“Naeun?”

I didn’t expect to see Taemin here….much more to see the child. I saw Saeun’s and my mom’s reactions….I felt nervous and surprised… but it’s here…it can’t be helped, there’s nothing I can do now…

“Taemin, nice seeing you…Who’s with you?” I tried to speak as calmly as I could…he shouldn’t notice me getting nervous.

“I am alone…annyeong, Mrs. Son, Saeun!”

Naeun’s mother smiled…and looked at Saeun. I feel that it surprised them to see me. This idea running through my mind, couldn’t be?

“Umma…you leave first….and you, little boy, be good okay…mwah… okay, Mom..Saeun-ah.”

They immediately left yet Taemin was still looking at the young boy…I couldn’t blame him…

“Shopping for kids’ clothes? I didn’t know you were taking care of someone…was he the child who was recently brought to the hospital?”

I do not know how he was able to find out about that…but I know Taemin…I know it is inevitable for him not to ask…because for anyone else who have already seen the child…it would be easier for them to think that…

“Ah, ne. Eunji’s cousin's son. He was left to us, his parents went overseas…besides, look, Saeun’s already a grown-up…We also miss having a little child at home…you know…it’s nice to have a small kid, right?

What the heck are you doing Naeun….you look like a pabo…why do I have to explain myself to him?

Taemin kept looking at the boy as they walk off…he then looked at me,

“O geurae…okay…I have to go, Naeun. It’s my mom’s birthday today.”

“Ah, indeed it is, I forgot. Please tell her, Happy Birthday for me. So, Taemin, I’ll go ahead. See you this weekend?”

He just nodded….and it’s undeniable that he had this serious look on his face… it was a relief that he didn’t ask further…I was able to breath calmly. I was already a few steps ahead from where he stands when he added,

“Naeun-ah!”

I turned around, “Ne?” in my mind; I hope he doesn’t ask me again.

“Take care and by the way, the kid is really handsome…lucky parents.”

I nodded…then continued walking. I don’t know what his last remark is all about or what it is for…but for now…I’m okay with the relief I’m feeling…for now.

I had to find the truth…seeing that boy, only a crazy person would not be thinking of what I’m thinking. Naeun, I don’t know what happened…why you didn’t say anything…why does it have to take so long…but I know that finding what I wanted, I would never have it in Naeun. I know, even if how many times I would attempt, I can’t let her speak…about the truth.

I am perplexed…been battling a hodgepodge of emotions within. Seeing the boy, I can't explain but I felt happy. It’s like seeing a mini me. The eyes though, he got from his mother…the same eyes that I love…I was smiling as I drive…but a part of me is also aching…is this my karma in exchange of leaving her before? Is this the debt that I need to pay for not talking to her…I can no longer contain my emotions…that mixed feelings of nervousness, happiness and sadness…but that child…the idea…it makes me want the truth and crave for its revelation.

******

“Eunji-ya, the door!”

“Arasso, arasoo, Umma, wae?  Are you in a hurry?”

But when I opened the door, it turned out to be someone I didn’t expected to see…

“Lee Taemin?”

“Annyeong, Eunji-ssi…can we talk?”

******

60 kph…driving…aching

“Taemin…Naeun didn’t left that night…she waited under the rain… she waited for you. We were really mad at her because she made herself look like a fool. But I couldn’t blame her for that... Maybe, if it was me, I will also do the same thing.”

80kph…still driving…aching more

“We had to go there…at your residence …we were the ones who fetched her to come back home…if you only saw her…you’ll also feel sorry for her…that’s why honestly…we were also angry at you…”

100kph….pushing hard to the pedal…mad

“I don’t understand where she got the confidence to talk to you now…when you came back…I thought, if I were her…I won’t forgive you. Her dad did not talk to her for months…she had to go to London…but God was so good to Naeun…because even if she already gave birth and all that …she’s still here.. Still surviving…and every blessing that she has right now…she worked hard for it.”

I was mad….I was mad at myself….if I could turn back the time…I would…120kph…I know…I’m already driving beyond the set limits, but I don’t care…

My heart is swelling with so much anger…all I can ever hear is the breeze of the wind entering my open window. The sound of honking cars…the lights across the street…I was like a mad man driving as if trying to call death. But then the image of the boy…his face…that fragile being that was mine…I can’t be like this…I pulled over…stopped and cried….

“ARRRRRGGGGGGG!!!! YOU’RE AN , LEE TAEMIN!!! YOU’RE A PABO! YOU’RE SO STUPID, STUPID!!! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT~!!” I buried my face in the steering wheel, my face flushed with anger…with deep