Jessica closed the door and walked her way to the living room. Her eyes never left Nichkhun’s back. She did not understand why reacted that way toward her. Okay, she might be rude sometimes but she knew that did nothing that can contribute to his current behavior. She saw him placed her shopping bags on the red couch before disappearing into his room opposite of the living room.

“is it his time of the month?” she murmured to herself. She shrugged off her own comment and silently moved toward the couch. Her hand quickly picked the bags and moved them into her own room. She tried to think about something else but it happen that Nichkhun’s face and expression never left her mind. They always fought almost about anything and she never care single bit of it. But today, it felt so different. She blamed all the sweets and foods that she ate all this afternoon.

She threw the bags onto the bed as if it was Nichkhun she was throwing at. “why do I care so much? I didn’t do anything that hurt him and that’s it,” she said. She sat in front of her dresser and she studied her own reflection on the mirror. She nearly wished that she got a magic talking mirror who can tell her what was exactly wrong with him today. “aish chincha,” she said angrily as she saw her own tears rolling down her cheeks. She was quite sensitive these days. Surely her morning sickness has left her but these emotional waves never left her subsided.

Honestly speaking, she felt quite happy today. Yeah, it was quite shocking that they can spare their time together without bickering and they went through the day smoothly, not until when they entered that candy land. Jessica knew, something happened there but she cannot put a finger to it. “did he get mad at me because I spend too much of his money?” she said to herself. Well, she actually wanted to pay by herself. Maybe she was not working now but of course she has her own money. She did not need any sympathy from anyone and she was capable of paying herself. But it was him who insisted to pay for everything.

Jessica stood up and walked back and forth. She was tired and very much need of sleep. But she knew, even if she tried, she cannot fall asleep in this state.

It has been a few months since they got married and Jessica could say that she cannot read what was inside Nichkhun’s mind. Sometimes, he did something that he never meant for. And it made her confused during the process. Looked at how he treated her during their stay at his parents’ house. He was very kind, cheeky, and acted like a very good husband even if they were alone. Every time her mind landed at the memories, she never failed to feel confused at Nichkhun’s treatment towards her. Of course he went back to his old self once they came back to Korea. What she didn’t understand was the way he treated her. She can understand if he acted that way for the sake of his innocence family. What made her confused was he also acted overly lovey-dovey whenever they were alone as well, when there were no audiences to watch their act.

And she still remembered the time when she felt their baby kicked for the first time. She admitted that she felt terrified at the first time. But soon enough it turned to excitement, to have some proof that someone was growing inside her. A strong one at that.

’auch,’ Jessica said when she felt the strong kick inside her. She placed her hand on her stomach. The baby kicked again when it felt Jessica’s reaction and she let out the second ouch. Nichkhun looked at her. “what’s wrong?” he asked. And he looked genuinely worried.

“the baby kicked,” Jessica replied before continued. Her hand was on her stomach, tried to sooth the little one inside. “Ouch, he kicks again,” Jessica said. Nichkhun stood in front of her in a second and without Jessica’s permission, he placed his hand on her stomach, exactly where Jessica was placing her hand.

His face broke into a wide smile when he felt the soft kick under his palm. “he’s strong,” he proudly said while his hand still resting on the stomach. He sat beside her while his hand never left her stomach. Jessica could feel the baby acted more active when Nichkhun was closer. It’s like the baby was responding to him. “this is the first time it kicks right?” he asked after a long silence.

Jessica looked at him before replied. “yes,” she shortly replied. The baby went silent after ‘showing’ his active side.

Jessica cleared to chase away the awkwardness between them. Well, that was pretty awkward in this position. Nichkhun seemed not to remove his hand from her stomach anytime soon. Jessica wanted to remove that hand pretty bad. “if you can remove your hand…” her word left unfinished. Nichkhun looked at her before awkwardly removed his hand from her bulging stomach.

“sorry…” her said before left.

Most of the time these days, they spent their time avoiding one another. Nichkhun was busy with his own schedule and Jessica was also busy between her birthing classes, her hospital visit and her trip to her parents’ house. And almost all of those activities, she did them alone. Even when she went to her parents’ house, Nichkhun rarely joined her. She didn’t mind but sometime, she saw the questioning looks on her parents’ face. Of course they knew their history, but Jessica knew her parents hoped that her marriage will turn up good.

And much to Jessica’s annoyance, she started to feel the weird feeling inside her whenever Nichkhun was showing his concern. Of course she knew that his concern was not for her. It was solely for their baby that she was carrying. That’s why she wanted to be nowhere near him all these time. To avoid that weird feeling that she cannot explain what it was. However, today was exceptional. She crossed her line asking him to go with her to the crowded market and she felt utterly happy with her decisions. She knew she was weird and she hated that so much when she became out of character. She used to be confident and full of herself. Since when did she downgrade to this kind of girl?

Jessica sighed before decided to ignore the matter. She needed to think again and she very much needed to get back to her composed self. She cannot continue to be this kind of pathetic girl forever. She was a strong girl and she knew that she can do this, even if she was alone. She can do this before and she confident that she can do this now.

*****************************************

She tried to lull herself to sleep but after 2 hours later, her eyes still did not want to sleep. Much to her annoyance, really. And, to add up with that her baby seemed to be so much active tonight. As if he can sense his mother uneasiness tonight, the baby moved quite a lot tonight. Jessica rose from her sleeping position and rested her back to the headstand. She rested her hand on her bulging stomach and tried to sooth her restless baby. “aegy-ah? What’s wrong with you tonight? Why are you so restless?”

