The following morning I thankfully woke up to my alarm and arrived at university with half an hour to spare. Deciding not to be early to the class for a change, and to see what Hyun Joong would do if I wasn’t there before him, I went off to buy a hot chocolate from the café, and bumped into an old class mate. By the time we’d finished catching up; I had little time to spare and headed to my lecture, thankful it was nearby. Opening the large door, I glanced around the room, noticing Hyun Joong’s agitated posture in his chair as he checked his watch. He then looked in my direction as the door closed behind me, and seemed to relax, convincing me that his sitting near me was for a reason. Looking around again for Maddie and not spotting her, I climbed the staircase towards the row he was in, moving along towards him. I hesitated two seats over, before taking a deep breath and sitting right beside him instead.

“Morning,” he greeted and I merely nodded, trying not to knock my hot chocolate anywhere as I placed it down. Pulling out my materials, I wrote the date slowly, conscious that my heart was thumping so loud that the whole room, had it been quiet, would have not had to strain to hear it. Hyun Joong cleared his throat. “Did you have a good Japanese class?”

“It’s after this one,” I mentioned quietly, glancing out of the corner of my eye at him. He cleared his throat again and nodded.

“How are you finding Moll Flanders?”

“Horrible, I can’t seem to enjoy it.”

He seemed to relax at my reply this time. “Neither, I thought it was my lack of understanding of the culture that was making it harder for me to read.”

“No, it’s just an overtly dramatic and pointless fiction,” I answered, feeling my opinionated attitude a little surprising. I wasn’t quite sure why I was acting so stiff, leaving it down to how humiliating yesterday had felt.

“I’m glad then.” He went silent for a moment, busying himself by flipping through his notebook. I couldn’t help but look over, his handwriting was really neat. “I’m liking this class and how its run though, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, the lecturer is pretty decent.”

“Are you okay today?” he finally asked and I looked at him, stumped as to what I should say. I didn’t exactly want to blurt out that for the past two years I had been crushing on him badly, and he was the reason I had gotten interested in Korean culture and media. I also didn’t want him to know that it was taking all my energy to act like a decent person sitting next to him again, considering he had recently showered and his citrus aftershave was completely intoxicating me.

Instead I smiled weakly. “Mm.”

“Oh, okay then,” he said, creasing his forehead up briefly and then turning to the front of the class as the lecturer arrived.

“This class is going to be heavily loaded on several themes today everyone,” Professor Lupin announced and I shared a brief look with Hyun Joong as I picked up my pen. Arranging myself in a more comfortable position I got ready to take notes, listening to the lecturer’s voice. As the class progressed, my attention span failed. At one point, I hadn’t realised I was closer to the boy beside me, and his arm brushed against mine, causing me to hold my breath for a moment. It was ridiculous how I was reacting, but I soon tuned out the voice of the lecturer and focused on everything else I was hyperaware of. I could hear the rhythmic pattern of Hyun Joong’s breathing, and the scratching of his ballpoint pen as it slid over the paper he was scribbling notes onto. His smell had me almost dizzy and I tried to snap out of it, shaking my head to come back to my senses.

By this stage, I’d only just realised that I had been writing the entire time. I blinked once before looking down at my notebook in horror, reading the thoughts I had been having inside my head that was now in my own handwriting on the page. Barely being able to swallow, I tilted myself away from Hyun Joong, trying to rip the page out of the book quietly. However I flinched as the room suddenly filled with noise, and I realised the class was over. Slamming the book shut, I hurried to pack my pens away, accidentally knocking my cup with my now cold beverage in it sideways. Somehow the hand that appeared in my vision saved it from spilling everywhere, and I grimaced at my failed escape.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, stupidly looking up at Hyun Joong. He was smirking; his dark eyes alight with humour. I almost died on the spot, knowing he had seen the disastrous page I had been working intently and obliviously on in the previous hour. My face turned bright red and he soon grinned, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“See you on Friday, Rochelle,” he mentioned and I felt déjà vu as he left the classroom again, with me reeling from the events that had just occurred.

Taking a chance to look back inside my notebook, I opened up to the page again and winced at the comments on there, hastily ripping it out and balling the paper up. Stuffing everything back into my bag, I rushed over to the exit, pausing by the door. Holding the balled up piece of paper above the rubbish bin, I willed myself to throw it away.

“Oh for pete’s sake,” I mumbled to myself, and quickly slipped the ball into my bag instead, hurrying off to my Japanese class.