“Urghh,” Jessica groaned loudly. She felt like her head was going to explode. This was there worst hangover she ever felt. ‘How much did I drink last night?’ she thought while her hand slowly rubbed her temple. She slowly opened her eyes, avoiding the light rushing though her eyelids. Her mind registered the dim lighted room which she didn’t recognize.

 

“where am I?” she asked herself. “I must be too drunk last night for not remembering what happened.” she stretched out and somehow she felt ! She never slept . Not once as long as she can remember. She peeked through the blanket and saw her body underneath the cozy blanket.

 

She took a deep breath and tried to summon any positive thought inside her head. She shifted and she felt it! The soreness that she never ever felt before. No other than at her most private place for goodness sake. ‘what the hell did she do last night?’ she asked herself.

 

Her eyes scanned the room and to her surprise, she saw her clothes were splayed across the room. Her dress, underwear and some clothes that she positive were not hers. She gulped down her own saliva and the idea of what’s happening formed inside her head. Clothes, ness, soreness, this led to no other than… she wanted to cry and prayed hard that this was just one of her nightmares. The worst one that is.

 

She nearly jumped out of her life when she felt a small movement behind her. She afraid to turn around and face the reality. ‘wait, this might be a dream. I know it. Jessica, remain calm and close your eyes. You’ll return to the reality in no time. This is just a dream, a stupid dream to be precise,’ she closed her eyes and pinched her own cheek. It’s hurt and that’s mean this was real.

 

She tried to remember what happened, what led to this. However, with throbbing headache, she can’t clearly think. She tried to remember again but nothing help. She only remembered going to her regular pub, sitting there and the guys. ‘oh no, not one of those guys. OMG, this is soooo not happening to me,’ she panicked.

 

Then she remembered being there with someone. She can’t remember his face. She remembered what’s happened in the room. Singing, dancing, more drinking, falling and end up on his lap, the kiss… but she can’t remember his face. Everything was so freaking blurry. And, what she’s been thinking, allowing this to happen? She fought so hard for this and yet, she herself ruined it. She wanted to save this for later. For her wedding night. Yeah, she’s that conservative type of girl. Laugh as much as you want but she’s proud with that. But now, she has lost her ity and the most important thing was, she can’t remember a tiny bit of it.

 

She felt his movement behind her. Her breath shortened when she felt his hand landed on her stomach. She can’t take this anymore. She quickly rose from her position and faced him. She grabbed the blanket to cover her ness. She looked at him and she can’t tell who’s the guy. His face was blocked with a pillow and the blanket covered half of his body.

 

She shook him. She needed to wake him up. They needed to talk and she has to accept the reality. She can’t cry right now.

 

“ya,” she said while shaking him. He moved while slowly removing the pillow out of his face. Jessica gasped and her eyes widened once she learnt the fact who’s the guy was. It was Nichkhun! ‘what did she do? Oh my, Fany,’ Jessica cried. She can’t believe that she betrayed her own friend.

 

“Nichkhun-shi. Nichkhun-shi chaebal. Wake up you dumb head,” she said while shaking him faster. Nichkhun slowly opened his eyes and his eyes focused on her. “urghh,” he groaned. He grabbed his head. He looked around with a confused looked pestered on his face.

 

“Jessica-shi? What are you doing…” he didn’t finish his question. His eyes moved around the room and saw what Jessica saw earlier. His eyes stopped at crying girl with a blanket around her body. “oh no. we didn’t do the thing that I think we did right?” he asked in disbelief tone. He shook his head.

 

“no no, this is not happening. It was just a dream. wake up nichkhun, wake up,” he said. Jessica looked at him and wiped her own tears. “I wish for it but… but it was not a dream. oh my God, what did we do?” she asked both of them. Nichkhun slipped out from the bed and get into his clothes. He grabbed a bathrobe and handed it to Jessica.

 

“stop crying for a moment can’t you? wear this and we will talk what should we do,” he said to Jessica when she continued to cry her eyes out. He left Jessica and rummage through the fridge. He found two mineral water and passed one of them to Jessica. “drink this,” he instructed. He sat on the bed while Jessica on the couch beside the bed. She was still crying. Despite of her promise to deal with this like a mature woman, she can’t help but cried.

 

“how could you do this to me,” Jessica started the conversation.

 

“well, this is not entirely my fault. You fell on me and…”

 

“you kissed me first,”

 

“but you can stop me. But as much as I can remember, you seemed to enjoy it,” he retorted.

 

Jessica shook her head. She blocked her ears with her hands. “if you didn’t come and act like a hero in the first place, things will not progress into this,” Jessica replied.

 

“you shouldn’t drag me along and put me into that room! You should leave me alone!” she continued.