She decided to stood up and walk back and forth. She took a deep breath, trying to steady her heartbeat and her baby’s movement. “are you upset baby?” she talked to her baby. She made a slow movement onto her stomach. The baby kicked and moved. She was tired from today’s activity and her baby did nothing to help her with that. “are you angry that your daddy upset? Is that why you decided to be naughty baby as well?” she asked. Again, the baby moved, as if agreeing with her assumption.

Jessica sighed before continued talking. “it’s not like it was my fault. So, please show some mercy to me and get some sleep in there.”

Jessica remembered that her baby never behaved like this before. Of course she will wake up once in a while throughout the night because of her baby but at least she still can sleep. After the baby knew how to move, she practically needed to wake up and changed her sleeping position to sooth her baby. It seemed like the baby did not like to sleep in the same position throughout the night. And sometimes she needed to wake up to go to the toilet because she needed to pee. The baby was pushing her bladder and sometime she wanted to curse her innocence baby for stealing her beauty sleep.

Jessica felt her baby kicked again and she decided to go to the kitchen. Maybe after drinking some milk, the baby will relax and decided to sleep. She opened the door and walked her way to the kitchen. As soon as she stepped into the kitchen, her eyes met Nichkhun’s figure, his back facing the direction where Jessica was standing, sitting silently inside the dark kitchen. Jessica switched on the light and she could see that Nichkhun was shocked with her action. She could see that he spent his night drinking. Empty cans of beers were lying in front of him and she knew directly that he was thinking over something.

Honestly, she still felt slight of angry inside her from his behavior today and because of that she decided not to ask his problem. “why are you not sleeping?” he asked in sober tone. Jessica looked at the number of cans in front of him and wonder how he can still sober in that amount of beer? And Jessica cannot help but think how much of drink that they had to make him that drunkard during the first time they were together?

“the baby,” she decided to reply. Initially, she decided to ignore him but looking at his face, she cannot help but answer.

“what’s wrong with the baby? Are you hurt?” he asked in genuine concern.

“aniya. He seems restless tonight,” she confessed.

“you have to blame all of those food that you indulge today. Of course the baby gets those extra energy from everything you ate today,” Nichkhun blamed her. She wanted to deny and she found it was useless.

“whatever,” she brushed off his comment before disappearing herself to the living room. She quickly grabbed the remote control and a few seconds later, the television came to live. There was not much to watch but it was good enough to fill in the silence. Nichkhun followed her to the living room and took his seat beside her. He closed his eyes and rested his head to the back of the coach. Jessica tried to ignore his presence and focused all of her attention to the screen in front of her.

“did he always do this?” he suddenly asked. Jessica turned her head to her left and found him watching her. “huh?” that’s the only words that came out from .

“the baby. Did he always wake you up like this?” he asked again.

“he did but never like this. At least I can get some sleep,” she replied. She watched Nichkhun placed his hand on her stomach and she tried to calm herself down. What was wrong with her? This fast heartbeat was not much needed here. She knew that his intention was to make the baby cool down.

“hello there Nichkhun’s Junior. You know buddy, you’re not doing a good job inside there. Why did you do that to your mummy? Please give her a good time and help her with that,” he said to her stomach. “she’s doing a good job carrying you and at least you should thank her for doing such a good deed,” he continued.

“are you upset over something? Are you upset that I didn’t spend much time talking to you? mianhe. I was so busy and I got pre-occupied with what I was doing. I promised I will spend more time with you and mummy. Now, go back to sleep,” he said before planted a kiss on her stomach.

He slowly caressed her stomach and surprisingly, the baby quieted soon after that. Jessica held her breath the entire time. “all done,” Nichkhun said. He smiled before leaning back to the coach. Jessica took a deep breath and looked at him. His eyes were closed but the smile never left his handsome face. Jessica decided that he was not quite sober and she blamed the alcohol inside him for all those action.

“what happened actually? At that candy store, why did you change so suddenly?” she tried to ask. She bit her lower lips and waited for his answer. Maybe, just maybe she can get an honest from a drunken Nichkhun. She counted the seconds and waited for his answer. Jessica heard him mumbled but she could not get what he was saying. She heard him moved and she was shocked when she felt Nichkhun’s head rested on her shoulder. Her already calm heart started to go crazy again. Nichkhun moved closer to her and rested his nose at the crook of her neck. She could feel her body stiffen at the contact and she could not move. She afraid what will happen if she move. 

She knew that she cannot stay like this for the rest of the night. Jessica turned her head toward the television and tried to regain her focus. She heard him breathing slowly and she thought he was already asleep. She grabbed the remote control and switched off the television. Her hand slowly pushed Nichkhun’s body to the back of the couch and suddenly she lost the warm radiated from his body. She ignored her feeling and her suddenly needs to stay close to him. She slowly stood up and made sure that he did not awake because of her movement.

“can you stay?” she heard him and she stopped her movement at that. She could feel his grasp on her wrist.

“I…”

“please…” he pleaded. Jessica looked at him and found him looking at her. Jessica sighed before took her previous seat beside him.

“thank you,” he said. His hand slowly engulfed Jessica’s shoulder and leaned her head to his broad chest. Jessica sighed as she could feel the warm heat radiating from his body and out of sudden, her eyes felt sleepy. She knew she was a goner and she did not care at all.

“I promise tomorrow I’ll go with you to the birthing class. You must be lonely doing it alone while others bring their husbands with them right?” he mumbled. Jessica smiled while her eyes already closed. She did not want to put any hope into what he just saying. She knew the probability of him forgetting everything that he just said was high. However, deep, deep inside her heart, she wanted to believe it. And she hated herself for hoping that to happen. 

hi there. it happens that i got a lot of ideas for UM. so this chapter happens. enjoy guys and just consider this as my apology for my lateness of updating for the past few months. peace ^^.^^

love, arinaLee