoseok’s mind. It made him uneasy yet he couldn’t quite figure out what was it about. The only thing he knew was that the thought was making him uneasy.

“Hoseok-ah, you’ve been playing with food. Why are you not eating it?” said Seokjin, breaking Hoseok’s train of thought and apparently got Yoongi and Namjoon’s attention too as the two rappers turned their heads to look at Hoseok.

“Huh?” Hoseok stuttered. He looked at the pancakes on his plate. There were some holes on it. He must’ve been poking the pancakes with the fork subconsciously. “Ah, nothing hyung” he smiled at Seokjin “I think I’m already full” he added. He stood up and threw the remaining of his breakfast into the trash. Yoongi and Namjoon dismissed it and continued their conversation where they left off. Seokjin wanted to question Hoseok but the latter already went to the living room.

***

“Okay, Jungkook, that’s it” Namjoon said through the mic.

Jungkook went out from the recording booth, looking quite satisfied with himself. “How was it, hyung? Did I do okay?” he asked Namjoon.

“You did well, Jungkook. Good job. You’ve worked hard” Namjoon answered, giving a few pats on the maknae’s shoulder. Jungkook smiled at that.

“Do you still need me here or…?” Jungkook trailed off.

“I think we’re good, right, Yoongi hyung?” Namjoon turned to look at Yoongi expectantly.

“Yeah” Yoongi said, not bothering to look at Jungkook or Namjoon. His eyes stayed glued to the computer screen. “You can go to the dance studio and join the rest” Yoongi added. His hand on the mouse clicked a few times.

“Okay,” Jungkook walked to the door “don’t stay up too long, hyung” he added right before he exited the recording studio. Leaving only Yoongi, Namjoon and Hoseok there. Hoseok, who had been sitting at the couch, moved to sit on the unoccupied wheelchair.

“Is it coming together?” Hoseok enquired. Yoongi chuckled breathlessly at that.

“Hoseok, you know damn well a song don’t come together in just a span of three minutes” Yoongi said. There was no venom in his words. Yoongi sighed and leant back into the wheelchair “especially this song”

Namjoon then clicked the mouse a few times before hitting the play button. The room was silent save from the sound of the music playing and their soft breath. They room remained silent even after the song had long ended.

“Something’s missing, isn’t it?” Hoseok broke the silence. He received no reply. Not that he needed it; the silence spoke louder than the any words he could receive. Namjoon sighed, he then played a section of the song; Hoseok’s part.

“Hoseok hyung, how about you try this verse again?” Namjoon said. Yoongi nodded at that.

“Alright” Hoseok muttered. He entered the recording booth and placed the headphone on his ears, giving a thumb up at the two rappers.

The song played and Hoseok listened to the beat. Taking a breath, he was about to rap but then he missed the beat. “Ah, sorry, sorry!” he quickly blurted out. A few moments later the song played again and Hoseok paid more attention to the beat. He started his rap but halfway through it the song suddenly stopped.

“Hoseok-ah, you’re off beat” Yoongi’s voice came through the speakers. There was some annoyance hinted in his voice.

“I’m sorry, let’s try again?” Hoseok said. He received no reply but the song played again. This time Hoseok managed to finish his rap but through the glass window, he could see Yoongi frowned and shook his head at the computer screen. Namjoon not looking any pleased as well. He was about to ask if he needed to try again but Yoongi beat him to it.

“That’s enough. We’ll continue this tomorrow. Let’s just head to the dance studio” Yoongi’s voice came through the speakers and from the sound of it, he was totally annoyed.

Hoseok huffed and exited the recording booth. Great, now they’re pissed off at me. Hoseok thought. Yoongi and Namjoon saved their works and they headed out to the dance studio with Hoseok following close behind.

***

“Five, six, seven, eight… one, two, three, four, five, si– Hoseok-ah, your right leg, right leg, not your left leg” their dance choreographer, Seongdeuk, pointed out.

Hoseok smiled sheepishly and muttered an apology; not wanting to upset their dance choreographer. They started the routine again and went through it over and over again; just like they had always been doing.

Almost two hours later, Seongdeuk called for a break.

“Namjoon-ah, you need to work on the choreo more. Especially for the hook part, your footwork is still messy” it was Seongdeuk again.

“Ah, alright hyung” said Namjoon and bowed to Seongdeuk. The said choreographer dismissed Namjoon before looking around the dance studio, searching for a certain person. Hoseok.

“Hoseok-ah, come here” Seongdeuk called. Hoseok almost choked on his water before making his way toward the choreographer. “Yes, hyung?”

“You were slacking off. A lot. What’s wrong with you today?” before Hoseok had a chance to say a word; Seongdeuk continued “I can’t have you mess with the choreo, Hoseok. It’s slowing down the group’s progress and you know we don’t have any extra time to spare”

Hoseok couldn’t do anything but hang his head low. Seongdeuk sighed.