 

“I should know that you’ll never appreciate my good intention Jessica-shi. I saved you from those guys which I know if I left you on your own, you’ll be at this exact condition as you’re now. The difference is, you might be with those guys!” Nichkhun tried to constraint his anger.

 

“what’s make it different than? I still lose my ity for God sakes…” Jessica cried before continued. “the one thing that I fight so hard and I lose it. And I don’t even remember tiny bits of it. Not like I wish that I can remember what I have done but… aish!!” she wiped the tears away.

 

Nichkhun looked at her still form. He felt sorry for what he had done and hell, if he had a chance, he will go back and warn his fool self for this. Honestly he would kill for that chance. “Jessica-shi…” he called her. He didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry…” he apologized.

 

“how can you easily apologize? You just… you just… oh my God. You’re Tiffany’s boyfriend on top of that. What am I gonna do if she find out? She’ll hate me and she’ll never forgive me. And the whole members will blame me and…”

 

“can you stop talking for a while?” he scolded her.

 

“I can’t!!” she replied with the same tone. “I can’t bloody stop this because I’m going to ruin our group relationship because of this stupid thing that I’ve done! I hate you and I hate myself for this,” she continued. Nichkhun took a seat beside her on the bed and as expected, she shrieked at his action. Nichkhun ignored her and continued.

 

“Jessica, I’m sorry for what happened. If I had a chance which is I’m not going to have, I’ll go back and warn us about this. But what can we do? Things have happened right?” he asked her. Jessica looked at him with a slightly calm expression. “listen to me OK. I feel wrong too, not only to you, but to Tiffany. You love Tiffany right?” he asked her. She nodded. “both of us love Tiffany so much and we know that we’re going to hurt her if she find out about this.”

 

“she won’t find out if any of us won’t tell her what happen,” he continued.

 

“we won’t tell her. What happened here, it’s end here,” she looked at Nichkhun and he nodded expectantly. Jessica knew that this was wrong. She didn’t want to hurt Tiffany for her action. As for her problem, she’ll deal with it. She’s a mature woman and she’ll act like one.

 

“Ok, do you have any schedule today? We can’t be seen together. So here’s the plan…” Nichkhun suggested for them to go separate way. Since he didn’t have any schedule for the entire morning, he suggested Jessica to leave the hotel first. He will leave a few hours after that. Jessica agreed and quickly getting ready. 10 minutes after, she was ready.

 

“Jessica-shi, I’m sorry. I’m not meant for this to happen. I know you wanted to save your ity to the rightful one and I’m sorry that I’ve taken it from you. I don’t know how to tell you how sorry I am but I hope you believe me,” Nichkhun said to Jessica. She looked at him and shook her head.

 

“it’s not entirely your fault.” She replied. Nichkhun approached her and give her and awkward hug. “thank you,” he whispered. She nodded before disappearing behind the door.

 

---

 

Jessica entered their apartment and slowly walked to her room. After so many successful achievements achieved, their company gave them two apartments and every members owned their own bedroom. Jessica shared the apartment with Yuri, Yoona and Hyeoyeon. Meanwhile, the other five share the second apartment which located next door. Besides, their apartments were interconnected by a door. So, basically, they were still sharing the same living compartment.

 

As she walked to her room, she noticed everyone was still in their own bedrooms. They didn’t have any group schedule at that particular day. Jessica quickly made her way to her room. She rested herself on her queen size bed once she settled in.

 

‘Jessica, you have to remain calm if you don’t want to ruin this. Remember, sometimes lies can be better than the truth. You are not telling the truth because you wanted to protect her from hurting. Things are going to be okay,’ she kept telling herself.

 

Just before she drifted into her sleep, she heard someone was knocking her door. “sica, are you inside?” asked a voice which she knew was Yuri’s.

 

“emm. just come in,” she said. Yuri emerged and gave her one of her brightest smile.

 

“do you just come back?” Jessica cleared her already dry throat. She nodded.

 

“are you okay sica? You look sick. Where did you sleep last night? Did you went home?” Yuri was referring her parents’ house. Jessica nodded again.

 

“but you said they were not home,” Yuri asked suspiciously.

 

“emm, but Krystal was there,” she replied. Well, it’s true that Krystal stayed at her parents’ home last night. She was not totally lying there. “don’t worry yuri, I’m okay. I’m just tired. I stayed out late last night,” she said.

 

“where did you go last night? I wanted to accompany you but as usual, you refused,” Yuri took a seat beside her. Yuri wanted to accompany her last night but she wanted to be alone. Yuri knew what happened between her and her ex. She refused Yuri’s offer since she really wanted to be alone last night. Now, she regretted refusing her offer since if she didn’t, the thing will be all different right now.

 

“I’m ok. I went to Han River last night. Just want to clear my head off. Then, I went home,” Jessica smiled assuring her bestfriend that she’s okay. “don’t worry okay. I’m over him. What I need now is some time and space. And I’m very much needed some sleep. I can’t sleep last night despite of being at my own house.”

