*Key words bolded for those of you who do not want to read the mess of the author's note xD

Hey guys! Thanks to everyone who suggested and shared their opinions/ideas for the story, I appreciate all of the contributions! As you can see, I still haven't updated chapter 18 and I'm dying to, but it's lacking in so many places and I just can't continue it without the urge to pull my eyes out. To assure you that I absolutely will not abandon this story, I will let you know that I have the whole middle to the end planned out and have began crafting some chapters. I'm extremely excited for it and want to share it with you all, but I can't until I continue where we left off. Chapter 18 will once again be delayed and I apologize.

But to thank you all for bearing with the ups and downs and the no updates, I will share this segment of a future chapter with you all! I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did while writing it xD I also hope I don't give away who the guy is. Also, thank you to all the new subscribers and the upvotes and the comments and the views! I can't thank you all personally right now, but as a gift, I present you a mess of a sneak peek! xD (Once again, excuse the formatting :/)
P.S. I also want to change the poster and possibly layout so any of you who wants to make me a poster/layout, feel free to PM me :D

            “Why can’t I let you go?” he whispered the second Rhine stepped on the patio.

            She stopped a few feet from him, hand clutching the note from him telling her to meet him there. His back was turned to her and she could make out the rise and fall of his shoulders. He held tightly onto the wooden railing, the hold turning his knuckles pale.

            “Why do I hurt every time you’re near?” The wind rushed by, lifting his words along with it. The words stung and she closed her eyes. Her heart longed for him, but she couldn’t make herself go to him. “Does his love… satisfy you?”

            He slowly turned to face her, their eyes frantically scanning each other’s appearance. Her stomach lurched at the sight of his sunken eyes that had turned red, probably from crying for days. He pulled his snapback down, hiding his eyes. His face got thinner, his jawbone pressing hard against his skin as if it’s about to slice through. He lost so much weight that the veins on his hands bulged out even more than before. The brightness of his skin tone had turned pale and the color of his lips dulled.

            “Does he love you more than I could’ve?” his voice was hoarse and broken as if he wasn’t feeling well. “Or does he still hurt you… over and over?”

            It was enough to force her to rush over to him, tears welling up in her eyes. She stopped inches from him, legs shaking and knees threatening to unbuckle beneath her weight. She reached up to touch his face but he harshly turned before they could make contact.

            “Don’t. The more you act like you care, the more it’d hurt to let you go,” his tone was laced with pain and her chest constricted. Her hand hovered in the air and he shoved past her. He went to the other side and peered out at the scenery. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you… so I wanted to see you. I didn’t think you’d come.”

            Rhine turned towards him but she couldn’t speak. She didn’t know what to say to make things right. Even if she tried to say something, she knew she’d break. Her hands longed for his and her body ached to be in his arms, but she felt it’d be wrong. So she said nothing at all and stood still, gazing longingly at his back. She wanted to tell him that even if they couldn’t be together, it was enough to stare at him. Even if she only did that, it was enough. But she couldn’t muster up the courage to say those things.

            “Is it wrong that ever since you chose him, I pray that you’d regret your decision?” A light laugh escaped his lips. It sent a chill down her spine. Whether it was from fear or excitement, she couldn’t tell. He had never laughed like that before. It was cynical and psychotic, as if he was amused by his own boldness. Even it sounded foreign to him. “I pray for the day you leave him and come to me.”

            He shifted in his spot, turning slowly to face her. Each second he took seemed like forever. She wanted to look at him, at the face she fell for, so badly that every second became torture. The second he turned to face her, she frantically searched the perimeter of his face. His gorgeous face. She remembered thinking a few years back that she wouldn’t mind waking up every morning to see it. His eyes scanned hers, savoring every millimeter. He reached up and his fingers brushed against her cheek, sending warmth through both their bodies. She tilted her head towards him, longing for his every touch.

            “I’ve become selfish, wanting you only for myself.” His thumb caressed her bottom lip as he slowly leaned in. Her heart beat faster, her breathing heavy. His eyes rested on her lips, flaring with lust. “I want to hear you say you love me,” his voice became a mere whisper, husky and in a daze. “I want you to turn away from him and come to me.”

His eyes darted up to meet hers and he quickly pulled away, breath uneven. The second he moved away from her, the spots he touched turned cold. She wanted to have him near, but she knew it would be wrong. She no longer had that right.

“Who did I become?” He harshly went to the rail and gripped the ledge. “I’m selfish. He doesn’t deserve a friend like me. I want you to leave him so I can be happy. When did I become this monster?”

“Stop!” She ran to him, hand grabbing his arm. “You’re not a monster.”

He harshly pulled away, eyes searching hers. “I never thought I’d become this way. But with you, my heart has turned greedy and selfish. We both know how this will end. This is goodbye, Rhine.”

“No, please.” Her eyes began to water, staring at him helplessly.

“You know I never want to say this, but this is the only way I can let go. I can’t see you anymore.”

He turned and she held out her arm to stop him, but he didn’t budge. Tears streamed down her face and she felt hopelessly lost. Every piece of her felt torn. The air felt like shards of glass, pricking her as if to say she deserved to be let go for every pain she inflicted on him.

“Are you gonna pretend we never were?” She called after him and he stopped in his tracks but didn’t turn back. “Are you gonna act like our feelings for each other don’t exist?! Are we gonna go back to being strangers again?!  ”

“A lady should never have two men, Rhine. You should know that better than anybody.”

“Then what about you?! All those girls you’re with,” she swiped at her tears. “Are you like him? A man who can’t settle with one girl?”

“But you know the only person I think about at three a.m. is you. This is what makes it so hard.” He turned around. “When I’m with another girl, you’re the one on my mind instead.”

“Then why are we like this?”

“You already know. The second you chose him, that’s the second you and I no longer exist.”

“We can’t even be friends?”

“Being near you makes it harder for me to move on, don’t you get it?! We can’t be friends, we can’t interact, we can’t exchange smiles. We can’t keep going on pretending that everything’s fine when we know it’s not. I can’t keep acting like we’re friends when you’re the only one I want standing beside me on the altar. For this exact reason, we can’t keep meeting each other like this.” Her sobs filled the air and she brought her hand up to cover her nose and mouth, muffling her cries. The sight tears at his heart and he’s weakened to the point of giving up and running to her and grabbing her and smacking his lips with hers, but he turned instead.

“You know every song I write will be about you, won’t that be enough to cheer you up?” His words caused her to cry harder. His eyes looked at her with sorrow and he was sickened by the fact that he made her cry. “I’m sorry… It’s too late to change our minds, you’re already his.”  

She still didn’t look up and she cried harder. He looked at her with pain and regret, but there’s nothing he could do to make things better. Without saying anything, he turned and walked away into the day. She fell to her knees as she sobbed into her hands. She knew that he would never be hers again.