“I know this choreo is a little bit tricky but it’s nothing you can’t handle, Hoseok-ah” Seongdeuk placed his hand on Hoseok’s shoulder. “I expect more from you after this break, okay?” Seongdeuk added. Suddenly, the weight Hoseok felt on his shoulder was more than just a hand resting there. He forced a smile before looking up at the said choreographer.

“Yes, hyung. Of course. I’ll do better after this” and Seongdeuk walked off; satisfied with the answer he heard.

“Hobi hyung! Come here. Eat with us. Jiminie brought sandwiches!” Taehyung called. The rest of the members were sitting in a circle on the floor. Hoseok walked to them and joined them on the floor.

“These sandwiches are the best! I can promise you that. As good as anything Jin hyung could make” Jimin announced proudly; smiling wide causing his eyes to almost disappear. Everyone had themselves a sandwich but while everyone else was munching on it, Hoseok simply had it in his hand. He was staring blankly at the sandwich.

“Are you gonna eat that or just stare at it?” Seokjin quipped.

“Huh?” Hoseok blinked at Seokjin.

“What’s wrong, hyung? It is too spicy?” Jimin asked; worried that Hoseok didn’t like the sandwiches.

“No, it’s fi–” Hoseok didn’t get to finished his words as Jimin threw him another question.

“Oh my god, hyung, are you allergic to mayonnaise?” Jimin asked hysterically.

“What? No, Jimin. I’m not allergic to mayonnaise” Hoseok frowned. It was starting to give him headache.

“Then, what’s wrong?” This time it was Seokjin. When Seokjin received no answer; he continued “Hoseok-ie, is something bothering you? You’ve been out of it since the morning”

Hoseok could feel the gentleness in the voice. Caring and loving. Yet, he couldn’t come out with an answer. So, he hung his head low, lips trembling and body shaking slightly. He tried to hold it back. Don’t break down now, Hoseok. You can’t. Just… hold on a little bit longer. Just a little bit more.

“Hey, Hoseok, what’s wrong?” It was Yoongi.

“Hobi hyung…” That was Taehyung. He sounded sad so Hoseok looked up to meet his eyes. He forced a smile.

“Hey, don’t worry everything is fine. Really” Hoseok said; unsure whether he was trying to convince s or himself. The looks he saw on s’ faces were confusing him. Why do they look so surprised?

“Hyung,” Jungkook started “wh– why are you crying?”

Crying?

Hoseok touched his cheek with his fingers. There were slightly wet.

He was crying.

“Ah, what the hell” Hoseok quickly wiped his tears with the sleeve of his shirt and laughed. This is funny. I cried and I didn’t even realize it. He laughed again.

“Hobi hyung” Taehyung stood up and went to hug Hoseok from the back. “Hobi hyung, why are you sad, hyung?”

“It’s nothing, taehy– ”

“Tell us, hyung” Namjoon cut him off. “Don’t suffer alone, hyung. We’re here with you”

“I just,” Hoseok didn’t know what to say “It was– I mean, things–” Hoseok took a breath. Words were just not coming out. He let out a long sigh. “Things have been hard on me lately” he spoke quietly but audible enough for everyone to hear. He felt how Taehyung’s hug became slightly tighter for a moment.

“Yah, are we giving you a hard time?” Yoongi enquired.

Hoseok laughed lightly before answering. “Ah, no, hyung. No, don’t worry” He smiled at Yoongi. This time it was genuine.

“Hoseok-ah, if you’re having a hard time, come to us. Talk to us. Don’t suffer alone. It was painful to see you broke down like that. You scared us. You scared me” Seokjin said. He smiled gently at Hoseok. Hoseok felt his inside getting slightly warm at Seokjin’s words. He nodded at Seokjin.

“Yeah, hyung. You should’ve come to me when you were sad. I would shower you with affections and make you happy!” Taehyung beamed and moved to hug Hoseok from the side and squished his cheek with Hoseok’s making the elder laughed. “Hyung, if you ever feel sad again – come to me, okay? Promise?”

“Okay, Taehyung, okay. I promise” Hoseok patted the younger’s head. The younger then released Hoseok and sat beside him.

“How about you eat now, hyung? You haven’t even take a bite of your sandwich yet” Namjoon suggested.

“Yeah, hyung. You should at least take a bite. I would be sad if you don’t” Jimin pouted at Hoseok.

“Okay, okay. Gosh, you guys are babying me. Stop it already” Hoseok then proceeded to take a bite of his sandwich. “Delicious. Wow it’s nice, Jiminie” Hoseok complimented. Jimin grinned widely. It’s really nice.

It was nothing much. It was simple. Just them sitting on the floor, eating sandwiches and drinking colas at 1:16 in the morning. Not much of a healthy diet but that was okay.

They were happy.

Hoseok was happy.

That was what matter the most to Hoseok.

a/n: Hate me all you want. It's okay, I know I deserve it.