Deejavù (Hyllary Pov)

The Black Fear
Chapter 7
Hyllary Pov: Deejavù
 
The ticking of the clock was becoming more deafening.
It was the only noise that I heard perfectly.
So I decided to move me to the side, because that piece of steel was really attached to my ear, but when I realized it, I felt suffocating.
I was short of breath.
The solid material was leaning on my skin, partly soft and partly pungent, It was covering me more and more.
I absolutely could not open my eyes, because that thing was preventing me.
So, I used my fingers to feel its texture.
It didn't seem heavy.
Indeed, it was soft and a bit cold.
I understood by their structure and smell similar to wood, that it was leaves and ground not raised much time ago.
I realized that I had been buried alive in a small ditch.
Suddenly, my body became hot because of desperation
I wanted to get out of that dirty disgust.
I began to struggle fiercely, pushing most of the matter upwards, moving in various directions.
After several attempts, I managed to get out with the help of a small root, torn abruptly from the nearest tree.
 
§§§
 
Soon after, I lay down, finding myself in a bed of leaves
Finally, I was able to enjoy the fresh air of this beautiful summer day
The sun penetrated by immense larch,
The wind was my hair again,
and the sound of streams....
it lit up my heart.
The foliage of the near trees fell to the ground, leaning slightly.
I withdrew into myself, thinking of the beautiful moments of that trip
But a strong pulse at my temple, made me divert,
beginning to feel a pain especially intense and obsessive.
At that point, I stood up, repeatedly touching my sore aerea.
A liquid and unpleasant smell sostance was coming from it
I peered closely.
"This is blood!"
I thought to myself
Just when I collapse my arm desperately, placing it in my thigh,
I noticed that the sky invaded by the rays of the sun, began to transform, becoming a gray dome that held back the raging lightning.
The rain began to fall shortly after, through those green stems that were protecting me from the clouds.
Soaking wet, I started another adventure to find shelter, hoping to meet it quickly.
 
§§§
 
 
It was several hours I was running
I felt very weak
I could not even concentrate on what I had to do
Although, there was no trace of stone structure that could protect me.
The abrasions that ravaged my skin created me a lot of pain,
For this reason I needed an excellent shelter.
I walked
I walked
I walked
But the steps became more and more heavy
more and more difficult
Enough to make me lose my balance, after I having stepped on a stone the size of medium-sized, very pointed.
I slipped, preventing the fall, with hands outstretched,
finding myself in an athletic stance, as I were doing push-ups.
Immediately, I picked up the same stone, cursing it with various unkind words.
All of a sudden the memory surpassed all of those offenses,
having a deejavù.
 
§§§
 
"Mckenna stop, please!"
I cried, begging her.
For a few moments I saw his expression full of hatred and cruelty.
Then, she turned around, grabbing a stone, not very big, but dangerous enough. 
She held it aggressively, with admiring envy.
 
§§§
 
"Mckenna"
"Lay"
"The team"
"Where am I?"
I whispering to myself.
 
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Comments

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shawol2408
#1
Wow..this story is so....(out of words)....I don't know what to say...
Keep up with the good work...
amalily #2
Chapter 1: I think you have done a great job with this story so far! I like how the characters each have their specific personality traits and how it influences the way they view the excursion. I can see you've thought a lot about this story! ^^ Good work and good luck in the future too!! ^^
iblackstar12
#3
Chapter 1: this looks good^^~ you did a good job writing this one...I know how it feels to write a story when you're not using your first language so...i salute you for the nice chap!~ i'll be waiting for your next chaps~ *subscribes*
PandaChux3
#4
Chapter 1: I think this story definitely has potential - so far, it seems pretty interesting to me :D. I know that English isn't your first language, but you've done well~! There's still some tenses/grammatical errors here and there (eg: you don't put a comma after a quotation mark), but practice makes perfect~! Try finding a reliable beta-tester/proof-reader just to make sure that everything flows well :3. Oh, and personally, I think it'll be easier to read if you don't position the texts in the center~ Again, good job! Good luck with the story! ^ ^
BlingBlingTiger
#5
I likenthe idea! It seems like it will be very interesting! It is different, so I think more people will be attracted to reading it :3 good luck with this!! I will be supporting this story!!
:3
Crazefan4eve
#6
I really like ur plot..it's so interesting~~~ hope u can update soon n keep up the good work :D
Cherry_Drops
#7
The plot sounds really unique, I'm liking this sort of dark vibe of the story
Can't wait to read your future chapters ^_^
T0T0mato
#8
As I promised I hopped by your fan fiction~
And I really like the plot of the story, it sounds so interesting! Keep it up~! ^____^