 

Yuri nodded her head before standing beside her bed. “do you have any schedule today? We don’t have any group schedule today. I can wake you up if you want me to,” Yuri said.

 

“I have one this evening. Wake me up at 2 pm. I need to get ready. Thanks Yul-ah,” she said while resting her head on the pillow.

 

“no worries Sica. Just have a good sleep okay. I’ll wake you up when it’s time,” Yuri said before closing the door.

 

---

(1 month after)

 

 It has been a month after that night. Jessica still couldn’t look at Tiffany without feeling guilty. Tiffany asked her what’s wrong when she seemed spacing out a lot lately. Seeing Tiffany with her concern face made her wanted to cry. She wanted to go and ask for her forgiveness for what she had done. She hated this but of course she had to keep pretending like nothing happened.

 

“Jung Jessica, what’s wrong with you? do you have any problem that you want to share? You keep spacing out quite a lot lately. If you want to share, I’m here for you? And your complexion doesn’t look good. Are you sick?” Tiffany asked. She always acted like a big sister to them. And that made Jessica feel much worse than before.

 

“nah. Nothing. I just feel tired lately. With all those recordings, I can’t have enough sleep on my own,” told Jessica. They were currently working on their new single and album, Mr. Mr.. The expectation from people around them made them to work harder.

 

“you better get enough sleep sica. New single is coming out soon. Actually sooner than we are expected. So, take a good rest before we jump into the hectic schedule again,” Tiffany nagged. Jessica nodded her head and silently thanking for her honest advice. Honestly, Jessica can’t help but wondering whether can she be this kind if she found out what happened between her and Nichkhun.

 

---

(2 weeks after)

 

They stood close to one another with arms linked to one another. “are you guys ready?” asked Hyeyeon.

 

“oh yeah,” replied Soo Young and Yoona.

 

“this is our very first comeback stage. Are you guys ready?” asked Tiffany. “buckle up guys. We have many wonderful not to forget crazy weeks ahead,” Tiffany wrapped up. Everybody nodded their head in agreement.

 

“are sure you’re okay sica?” Yuri asked once they dispersed. They are waiting for their turn to perform.

 

“I’m fine Yuri. Don’t worry too much,” she replied.

 

“what if something happen while on stage?”

 

“it will not. I just feel dizzy this morning and now it’s already 4 pm. I’m alright now,” she whispered to over-concerned Yuri. Her face didn’t look like she believed in Jessica words.

 

“okay. Are you nervous?” Yuri changed the topic.

 

“of course I am. You know how I feel when performing. Well, all of us experience this kind of adrenaline rush. So, this kind of feeling is kind of normal to us now right,” Yuri nodded.

 

“unnie, I am so excited that we get our own dance partner. Oh my, this is really something,” Yoona joined their conversation.

 

“ya ya, think of your prince charming, will you?” Yuri replied. Yoona smiled innocently, ignoring Yuri comment on her love life. Thinking of her so called prince charming aka lee seung gi made her easily blush.

 

“euww, look at her Sica,” Yuri commented when she saw Yoona blushing.

 

“just leave her alone Yul-ah. Our baby is growing up. Having boyfriend and stuff,” Jessica interrupted.

 

“stop teasing me, can you?” Yonna said.

 

“you’re our baby Yoona, of course we will continue teasing you,” yuri said at Yoona who’s currently pouting.

 

“guys, get ready. We’ll be on stage in 30 seconds,” they heard Tiffany voice calling for them.

 

“SNSD!!” they heard PD was calling for them. They hurriedly walked toward the stage and quickly put on their professional expression on their face, matching up with the theme of the song.

 

---

 

Nareul bitnaejul choegoui namja

Geuge baro neo Mr. Mr.

 

 

The song came to the end. Jessica tried to ignore the dizziness that was suddenly attacking her. She remembered this feeling. She had anemia which under good control. She remembered feeling like this during their earliest day of debuting. She staggered as they walked down the stage. She quickly grabbed Yuri’s hand to support her. Yuri looked at her with concern.

 

“Sica, are you okay?” she heard Yuri’s asking. Bad enough, she can’t hear it clearly. At the end of the stairs, she collapsed. “sica, sica” she heard before blackness took over her completely.

 

---

so, after reading wonderful comment from you guys, i know that i'm not alone. thus, i decided to continue this. well, honestly, i want to continue this even if there's no more khunsica shippers. hehe.

actually, i want to reveal the important plot of this story. i warn you guys, this is another pregnancy story. why? well, simply because i love pregnancy story. i somehow believe a child has powers to bring to people together. i know that my precious ECHO was also pregnancy story but i'm promise you that this one will be different. 

stay tune and keep reading. feel free to comment. you know right, your comments never fail to brighten up my days.

arinalee